UKbride Member Request 25 Jul 2017

Bridesmaid dilemma! My maid of honour was a really easy decision! Likewise...

Bridesmaid dilemma! My maid of honour was a really easy decision! Likewise there was another friend I knew I wanted to be a bridesmaid. Then another 2 girls who are my H2B close friends who I am now also friends with aswell so I want them to be part of our day. But I’m stuck because there is one friend who I have known since I was about 5 years old, we have the kind of friendship where we can go for like 6 months without talking then we meet up and its back to normal again, I always thought she would be my bridesmaid but now I’m engaged I’m not so sure. She doesn’t seem interested in my relationship let alone the wedding now I’m engaged, because her own relationship has been on /off for a few years and she knows I don’t like her boyfriend I think she struggles to be happy for anyone else (he does drugs and has cheated on her hence why I don’t like him so he won’t be invited to the wedding) I know she’s expecting to my bridesmaid (well she assumed she was going to be maid of honour but I made it clear I had already picked someone else) I know usually in situations she’s the kind of person who wants to be centre of attention and I’m not sure how she will act on the wedding day. Will she be focused on helping me stay calm and get ready ect or whether she will be just be worrying about what she looks like and drawing attention to herself away from me and the groom. I really 50/50 about it. I have been leaving it open either way but I want to send the invites out within the next 8 weeks – they have a link to my wedding website where the bridal party are listed so I need to make a decision before I sent the invites out…. Advice please?!

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 25 Jul 2017

Hi if you are that unsure I wouldn't ask her to be bridesmaid :)

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 25 Jul 2017

If you are unsure and worried about her stealing the limelight then don't ask her x

Rachel Lee
Rachel Lee 25 Jul 2017

I've been in a similar situation and made them part of my bridal party. Regretted it, don't do it because you feel obliged or guilty xx

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 25 Jul 2017

I really think if I was in same position and I was so unsure I'd rather not ask them x

Amy Taylor
Amy Taylor 25 Jul 2017

It's your decision and just because she assumes you'll ask doesn't mean you should. It's your day so be happy with your decision whichever you go with and don't worry about what she may or may not think. If she really is a friend, she'll understand :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

I think you answered your own question Hun. I would not bother asking her if that's how you feel. x

Alana Zaks
Alana Zaks 26 Jul 2017

I had pretty much exactly same dilemma with one of my friends. She assumed she would be asked, we spent a lot of time together previously but she loves to be centre of attention and I feel like she only wants to be bridesmaid for the label and nice dress. I had doubts so I haven't asked her. I've gone with those people who I know will be amazing on the day and who support me through everything. I wouldn't ask her


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