Hi brides, I'm looking for some advice. I am keeping my bridal party to just family, my sister is Maid of Honour, my niece is flower girl. My H2B has one sister who is 13, who I feel like I have to ask to be bridesmaid, however, I know she isn't going to enjoy the role and will be moody all day. Do I ask her anyway or not and risk upsetting my future mother in law who I already don't see eye to eye with?
Hi I would make a point of asking her in front of your FMIL so she can't say she wasn't asked good luck :)
Ask her and make it clear that she's under no obligation to say yes if she doesn't want to do it, then she won't feel pressured and you both have a get out clause ;)
She's 13, of course she is going to be moody. However what you may find is that being asked to be bridesmaid might make her feel good. Dressing up for the day can really change an attitude even if it's just for that day xxx
Give her the choice, you never know she may be up for it, teens can be unpredictable!
You say you feel like you have to ask her, not that you want too. If you only feel like you have to ask her because of your MIL then I wouldn't ask. You should have the day the way you want it not the way you feel others want it xx
I would ask her as you don't want to be upsetting your in laws. However, I would tell her she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to but if she says yes then she has to be enthusiastic on the day. Last thing you want is a misseribls bridesmaid on your wedding photos, I don't care how old people are if you are asked to be bridesmaid and accept then it's a privilege and means you mean a lot to the bride so least you can do is smile! Xx
No way! It's YOUR decision, do what YOU want!
Ask her. It's his wedding too not just yours!!
Don't do it! When I got engaged & first asked them to be bridesmaids they were sweet, primary school aged, girlie & excitable. And now they're 11 & 13, they don't like dresses, nothing girlie, moody, don't get excited about anything - it's been a draining and unenjoyable experience sorting dresses & hair. Maybe say to her, I was thinking of only having one bridesmaid as it's a small wedding. But I just wanted to check if you really wanted to be bridesmaid, before I made that decision. I can think of a few roles for you on the day if you aren't a bridesmaid (help see guests to seats, press play for music, hand out confetti)...?
What does your husband think? .... if he wants her to be bridesmaid and it's a case of keeping the piece then I'd just ask her.
It doesn't need to be made into a huge role, walk down the Isle & few pictures after then she can go back to being a miserable teenager xx
Your day so you should feel comfortable with your choice of bridesmaids I'm sure your h2b hasn't given you a say in best man or groomsmen
Ask her. She may really love being asked and it could make her day. In the actual day you'll be too wrapped up in the whole excitement of getting married that if she is a bit scowly you won't notice.
Well ask yourself if keeping the peace is worth her possibly, and likely, saying yes and being moody throughout preparations, or even turning the day into hers; teenagers and wedding dress shopping often lose sight of the fact they are not the bride. It could also all work out wonderfully as others have said, but weigh up all possibilities
What about asking her to do a reading as a 'very special role' ..... this fulfils several things
1, you have made a huge effort for her
2, MIL will be impressed
3, you don't have to buy her a dress
4, you don't have to have sulky face in wedding party pictures
5, if she says no,it makes her look ungrateful
6, someone else will say what a 'special ' thing it is n how she can't mess it up
7, if she's moody doing it ...EVERYONE will judge her
Like Lucy l says try ask her in front of future mother in law when she can't say u don't ask her
Ask your H2B what his thoughts are and if he would like to have her involved as it is his wedding too so nice to have his family involved as well if they want to be 😊 x
I feel that you should ask her, and explain what she needs to do ie, behave herself, good luck x
You never know she might surprise you. My sister is 13 and is normally moody and a total pain but she is so excited to be bridesmaid and is really positive and happy about it x
Could you give her a choice of being either a bridesmaid or the ring bearer and let her choose. X
I'd ask her, tell her what it involves and see what her reaction is. If she doesn't seem at all interested, then you can tell her there's no pressure, that you understand if she doesn't want to and you'll still be happy if she's there on the day. That way you've not pushed her to a decision but it's clear she has been asked
Why not ask her if she would like to be bridesmaid or would like to be another flower girl, I'm sure she would think it would be nice to have a choice, if she doesn't want to take part then thats up to her but hopefully pleased everyone.x
Ask her if she'd like to she'd like the role.
That way she was given the choice x