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UKbride Member Request 9 Nov 2019

Am I being stupid?

Me and my H2B have been together for years and known eachother for even longer but suddenly as soon as we got engaged my friend just felt she had to get engaged aswell to guy she barely knows, and is now getting married around the same time as us, am I being selfish or stupid in being upset about this?

35 Comments
UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

You can't control what other people decide to do, so I'd just focus on planning your dream wedding and doing what you want to do no matter what anyone else thinks or has planned - it's your day. I can see where you're coming from, and would probably feel a little out out initially too, so have a rant and then try to focus on your own day and wedding x

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

People meet and marry at different speeds, so how long they’ve been together doesn’t really matter if she’s happy. As long as it’s not the same date as yours (if you have mutual guests I’m thinking) I can’t see a problem. It shouldn’t impact your wedding. If she’s a close friend, I’d be happy for her, maybe even swap wedding planning ideas, as most people get bored of hearing about the wedding planning 😅

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

There’s no right or wrong time to get engaged to someone. I’m guessing he’s asked her? If so you can’t blame her.
When you say similar time is it within weeks days or months?
Instead of being pissed that she’s engaged too try being happy for her.

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Maybe you should try being happy for your friend. Planning your weddings together could be really great.

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

As long as its not same weekend can’t see problem

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Doesn’t matter as long as it’s not the same date. It will be nice to have someone to share wedding ideas with! Be happy for her!

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Why does that stop you from enjoying your engagement?

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Why would this even be an issue? Be happy for her!

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

As long as not same date then no. I wasnt even with my husband a year when he proposed. We now have a little boy and are very happy together. Length of time doesnt really play a part. Get excited and now u cud have really exciting wedding planning sessions!!

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Can you not just be happy fir her like she is for you

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Be excited you have a wedding buddy to plan with xxx

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

I'm in this with Amie Szatkowski and we keep discussing ideas with eachother, she's also using some of our stuff after the wedding for her own 😂😘

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

How lucky are you to have another bride to share wedding planning with! The wedding limelight is just for your big day, you can't expect no one else to be engaged the whole time you're engaged

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

My best friend got engaged around the same time and married around the same time and I loved it. Had someone to share all my excitement and worries with xx

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

You are being both of those things.

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Yes you are. Everyone's relationship will work at a different pace, your day is about you and your partner, same with theirs. They have nothing to do with each other, if they're on different days I don't see a problem. Stop being jealous and be happy for your friend like she hopefully is for you.
Congratulations x

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Me and my ex were together for just over 2 years before we got engaged however a girl we knew about 6 months before hand met a guy and was engaged within 3 months. She boasted about it....they broke up not long ago cause she felt she settled.

As long as the weddings arnt on the same weekend you’ll be fine but if your worried about her taking her ideas etc just don’t tell her what your planning and keep it to yourself

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Yes your being selfish but if it upsets you it upsets you. You may need to remind yourself why you are getting married. It’s not about a day or nice dresses or expensive venues , it’s about finding that person that makes you feel like you can’t live without them. So maybe your friend has found this. Why can’t you be happy for her and plan your days together x

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Sounds like your being a bridezillar! Let her join in on the planning with a glass of wine! Make it a girls night, no need to be bitter ❤

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Take it as a compliment, she may want to share all the exciting things with you. I know it's may be hard to see, just enjoy the lovely planning with your friend

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

We got engaged after 6 years and then a month later Ben’s Best Man Rob who has been dating my bestie’s cousin for 3 years (thanks to us getting them together) asked if it would bother us if he proposed too and asked that if she says yes will Ben be best man and we were absolutely thrilled to bits. He explained they had both already spoken about wedding days and had already agreed that if they marry it will be eloping abroad.
we are happy for them and they have said they will wait until about a year after us so that we can all save to go away for it together as they want us to be there.

I understand you might feel different though. You have someone to share ideas with but this can also become a problem if people start to compare your ideas and your dresses and your budgets. It can be hard to share the spotlight if you worry that they don’t want to share it with you. I would advise taking different groups of people dress shopping etc and confer with each other the dresses you like and what you want for colour schemes and bridesmaids etc etc so you don’t end up with the exact same wedding.

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

I would probable be more concerned that your friend maybe rushing in to marrage just because she feels left out and she could be making a huge mistake if she dosent really know this person that well

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Be happy for her.

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Wow, YES you are being both selfish and stupid!
Just because she hasbt been with her partber aslong as you have it doesnt mean she is any less ready for marriage!

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

I would love someone to plan with as long as they didn’t steal my ideas 😂

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

I am desperate for my bffs boyfriend to propose so that we can plan together! Make the most of a wedding planning buddy x

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Sorry but you sound like a shitty friend for judging her for her partner proposing and her saying yes regardless of how long theyve known each other. You don't decide when people get engaged

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Selfish no, overly sensitive Yes! Life's not a competition. A good friend of mine married her husband after 6 weeks, and its their 14th anniversary this year

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Life is too short to get upset. Just be happy for your friend.

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

I would be grateful I didn’t have to bore her with wedding stuff and can do it together!

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

Yea

UKbride Member 11 Nov 2019

I’d only be pissed if your guest lists were very similar and she chose the same day and sent out invites before you

UKbride Member 12 Nov 2019

Unfortunately we are not privy to other peoples inner most feelings or thought.
No matter how close other peoples weddings are to yours YOUR DAY is still YOUR DAY

UKbride Member 12 Nov 2019

Yup. Muppet. That's she weird thing about weddings - other people can have them as well as you. So much so that I believe there's a whole industry sprung up around them...

UKbride Member 12 Nov 2019

we loved it the time we got married we had a lot of friends getting married around the same time and it was a lot of fun, and as a bride its great to talk to other brides about good and bad things, use it to your advantage.. ...work together etc

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