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UKbride Member Request 29 Mar 2019

I am in the early stages of planning my wedding, although I am really...

I am in the early stages of planning my wedding, although I am really excited about the whole thing I can't help but feel very alone. I am super close to my mother, we are inseparable but she doesn't like my fiance at all, she doesn't really see the point in getting married in general anyway. My partner and i have been together 10 years, we have 2 children and this would just be the cherry on top. I would love to have my mum help and just be able to talk to her about it but I just can't. I'm only having one bridesmaid which happens to be my cousin as I don't have many friends, (not close enough to be bridesmaids anyway) but she lives the other end of the country so I just feel like I am all alone and missing out on the whole wedding buzz with females around me to get excited about it. Obviously me and my finace talk about it but when it comes down to certain things, it would just be nice to have some girls around me. I just don't know what to do. Is it normal to feel lonely whilst planning a wedding?

20 Comments
Joanna Palmer
Joanna Palmer 1 Apr 2019

I don't have many people I talk about the wedding with. If you ever want to chat feel free to message me. I'm still sorting things and I'm getting married in 7 weeks!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

At the end of the day it should all come down to how YOU want things to be done anyway , anything else is a bonus. Couldn’t you tell Mum how you feel, I’m sure she would act differently if she knew how much it means to you to have her involved xx Hope all goes well on the day xxx

Katie Jayne
Katie Jayne 1 Apr 2019

Join the group DIY brides it’s brilliant and helps boost morals.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

I felt pretty lonely despite having lots of people around to help so would say it is normal but stressful. It’s a lot of effort to plan a wedding especially when you are being a mommy. See if there are any local groups? How old are your kids? Could go to mother and baby/ child groups etc and see if you can make some friends ? Or local coffee mornings for mums? Even if they don’t help just chatting to people about the wedding will help. I’m sorry I can’t help on the mother front, but it’s your happiness and your day and she should really put on a happy face and support your decision x

Tracy Barron
Tracy Barron 1 Apr 2019

Hi there, I'm also in the early stages of planning my wedding. It's a stressful time anyway I've found but I can't imagine doing it all on my own. I'm sad for you really. However the positives are you have your fiance and 2 children, more than some people have. It's your mother's loss not to be involved so forget about trying to do that. You shouldn't have to force her. I'm more than happy to hear from you, bounce ideas of me anytime, send me pictures etc. Just friend request me and we can do it together. I'm sure like Joanne Joanna PalmerPalmer kindly offered there are lots of lovely ladies out there willing to get you all excited and help you with all your planning and who knows you may make some lovely new friends along the way. Have a good day. x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

I (and my Fiance) did a our planning, with my Sister in Law helping decorate my shoes & make our Cupcake Tower. :-)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

I totally sympathise. It can be lonely at times whether you have people around you or not, if no-one is available to share it. Help is out there if you need practical guidance but as others have said go to parent groups, talk to the friends you have, look at other Facebook groups. Share here, we're here for you. Good luck x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

Try an app called Mush. You can meet parents with children of similar ages, some that may be new to the area and looking to make friends. I know it's not wedding related directly but I met someone on there and we are now really close and she Wasn't even Bridesmaid at my wedding! 🤗 don't forget though you can look at it in a way that at least you don't have loads of opinions being forced on you and end up with a type of wedding you don't want! it's a pretty stressful time but try to enjoy it because the day comes and goes so quickly and you'll soon wish you could do it all again!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

I think this is always the case, I havent been able to get super excited with many people as I am on my own although I do have a few people I can get a buzz from and update. Speak to your mum and explain you feel like you are missing out on a right of passage she may put her feelings about your fiance aside

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

Just ask your mum about anything, as if nothings up.. obv she wont be proactive but you talk to her about it..I'm sure she won't go I'm not helping I don't like him..

Kayleigh Burton
Kayleigh Burton 1 Apr 2019

You don't know me but I am in the early stages of planning my wedding too, I am just enthusiastic about it all without anyone giving me their input. If you need someone to gush over wedding dresses with I am here for moral support. Hopefully your mum might come around but if you need an ear feel free to message me. Happy planning xx

Karen King
Karen King 1 Apr 2019

Hi , i understand where your coming from , i get married in 4 weeks, i have no one to discuss things with ,my best and only friend seems to dissapear or let me down with appointments my daughter is busy working, im not even gonna have a hen party, it would just be people i know but not anyone that contacts me , i am just looking forward to the day x

Lianne Harris
Lianne Harris 1 Apr 2019

My family hate my fiancé and I’m in the early stages of planning my wedding so I definitely know how you feel, here if you want to discuss anything x

Sarah-louise Neilan
Sarah-louise Neilan 1 Apr 2019

My mother hates my fiancé but know what it doesn't bother me much she isn't invited because I hate her so I don't know how that feels and before anyone thinks this is childish there's so much more that goes on behind closed doors

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

I have done all mine on my own and made everything myself here to talk if you need to my wedding is in August this year x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

Im in the same boat. I have felt all alone while planning my wedding my.h2b has been a help but not the same. I think without the girlie support and chats bouncy ideas of it doesnt feel the same in parts. I feel like im missing out esp when I go out and see groups of women gushing and talking weddings with the bride to be.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Apr 2019

I'm so sorry you feel this way hun, it's so awful when you feel alone especially if you have seen other peoples wedding and them having people close to them getting excited, I felt a little like this after seeing my sisters friends rally round for her. Thankfully I had my sister and family that were excited for us. If you want to share ideas or just talk rant whatever you need please please please feel free to message me. I LOVE talking weddings and hearing other peoples ideas ️️ xxxxxxz

Claire Tandy
Claire Tandy 1 Apr 2019

I think you should tell your mum everything you have just said above. If you are that close, surely she will make the effort to be involved and enthusiastic about your day? I would hope so anyway xxxx

Rachael Watkinson
Rachael Watkinson 1 Apr 2019

I get that. My mum lives 3 hours away although we do talk on the phone regularly. She and my fiance are not exactly in each others fan club. I only see my best friend now and then, we both work full time and she lives on the other side of the city. My fiance tries his best but he's getting sick of wedding talk. I get worried because i know things get booked up quickly and we are fast approaching the 12 month mark.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2019

I completely understand I feel very alone too. My mum and her partner are helping a lot but I don’t have many friends either. I have 1 friend I chose to be a bridesmaid but I don’t see her much anymore as she is having partner trouble. I have found that joining groups and talking to others about ideas on weddings is very helpful

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