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UKbride Member Request 13 Jan 2020

People assuming they will be included in the day

How would you react if someone outright asked if they were going to be bridesmaid at your wedding? Although it's a close family connection, we are not actually close and haven't been for a while, if that makes sense. She seems to have assumed that she will be bridesmaid due to being family.

26 Comments
UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

Tell her no.you have chosen your friends.xx

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

Just tell her no

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I would be honest and tell her that is wrong to assume and that she isn’t going to be a bridesmaid as your not that close and you have already chosen. It is yours and your fiancés big day at the end of the day not anyone else’s. I’ve had similar situations as I’m currently planning mine and I’ve made clear if you can’t accept my decisions or don’t like how I’m doing it then you either suck it up and get on board or your off the invite list and we have made clear we don’t care how close people are to us it applies to all as regardless of anyone else’s opinions it’s what me and my hubby wants that matters. Don’t be swayed just because it’s “family” I have a big family but I’ve not invited half of them, not even to our reception - why? Because we aren’t close/don’t really speak etc, they don’t participate in anyway in our lives, despite our past efforts. Blood isn’t always thicker than water hun.

You do what you want to do and hope either way you have an amazing wedding. Please feel free to inbox me if you want too xxx

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

My relative did the same, i just bluntly told her no adults in the wedding party. She tried kicking off, so i told her, if she wants to pay for the whole wedding ill do it her way lol xxx

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

Your wedding your choice
Simple 😊

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I used to get it a lot. Same with being godparent, some family members just assume. I’m not one to hold back though so I’d nip it in the bud with a straight “No you’re not” 😬

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I'm having 1 bridesmaid. No maid of honor or big bridal party. Just tell her no, who ever you have chosen you've got your own reason for which means something to you x

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

No bridesmaids = no hassle 😘😘

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

Tell her to do one it's your wedding

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I had 8 bridesmaids 😂

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I'd say "No, you're not. I've already chosen my Bridesmaid/s and Maid of Honour." But my family know that I'm blunt and wouldn't even assume things like that 😂

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

How close a family member though sister of you or groom ?

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I would say pardon i never said u was

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

Be straight and say no. If she’s unhappy about it it’s really just too bad

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I actually had this with me "bestfrie d"s wife... I'd been her maid of honour (I was good friends with the guy and she hadn't really gotten anyone) and I did my best for her. I think she expected to be a bridesmaid because of that and when she asked me if she could be one I felt so awkward and because her husband was a bridesman for me I said yes.... I still regret that decision as I wasn't that close to her and she became difficult with me and caused a huge fight that now has ended in me replacing both of them after she caused the fight and my "best friend" stopped talking to me because I had to apparently make up with her even though she was making my life hell as a bride. I lost a best friend because I couldn't say no. If you aren't close to this person do not let them being your bridesmaid as they just want the role and the dress and won't be 100% behind you.

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

My bro presumed his daughter was he presumed wrong!!! Yr day yr choice 😩

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I'm only having a maid of honour and then my fiancé has his best man and that's it. Nice and simple

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

"Actually I've chosen my wedding party and asked them already. You're more than welcome to come to the wedding however"

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I get your pain, you want to do things your way without upsetting her, thing is she gonna be upset she might even have a go at you but tbh it is you and your husbands day and if she cant support that then why you pussy footing around her anyway...I cant talk I turn into a clam rather than tell someone.no or something they dont want to hear but it's not helped me none.

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I've had that happen. I laughed it off like the person asking was joking. Funnily enough, the subject was never brought up again...

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I've got 2 of these...
MIL has assumed her niece will be a bridesmaid and is pushing for her younger sons or husband to be best men.
My SIL told me when I got engaged 4 years ago that "if I'm not a bridesmaid for you, you can't be one for me"... sucks to be her because she had her wedding and I was one of her 3 bridesmaids (I think my brother forced her into getting me and my sister to do it). She still isn't going to be one for me.
My fiancé has already asked his best men and I'm only having my sister and I've got 10 people other than them that I'd choose first.

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

My friend assumed she is going to be my bridesmaid, I told her straight, it's very small wedding I'm not having bridesmaid.

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

Just be honest ..... sorry no as we have decided.....

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I think anyone who puts you in that position of them ‘assuming’... they should be cut even if you were going to ask them 😂 One of my friends got very drunk a couple of years back and she gave me pure attitude when I told her that my 3 chosen bridesmaids were friends I’ve known for over 20 years. I asked someone additional who she has issues with but is someone I speak to EVERY week, much more than her.... she hasn’t spoken to me in around 6 months. 10 years friendship down the drain but 1 less person to feed 👍🏼😂

UKbride Member 14 Jan 2020

I lost a friend of 23 years over this exact thing. She demanded to be made a bridesmaid because I ‘had known her the longest’.
Forget the fact she hasn’t bothered to contact me in 3 years and the only way she found out I was getting married was by looking on fb........ if I hadn’t put it on fb she would’ve been none the wiser

UKbride Member 15 Jan 2020

I had this from my childhood friend, we only see each other about twice a year usually when I take her daughter (my godaughter) her xmas or birthday presents down, and I also had it from my htb sister... I told them both that I'm only having my daughters as bridesmaids and nobody else!

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