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UKbride Member Request 23 Jan 2020

Should we elope?

I’m looking for some advice please. Me and my fiancé are trying to decide whether we want a small wedding with around 20-30 guests (close family and friends) or whether to elope and marry in secret, just the two of us. I have fell in love with the idea of eloping and it being us alone but I am worried that I will regret not having my children with me. (We have 3 young children) if we were to elope we would plan to have a party/wedding Some time after and celebrate with our closest loved ones. Because our children are so young its not likely that they would be able to keep it a secret from other family members so our thinking is to do it completely alone and then have the wedding/party at a later time. Our reasoning behind this is due to certain family issues and our financial situation at the moment. I also think it’s very romantic! Has anyone eloped before and did you have any regrets about not having close family with you? Also how did your family and friends react when you told them you had gotten married in secret?

34 Comments
UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Regardless you wont be alone as by law you need 2 witnesses

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Just tell the kids your going on holiday and do it while your there. You can surprise everyone with the news when you get back

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

If you want to elope and have your children with you, I don't see why you can't do both? Take the children with you! If you're worried about them telling people, don't tell them until the very last second so that they don't get a chance to tell anyone.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

We were originally going to elope but decided against it as we thought we would upset family and friends. Now we wish we had decided to elope as there are arguments anyway!

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

There’s no way I would be able to do it without my children. I just wouldn’t tell them what’s going on! But that’s me.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

You could do this ... throw a party & surprise people by walking in wearing wedding outfits & then have a trusted friend conduct a blessing ceremony

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

We just having small wedding mostly family 50 people max we talked about eloping but if we did we would still need witnesses to sign marriage cirtificate ect so no point for us to elope x

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

We are having a small wedding with just our immediate family and it's still been no end of stress! Arguments about when and where so so many opinions 🥺 I wish we had eloped x

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

We're eloping with our 3 children, I couldn't do it without them, my son's giving me away too x

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

A family friend of mine did this, they just told their kids they were going out for the day and drove up to Gretna green.. when they got there they said oh we’re actually getting married! It’s your wedding it’s completely up to you

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

My in-laws did this, they have no regrets xx

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

My husband's only daughter did this and it broke his heart.
You can and should do what you want on your wedding day, I'm just saying that the wrong people can be very hurt.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Or don't tell the kids until the day, then they won't see anyone to tell them

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Look at Tree Top Escape in Devon stunning elopement weddings and your little ones can go. We're having ours there ❤️ xx

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

We decided to get married at Gretna Green. However, I'm an only child so wanted my parents there. We decided to just invite close family and in the end 19 of us went for the weekend and wedding. We got the best of both - Gretna Green small wedding but close family with us, then an evening reception back home, after the honeymoon. My mum is now too ill to travel, so I'm glad we did it this way and she got to come to the wedding.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Do the small wedding

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Who the hell would wana get married and not have their kids there?? If i was 1 of the kids id be packing me bags

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Me and my fiancé have booked a room for a maximum of 50 people but we have spoken a few times about just doing it with two witnesses but we have decided to stick to our original plan because we want our family and friend's to share our special day especially parents and we deserve to have a lovely wedding. We don't want to hurt our family and friends feelings that's why we decided to have a proper wedding. It might still cause a bit of a rift but I have clearly stated so many times that there's a certain limit to guests so we've had to put a lot of thought into it which was hard.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

How about elope with the kids but dont tell them anything about it so it's a bug surprise for them on the day! Then have a big party with everyone after!

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

I eloped. Took my daughter with me tho xxx

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

I never thought of eloping cause to me, marriage is a celebration of two families coming together. However, we did have an issue with budget and finding somewhere where we could have the ceremony and reception due to elderly family and young children and didn't want people to be stressed about moving from one place to another. I've booked my wedding with The Village hotel, it's a large branch with venues all over the UK. They do an amazing package deal in spring and winter where near enough everything is included (50 day guests with a 3 course meal and 100 evening guests with a buffet). All you have to do is sort out your dresses, suits, flowers, rings, cake, photographer and either a registrar or ordain a friend to conduct the ceremony (which is a lot cheaper). The company provide everything else including serving staff, chefs, decorators, your own wedding organiser and a room for the night for the bride and groom. All the info for the package deal is on their website and you save over £2000 with it. If you do decide to go for the big day, this would possibly be your best option with finances. However, if you decide to elope, they also do other package deals for homecoming parties. I hope this info is helpful and whatever you decide, you're happy. All the best!

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Will your future mother in law kill you if you elope? Because mine will therefore we are having a wedding! I wanted to elope but it's definitely not an option anymore!

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

We had a small wedding. Very small in fact...... 8 people and that included me and my husband.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

My partner and I were going to have a big wedding abroad but after careful consideration and family situations arising we have now opted for a small wedding abroad....will just be us, my son, his parents and mine. We are having a party when we get back for the rest of the family and friends. In the end of the day it's your wedding and you should do what you want. I was too worried about pleasing other people that it was effecting our day so I cancelled the original wedding and booked a different one that we are both very happy with and I don't care what anyone else wants it's not their wedding

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

We eloped 36 years ago and have never regretted it

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

We are having a family and close friends wedding but inviting others to the evening reception best of both worlds xx

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

Just tell the children you are all going on holiday then once there you can tell them the secret

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

my sister eloped abroad and had a dog afterwards, she regretted it and her wedding photos show how miserable she was, no family etc, and the supposedly hot weather turned into gail force winds and she often said she would have rather had a small wedding, we were going to elope but in the end didnt, motherinlaw has one son and mum one daughter and although it was our day, your family plays a part so we had a small wedding.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

I definitely could not get married without my children there. They are absolutely part of the marriage and my wedding day was a very special day for them too.. My 7 year old spent the day crying 'happy tears' and was over the moon that mummy now shared his surname. I would regret them not being a part of that special day for the rest of my life.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

My ex got married without his 2 children from previous relationships (my son and his brother from another mother) the boys were really upset that they weren't invited and are having worries/concerns over me not having them at my wedding in May. They are both 100% going to be there and I couldnt get married without them, they are my world and personally our wedding wouldnt be right without them being a part of it.

Everyone is different though. It worked for his dad to not have anyone there and just sign a piece of paper but to me a marriage is more than a bit of paper its sharing the special moment with your nearest and dearest but each to their own.

Good luck with your decision.

UKbride Member 23 Jan 2020

My parents went to Mexico for there 50th’s with my aunt and uncle and got married there without me or my sister knowing..they FaceTimed us after it in there outfits and I cried with happiness for them, never for a minute was I annoyed we weren’t there, granted I was 21 at the time but do what you want to do!!

UKbride Member 24 Jan 2020

My sister-in-law got married in turkey. She gave close family the option to come and pay for themselves or go to the party when they got back. Everyone who wanted to be there made their own finances work so they just paid for the holiday for themselves and children and approx £1500 for the legal ceremony which was help on the beach.

UKbride Member 24 Jan 2020

I could never get married without my mum dad and son there x

UKbride Member 24 Jan 2020

Could you just not tell kids tell them your going away for a few days as a family and make a little holiday from it aswel and then when you come back tell everyone your married kids ain’t gonna know what’s going on until u actually get married or tell them when you get there

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