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  1.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Sep 6th 2016
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    So I have 6 bridesmaids, all of who have offered to pay for their own dresses. Due to this myself and my h2b have organised our day accordingly taking into account that we wouldn't have to worry about dresses. Now here is the problem... Our wedding is in 7 months and I have only 2 bridesmaids with dresses. Now one of my bridesmaids who doesn't have her dress yet has just asked me to be bridesmaid for her, though she hasnt placed any deposits down to secure a date for anything at all for her wedding yet. Every time we have been to the dress shop (at least 5 times) she has put off saying next month will be better for me. However, I have just found out that she has just gone and bought her wedding dress which was £200 cheaper than she was expecting. She hasnt even set a date yet but she wants September 2018. I am more than happy than she is starting to organise her wedding and would love more than anything to help her with planning etc. But I feel like I am being fobbed off. She is supposed to be one of my best friends but when I asked her last if she could try to come to the next bridesmaids appointment I felt like she snapped at me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't take back asking someone to be bridesmaid but it is worrying me slightly that she doesn't have a dress yet.
  2.  
    • LaurenD45
      CommentAuthorLaurenD45
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 6th 2016
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    Sounds to me like her priorities have shifted and she's thinking about her wedding now and not yours, which is natural.
    I would just say that people who want to be bridesmaids need to be at such a place on such a date as dresses need to be bought. If you can't make it I'm really sorry but you will just have to be a normal guest at the wedding. It shouldn't be this stressful.. But remember you can only say that if you are happy with it and can accept that you may end up having fewer bridesmaids.
  3.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Sep 6th 2016
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    I have been wishing for a while now that I had asked fewer people to be bridesmaid to be honest. I mean I have absolutely no issues in my friend wanting to focus on hers but I find it a bit much when she keeps fobbing me off with money issues or work when she has just bought her own wedding dress without a date set. It's just a bit disheartening. I have mentioned to her subtly that she is super organised and glad she managed to get her dress, and that I feel my organisational skills crumbling because of certain things in regards to dresses, suits etc. We have taken into account if we would have to pay for all dresses but it puts us over budget after having been told by the bridesmaids they would buy their own and wouldn't expect us to pay. I feel selfish thinking like it but it has been stressing me out a bit too much.
  4.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 6th 2016
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    yea she is obviously thinking of money for her own wedding now, but she should just buy the dress and then its done, they offered so they should follow through with it.

    You could tell a white lie and say you spke to the shop keeper and they are going to be discontinuing the dress next month so people will need to buy it asap, might push them to buying it! xx

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  5.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Sep 6th 2016
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    Well that's it, I have mentioned it to her about trying to get them sorted, especially since she saved £200 unexpectedly on her wedding dress and the bridesmaid dress she saw was about £150 so really she isn't going to be losing any money, but now she has gone silent on me I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. I am giving her plenty of notice before each dress appointment and each time she is at work or can't pay.
    One of my bridesmaids actually said she thought the dresses took 6 months to come in after ordering them, which obviously panicked me because we only have 7 months. One of my bridesmaids dresses has just come in early and when I mentioned it in a group conversation, this one particular bridesmaid was like "well her dress came in quick enough didn't it?". I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for the next appointment on 21st. I have given her 3 weeks notice.
  6.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Sep 6th 2016
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    Mmmm sounds like she doesn't want to pay

    I woukd just be honest with them all and say that 21st is final dress shopping for those who haven't yiu have until this date and then just say that although you would still like them to be BM if they can't offers it or no longer want to be BM to speak up, you won't be offended and rather know sooner rather than later so you can crack on with arrangements Xx

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  7.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 7th 2016
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    Im with Michelle here, sounds like she doesnt want to pay.
    Id do what Michelle said and put a final date on dress shopping.....
    In fairness the second it came to wedding planning my priorities shifted. She could be easily consumed by her own plans and not realise she is giving you the cold shoulder.
    Maybe get her bridesmaods dress and offer a coffee afterwards to discuss her plans.

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    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
  8.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 7th 2016
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    i agree on saying its the final BM dress date. You know the dress that their all having so if they dont get it then its their problem and they obviously dont want to be BM, think you need to step up and put your foot down x

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  9.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Nov 10th 2016
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    I know it has been a while since I have posted, but just an update for all you ladies... All bridesmaids dresses are ordered!! I am so happy! Two ordered in September and their dresses have just come in but they are going to wait until the last ones come in to go and pay them off and try them on so they can all see together :) I was ready to put my foot down and thankfully my friend ordered her dress on the day I was going to give a cut off date. Hopefully the last two dresses will come in before Christmas or just after so that they will all have time to prepare for any alterations if need be. Its just a waiting game now!
  10.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 16th 2016
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    Excellent news, glad you are sorted :)

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    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  11.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Nov 16th 2016
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    Fab news xxx

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  12.  
    • MaxineP89
      CommentAuthorMaxineP89
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Nov 16th 2016
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    That's great news Jessica. xx

    Looking forward to becoming the 3rd and last Mrs McLauchlan


 
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