UK
UKbride Member Request 4 Nov 2019

Upset with friends

So we got married last month and it really was a perfect day, everything went smooth with no stress or issues. The main problem I am facing now is weird post wedding blues, mainly over the actions of my so called best friends. My MOH was amazing and cant be faulted but I had 4 other best friends there who didnt take any photos at all. I remember attending their weddings and having so many stunning photos which I use to frame or post at anniversaries etc. It makes me feel like they didnt really care about our special day and I didn't feel the love from them on the run up to our wedding, there just didnt seem to be any general excitement about it. Am I being an idiot?! My husband and I had the best day and the main thing is we love each other and got married for us but this started to bother me after attending my friends babys 1st birthday party, they all took photos and posted them on FB the next day, noone done that after our wedding. Why am I feeling like this?!

77 Comments
Laura Stewart
Laura Stewart 4 Nov 2019

Bless you, don’t over think it, maybe they were just super engaged on the day and pictures didn’t crossed their mine

If your day was perfect that’s all that matters😊

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Absolutely no one took photos at my wedding, and I am exactly like you in the sense of, I am always taking photos at other events etc. I was disappointed too but after asking a lot of the guests they said they were just having the best time and enjoying themselves that it didnt even cross their minds. Also, not everyone is the same, and we mighy love taking photos to look back on and frame for anniversaries etc, other people don't.
I know how you feel, but I honestly do not think they mean it in a malicious manner at all x

Sammy Eldridge
Sammy Eldridge 4 Nov 2019

It’s actually considered really rude to take photos at weddings nowadays. And most people ask guests not to. That’s what the professional photographer is for.
Did you have signs and a wedding hashtag? Did you actively encourage guests to take and share pics?
Weddings are much more formal than a kids birthday so yes I think you’re being silly.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

When I'm having a really good time taking photos is the last thing on my mind. I regret it after as I plan on taking loads but, these things happen. If I'm honest I'd be more pissed off if my friends sat on their phones all day/night.

Ruth Wheeler
Ruth Wheeler 4 Nov 2019

I went to a friend's wedding earlier in the year and was having too much fun to take pics.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Perhaps they were enjoying themselves? I wouldn't take it to heart

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Maybe they were too busy having a good time to take photos. The etiquette at weddings is so different, some have no photos until the reception, don't post photos until permission is granted etc. I wouldn't read too much into it at all. You had a great day, that's the important part x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Would you rather they were watching your wedding through a phone screen or actively participating? :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

We live in such a tech / social media world maybe they wanted to be there and share your day without being constrained to their phone - maybe they thought it was the photographers job to take professional photos and they would enjoy those later ?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

They were probably just in the moment and enjoying the day, I wouldn't take it personally. I've not even seen most of my bridesmaids since our wedding 18 months ago

Amy Rostron
Amy Rostron 4 Nov 2019

If they spent all day with their phones out it’d be ruder! It’s nice that they didn’t have their phones out even if they didn’t take photos.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

A baby’s birthday and a wedding are two totally different things. I took hardly any pictures at the last two weddings I was a bridesmaid at because I was taking the whole day in and enjoying myself.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Seriously??

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I think your being silly. You had a fab day, why ruin it will trivial matters

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Just be glad that they were too busy enjoying themselves to take photos.. I think if all people did was have their phones out a day posting tagging and instgramming my day I would think they were not having a good time...

Merl Sanchez
Merl Sanchez 4 Nov 2019

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I completely get it. I only had half of my guests turn up. Plus loads of other little things, that I'm now thinking of. It was a wonderful day, really was but there's just these niggly things xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I t married in 4 weeks and I would prefer no photos to be taken o would much prefer people to enjoy the day then be glued to their phones tagging themselves in pics or if me and hubby to be. That’s what the photographer is for! Social media causes so much toxicity .

Steph Allan
Steph Allan 4 Nov 2019

I was a bridesmaid at my fathers wedding on Saturday and the only pics I took were ones that my son took. I didn’t even get a pic of my son in his pageboy kilt, this isn’t because I didn’t care about the day, it was because I was enjoying being part of the day without having my phone in my hand all day. I wanted to witness the day through my eyes not my screen. The professional photographer was there to take pics for my dad and step mum, so their day was captured and I enjoyed the day just as much as they did xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I was a bridesmaid at 2 of my mates weddings, even though we was told no mobiles during the ceremony I took loads and they both loved them. I share them at times you’ve stated and they’re on my Facebook. Although in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter you learn who your friends are. I get it must be a little upsetting hun but think you married for you and you had an amazing day. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I don’t want anyone to take pictures on my day..that’s what I’m paying a photographer for..

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Did you have a wedding photographer? They probably didn't want to get caught with their phone in their hands all the time on professional photos!

Ruth Heggie
Ruth Heggie 4 Nov 2019

I would rather my bridesmaids enjoy my day with me, rather than have them taking pics... other guests surely tagged u in pics.x

Rebekah Parker
Rebekah Parker 4 Nov 2019

I think you're being a little over sensative

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Hardly anyone did with us either and we were kinda sad about it.. We had some beautiful professional photos back. I was more disappointed as once the day was done, I had barely anything to look back on for a few days.

Teresa Burns
Teresa Burns 4 Nov 2019

Lot of the time people are too busy enjoy themselves at weddings to remember to take photos x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Sounds to me like they were having such a blast they didn’t have chance to get their phones out. Don’t be disheartened, be proud that you distracted people from their devices

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I barely took any photos when I have been a bridesmaid. I’ve been living in the moment, been taking it all in and being there for the bride. Sure if she has asked me to snap something specific - I have done.
But just because I didn’t take hundreds of photos didn’t mean I wasn’t excited. It meant that I didn’t have my phone on me - because who needs your phone when your best friend has gotten married?
Also, research shows taking lots of photos or watching things through your phone while recording actually reduces your ability to recall the memory.

Also, surely you had a photographer? Those are the photos you will want to see/use. Not the wonky, badly lit, phone photos.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Tbh I wouldnt want people to be taking photos when they're meant to be doing the job of being a bridesmaid or if I'd spent money on professional photography

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I would rather my bridesmaids be present the whole day than worried about taking photos! That’s what a photographer is there for!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I was a bridesmaid at my brothers wedding and to be fair left my phone in the room. I chose to be in the moment enjoying it rather then constantly on my phone taking pictures. They had a professional to do that. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

At my wedding I'm banning phones so my photographer can get some nice ones of my friends and loved ones being in the moment, maybe they wanted to be there with you

Nicole Ainsworth
Nicole Ainsworth 4 Nov 2019

Hopefully they were all just in the moment enjoying the day :)
I was a bridesmaid for my cousins earlier this year and because we didn't have bridesmaid bags we just put our phones in normal handbags and gave them to our other halves whilst getting ready and for during the ceremony.
I took a few pictures in the evening once the photographer had gone home but for the most part we all just enjoyed the day and looked forward to the professional ones afterwards!
Although I am sad we didn't all get a few more photos together as my cousin only posted one official photo of her and the bridesmaids.

I guess for a bday party it's different as you'll constantly have your phone on you x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

It sounds like they had the best time
I try not to take too many photos at a wedding cause I'm aware they've hired a photographer
Some people ask for no photos to be taken at their weddings
Doesn't make me any less their friend just means I respect them and am enjoying the wedding that they spent thousands of pounds on ️
Also I would never post any pics until I was told I was allowed to by the bride and groom

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

We were the same. We got married in April this year and although we had a fantastic day we have hardly any pictures taken (only from our photographer). We were a little disappointed at the beginning but it made getting our professional photos a lot more exciting because we didnt know what to expect! Try not and hang up too much on it. As long as you and your partner had a great day thats all that really matters!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I think your being silly! Unless you directly asked them to take photos why should they? I specifically said NO PHOTOS, I wanted people to be in the moment not looking threw a screen. I think it’s very lovely that they spent there time watching your wedding and not on a phone/camera.
If photos mattered that much You should of saved a little longer and got a photographer, may sound a little harsh but that my opinion. X

Danielle Proctor
Danielle Proctor 4 Nov 2019

I'd be frigging pissed off if my bridesmaid were too busy worrying about taking photos then having a nice time xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

When I was at my brothers and my sisters and my best friends wedding recently I was having so much fun I forgot to take any photos. It just didn't occur to me! x

Rebecca Bradley
Rebecca Bradley 4 Nov 2019

i got married last weekend and also not many pics taken by family they were all enjoying themselves

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

When I have been a bridesmaid I didn’t even have my phone with me! And I didn’t assume people would take any at mine (which they didn’t!) I was more concerned that they were having a good time. I think it’s a better sign if people aren’t spending time taking photos

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Maybe they were so occupied with ensuring you enjoyed your day and that everything was perfect that they forgot to take photos? Photographers generally take the photos, I wouldn't take it personally xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Yes I think the blues are making you overthink this! I had very few photos apart from professional ones. The ones that I did get were great but it was only a small few. The bridesmaids didn’t have their phones purses etc with them through most of the wedding left them with family
This is why a lot of ppl leave cameras on the tables for guests

Jayne Harper
Jayne Harper 4 Nov 2019

I don’t think I took even 1 photo at my best friends wedding apart from the morning getting ready. My hubby did but my phone was in my handbag with him and I was to busy enjoying being part of her day.
She was bridesmaid at mine and I’m almost positive she didn’t take many either

Kathy Deane
Kathy Deane 4 Nov 2019

Hardly anybody took photographs at my wedding, they were too busy watching and having a good time.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I was bridesmaid at my best friend Daniella Adamson wedding in September and hardly took any photos as was having so much fun and just totally enjoying every moment! Maybe your bridesmaids were the same, so don’t be disheartened

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I would be happy they wanted to enjoy the day through their eyes and not through a lens! Means they weren’t bored enough to get their phones out!

Lisa Wood
Lisa Wood 4 Nov 2019

I’m doing this just to get the ones the photographer may miss... but I totally get where you’re coming from. But think of it positively, everyone was having such a good time they forgot to get their phones out xx

A member uploaded image

Robyn Gregg
Robyn Gregg 4 Nov 2019

I think you’re focusing too much on negative things. Plus you never know they maybe just had loads of fun and forgot to take photos. A baby’s 1st birthday party usually isn’t as exciting as a wedding so you can’t really compare the two. It’s a very small issue and you need to let it go

Deanna Penney
Deanna Penney 4 Nov 2019

I'd much rather have my guests enjoying themselves and being there in the moment than being glued to their phones all night taking pictures. The whole reason you hire a photographer is to take the pictures of your day not expecting your friends to do it. Also some people might think you wouldn't want pictures posted until you got your professional ones back. Very small issue to get upset about tbh.

Suzanne Hunton
Suzanne Hunton 4 Nov 2019

In short, yup you're being an idiot. I can't imagine you'd have been any happier if your friends had spent the day behind a phone screen, and you've already said it was the "perfect day", and you had a professional photographer. A year from now there'll be a handful of pictures you actually care about, and ultimately you were meant to be throwing a day for people to celebrate with you, not be your personal paparazzi. And did you actually use your words and *ask* them beforehand to take candid shots? If not, they're not mindreaders

Karen Wernham
Karen Wernham 4 Nov 2019

to be honest i got bored with all the photos they did of ours, it was like seeing the same ones time and time again the ones my dad took were brilliant and they are the only ones i kept so i wouldnt worry about it

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

If I’m enjoying myself and having a great time I’m one of those people that forgets their phone. And don’t take any photos. Xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I think they were probably enjoying the day and taking it all in! Nothing worse than seeing a bunch of people at a wedding with phones in their hands taking photos!! You’ll have the memories from your wedding forever and you are married now to the person of your dreams! I think you need to stop worrying about this! Xx

Toni Brennand
Toni Brennand 4 Nov 2019

I was at my mums wedding Friday and I didn’t take any pics until I was promoted to by the registrar, I also didn’t post it until my mum posted herself. I’m sure they were just enjoying themselves. Congratulations xx

Ashleigh Flack
Ashleigh Flack 4 Nov 2019

Your wedding day is for you and your other half enjoying with friends and family, not social media. You will have your photos of the day and you can remember how amazing it was. Social media shouldn't be a factor, don't spoil your day worrying about other people wondering why others have not posted about your wedding. I'm going to have disposable cameras on the tables at my wedding next year so I have the silly snap shots for me and my partner to laugh about after it's all done x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

It's a bit worrying that you deem them 'so - called best friends' because they haven't posted photos from the day on social media. You say you and your husband had the best day, so that should be enough. It doesn't mean your friends don't care about you. A good experience shouldn't be judged by the social media platform response it creates, but perhaps that is what was expected.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Not many people took snaps at wedding either, and I'm glad of that. It means they were too busy having a great time to take their phones out.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I personally wouldn’t be happy if people had posted about my wedding before I had!!!! Maybe they are such good friends that they didn’t feel it was their event to post about??? Weddings are far more special events than some others so be grateful they didn’t share????!!!

Lauren Freeman
Lauren Freeman 4 Nov 2019

I'm hoping my guests will be too busy enjoying the party and not fiddling about with their phones...

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

I think it would be odd if your bridesmaids had their phones out all the time snapping pix- that's why you have a photographer to ensure you end up with lovely memories. I've been bmaid a few times now and I haven't ever had a clutch or anywhere handy where I could keep a phone on me to take pics. We get married next year and I absolutely dont expect the wedding party to be taking photos, I want them to be enjoying themselves! I'm sorry this is playing on your mind, if you can, try asking if they took any extras? Most people are happy to share what they have

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Nov 2019

Did you want your wedding to be a social media issue or a day for you and your now husband. Post wedding blues are a true thing, but try to focus on the fact you had a fab day. If people weren't glued to their phones they were having a great time. Isn't that what you wanted? If you wanted guest photos it might have been an idea to state this. I recently attended a wedding where the couple set up a list of volunteer guests to video parts of the wedding with hired camcorders rather than pay for a videographer. Brilliant idea, wish I'd done the same!

Jill Monaghan
Jill Monaghan 4 Nov 2019

I've booked a photo booth for the evening so I can get some fun snaps.
Don't over think, you had a great day that's the main thing and they all turned up! That's what I'm stressing about x

Rachel Nokes
Rachel Nokes 4 Nov 2019

I took no pictures at my sisters wedding which I did regret afterwards as I had to just steal everyone else's....but I was too busy enjoying myself, dancing, chatting to all the guests, helping my sister go to the bathroom 🙈 and all sorts....
I would take it more as a compliment than an insult as they were enjoying the day so much 😍

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2019

Instead of being on their phones your true friends were fully into your special time concentrating on listening to and watching the ceremony and enjoying the whole event.
Facebook posts are not what make a good friend or a happy memory.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2019

I hardly take photos at weddings and I absolutely adore them, usually because;
1. I refuse to have my phone out during a ceremony, if a bride pays through the nose for professional photo's, I don't wanna be the turd watching it through my phone and ruining her pics with technology that will be dated in a year or 2.
And 2, I just enjoy them so much I barely look near my phone someone on their phone all day isn't enjoying themselves.

Being present is most important! Physically and mentally congratulations on your marriage!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2019

I find i get lost in the day at weddings myself n dont think of lifting my fone, end of day thats why u spend money on a photographer

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2019

Maybe they were enjoying the day instead of on their phones all day! Sure it's the photographers job not your friends unless you told them too

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2019

Beautiful steph thank you how you said this made me emotional

Charlotte Nunn
Charlotte Nunn 6 Nov 2019

Find some nice pics of you and your friends at your wedding and share them with them, so when your anniversary comes around they will be able to celebrate it on social media as you hoped. This way it also just looks like you want them to have a memory of your wedding and how you loved them for the support they gave you, but also provides them with a picture for when your anniversary comes around. I’m sure there was no malicious intent behind the lack of pics. It was probably a case of being caught up in the moment and remembering when it was too late. I’m sure they love you and were happy to be a part of your special day. Congratulations as well on your wedding x

Shakira Badwal
Shakira Badwal 6 Nov 2019

I think that they were probably enjoying there selves too much. I've been to certain events in the past and afterwards I think oh I didn't take any photos, but that was because I forgot and was having to much fun x

Sammii Nash
Sammii Nash 6 Nov 2019

We hardly have any guests that have photos from our wedding on Sunday but that’s because everyone was having such an amazing time they forgot! Which I much prefer

Natasha Finn
Natasha Finn 6 Nov 2019

It may be a case of them just having a good time and not stopping to take their phones out every 5 mins don’t take it too personally xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2019

Maybe they wanted to enjoy the day with you rather than having their phones in their hands, that’s the photographers job

Abi Owen
Abi Owen 6 Nov 2019

I felt very similar... It took almost a year to stop feeling sad because its all over now, but we had the best day!

We had next to no photos from our guests and I too was a little gutted but found out that it was because they all enjoyed the day so much they forgot about their phones!
In the end I realised its a compliment that our guests enjoyed our day as much as us! X

Emily Catling
Emily Catling 6 Nov 2019

A baby’s birthday and a wedding are very different things.
This is quite shallow tbh. The wedding is about you and your husband, not about your friends showing off your day.
We requested no photos as we wanted people to actually enjoy the day and you have a photographer to take photos for you, it’s not your friends job x

Michaela Sharp
Michaela Sharp 16 Nov 2019

Would you be even more annoyed if they were on their phones all day?

Becky Mitchinson
Becky Mitchinson 10 Feb 2020

I wouldn't worry if you enjoyed the day then just focus on that xx just enjoy your married life xx

Comment

Before we add your comment, please: log in to an existing UKbride account or join UKbride
Why Join?