Steph Hope
Steph Hope 24 Jul 2017

Hi, I'm looking for a little advice. I have 5 bridesmaids and at the minute...

Hi, I'm looking for a little advice. I have 5 bridesmaids and at the minute only 2 of them are showing an interest, it's like the other 3 just can't be bothered. We have a group chat and when I send pictures of things I like they completely shut my ideas down and say they don't like things or they just read it and don't reply until it's something they want to send. I have got my dress but don't want the 3 who are showing no interest to see until the day because I'm afraid they will say they don't like it. I have tried to organise a day where we go look for bridesmaids dresses because until I know their colour I can't really organise invitations, colour theme or decorations for the venue. When I asked them the 3 who can't be bothered all said they pick pink and told me to just go do what I need to do and they'll come shopping later on. 2 out of the 3 who can't be bothered are also my sisters! Am I just over reacting? This is supposed to be a happy and exciting time for me and at the minute it's just not.

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 24 Jul 2017

First question I have is why are your bridesmaids choosing your colour scheme? Surely you should be choosing that and so long as it doesnt look awful they should just be happy? It sounds to me like you need to talk to them and tell them how you feel and that you would appreciate a little more enthusiasm and involvement. They might not realise how it is effecting you x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

I didn't really ask for my bridesmaids input on my wedding as I knew what I wanted. One thing my dad told me and I pass this onto every bride who says their bridesmaids aren't interested. It's your wedding. Not theirs. And as much as it's all you think about they have other priorities and their own life. They won't be as excited for your wedding as you are. As long as they're happy to be beside you on the day that's all that matters.
I mean yes I agree when bridesmaids get picky and fussy about the dresses that's tough and it's not their choice but I think especially bridesmaids who aren't married don't understand how it feels to plan a wedding or to have that excitement. I'd make your own wedding plans and only inform them of things they need to know. Also I only took my sister and chief bridesmaid to look at dresses, not all my bridesmaids xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

No one else is ever going to be as interested in your wedding as you are, bridesmaid or not. Just pick a colour and a dress and say can we all go on X day to try them on. If I was constantly Whatsapping my bridesmaids pictures of random dresses they would probably ignore me too.

Sophie Lucy
Sophie Lucy 24 Jul 2017

Hi, sorry you are feeling the way that you do. My sister in law only had her mom see her dress before the wedding, it's not uncommon, I would just say you're keeping it a secret/ surprise. .....

Also maybe try speaking with them and explaining how you feel? I know if it was me, I'd do that and hopefully they understand xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Like others have said, nobody is going to be as excited about your wedding as you, you shouldn't get offended when they don't seem as bothered. On the other hand they have no right to put down any of your ideas. You need to choose the colour theme not them, you and your partner. Don't forget that often the grooms party colour coordinate their ties/cravats with the bridesmaids dresses, they're dictating pink, is your partner happy with that? You and your partner choose the theme, and organise decorations and when to go shopping.

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 24 Jul 2017

I have all my bridesmaid on a whatsapp too but mine is so far away at the moment I haven't really sent much on it. I am wondering why they are picking the colours? If it was me I'd pick the colours and then maybe get their input on the style they like. No one will be as excited as you on this and I don't think some of my bridesmaids will be as involved as others and I'm ok with that. Only my mum and step daughter are seeing my dress beforehand x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

I'm having the same problem. I'm having 3 but only one of them is actually being a real help (although my sister is another bridesmaid who has special needs so it's not like she can do much anyway) but having trouble getting hold of the other one, send them messages group chat messages and she's not answering. It's really bugging me to the point where I'm thinking of telling her not to bother!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Dont let them pick colour it your chocie i would not bother having them as they should be supporting you not giving you stress

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 24 Jul 2017

Hi I would tell them that you want to go dress shopping on 1/2 dates and if they can't be bothered tell them then you will be revising your wedding party. Don't leave the choice if colour up to them it is your wedding good luck :)


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