UKbride Member Request 6 Jul 2017

My MOH and best friend got engaged a week or so after me, and booked her...

My MOH and best friend got engaged a week or so after me, and booked her wedding date for exactly 2 weeks after mine (after I had booked mine) which didn't bother me too much. I took my time choosing my bridal party but she asked hers straight away, and I wasn't one of them. I was a little upset as she chose a friend she has known for a year to be her MOH and I wasn't asked to be part of the day at all, despite being her best friend of 15 years (we went to school together). I let it go but a few months later, she completely fell out with her MOH and was left without one. She came to me and she complained she didn't know who to ask and she was probably going to "Have to" make her sister in law MOH. Again, I was a little bit upset, but I thought that I didn't want to push myself onto her so I left it. I figured you don't ask to be asked and I still wanted her to be part of my day so I asked her to be my MOH which she accepted. I've never expressed not wanting to be part of her day, and my wedding is so simple that wouldn't have affected anything either. She has picked her witnesses too. Yet, she has started asking me to do jobs on the wedding day like usher people around the venue for photos etc, which I've politely declined, as without being rude, I've not been made part of the day to be given that job. That's more her MOH's job, but she claims her MOH won't do it. I want to ask her why she didn't involve me in her day because it's niggling at me, but don't want to cause upset or argument. Am I just being touchy?

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 6 Jul 2017

You might be being a little touchy but I totally see where you are coming from. Why dont you ask her if it is bothering you that much. She might have a genuine reason eg she didnt want to ask you as you would be busy with your wedding or something. If you dont ask you wont know and it sounds like it is really bothering you. x

Julianne Heffernan
Julie Heffernan 6 Jul 2017

I sort of understand, i went down the route of just keeping it family for bridesmaids as i knew it would cause upset with my friends. I think they were still a bit dissappointed but i'm happy with my option. I'd like to think they could ask me why though, after 20 years of friendship there should be honesty and comfort. So ask her, if you dont feel comfortable asking before the wedding, ask afterwards. But try to enjoy it. Oh and goodluck for yours! X

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 6 Jul 2017

Hi I always thought it was the best man and ushers that helped the photographer to get everyone where needed, she doesn't seem to have considered your feelings at all good luck :)

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 6 Jul 2017

I get why you feel like you do. I would have to speak to her about it as I'm the sort of person where it will fester and then it will come out wrong or worse than it needed to. So for me I'd have to just ask why. I'm sure there will be a reason like she thought you would be busy with yours. It will probably just clear the air xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Jul 2017

Maybe she knows how much stress your under with your wedding been in these final weeks and worried that she could be putting extra onto you with helping planning her day and hen. I don't think her not asking u is necessarily a bad thing.

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 8 Jul 2017

Your probably being a bit touchy but if my sister didn't ask me to be her maid of honour I would be upset as she is mine . I would ask her just very casually slip it into conversation about she's your maid of honour and that didn't she think of you when it came to choosing hers

Elizabeth Tooke
Elizabeth Tooke 9 Jul 2017

Try not to let it get to you, it could have gone straight over her head as where your getting a week before she may have thought you might not be able to make it as you could be on honeymoon xx


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