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UKbride Member Request 25 Mar 2019

Buttonholes

I get married in a few days and certain members of my grooms family have said they expect to have buttonholes. We have arranged for buttonholes for the bestman, groomsmen, MIL and my mother. It is a small wedding of just over 40 people so I don’t think the rest of his family require buttonholes as it will make the pictures look uneven. What do I do?

69 Comments
Hayley Marden
Hayley Marden 25 Mar 2019

Explain to them with the budget you can't afford it but if they would like some give then the name of florist you are using and flowers for buttonholes. If they really want one they can pay themselves.

We have ordered buttonholes for my brothers, dad, best man, groom and his mums partner who is like a dad

Katie Pearson
Katie Pearson 26 Mar 2019

Tell them where the local florist is.

Just because someone expect doesn't mean they get it. I expect a cuppa and breakfast made for me every morning but I don't get it 😂

Emma-Louise Ferridge
Emma-Louise Ferridge 26 Mar 2019

We only did My Dad, Best Man Groom and our Son. Its up to you who gets one. Noone else. I would just say 'I am sorry, they are already ordered, and he have only chosen direct wedding party to have them'.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Well not everyone needs one.... tell them where the florist is....

Adele Peebles
Adele Peebles 26 Mar 2019

I thought it was just for the wedding party not the whole wedding guests ?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Unless they ask you directly before the day I wouldn’t say anything, they’ll soon find out on the day they haven’t got one and surely they’re not going to bother you with something so small when you’re all getting ready

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I thought it was just the wedding party who got them? Give them the name & address of you florist & send them to it they can pay for their own xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I would just say, I’m sorry but only the bridal party will be wearing button holes. End of story. It is your wedding day and you should do whatever YOU want to do. Don’t let people tell you they ‘expect’ anything! They don’t have the right to have any expectations of your day! X

Bethany Holland
Bethany Holland 26 Mar 2019

It’s your day you do as you please 😊

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

If it's not what you want don't do it, it's your wedding day. If they don't like it let them worry about that. I'm not sure it's a thing anymore that all the men are provided with. Button hole it's mainly just the bridal/grooms party it's all we provided. Enjoy your day forgot the people who expect they'll soon get over it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

If you’re paying then you only have to get for the wedding party, just tell them if they would like the same then they will have to pay and give them the florists name

Clare Watkins
Clare Watkins 26 Mar 2019

I thought only the bridal party were given them? Including the groomsmen. Never heard of that before!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

We did groom and his parents, my parents, grandad and best man. Top table only.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

If you do t want to tell them tell the groom to tell them

sharon finestone
sharon finestone 26 Mar 2019

Bridal party only. It’s isn’t mandatory that every person at a wedding has a buttonhole. Tell them no and don’t worry about them. Enjoy your day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

They shouldn’t expect anything it’s your wedding not everyone needs buttonholes if
They want one get some
Fake ones themselves or you can get fake ones and have a lovely wedding I’d really love to see the dress you have ? So keep us brides to be in the know xx

Amy Vigor-Green
Amy Vigor-Green 26 Mar 2019

Tell them you only want the bridal party to wear them. However if they insist on wearing one then they have to go get it themselves.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

We literally did me and husband as only people with flowers

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

It's your wedding. My sister provided a button hole for our brother who wasn't in the wedding and my partner as well but I certainly didn't expect it. It was nice that she did it, and I was surprised she did it. These family members need to get over themselves

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

People usually ask the colour of your buttonholes and go from there. It’s an older person thing and people don’t feel comfortable without them.

Alaska-Lily Morrison
Alaska-Lily Morrison 26 Mar 2019

Personally i would only want the bridal party/close family wearing button holes and not all the guests. We had our dads, groomsmen, groom, my grandad (as he gave me away) and iur mums had corsages. Xx

Rachael Watkinson
Rachael Watkinson 26 Mar 2019

It is not traditional for the entire family to have button holes. We are also having a small wedding and those with button holes will only be the same people we provide suits for; groom, best man, my brother (who is giving me away) and grooms dad.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

It used to be everyone wore a buttonhole to a wedding, but as a guest you bought your own, usually to match your outfit (I remember a grey rose with pink and green foliage for my Dads wedding - yes it was fake, they usually were in the 70s 80s and 90s) only very very rarely did the bride and groom provide buttonholes for everyone. If they did you knew you were at a fancy pants wedding and they were very rich! Nowadays it's usually only the bridal party and maybe immediate family that get them. Do what you want, don't feel pressure to do anything.

Michelle Goldsworthy
Michelle Goldsworthy 26 Mar 2019

I’m no bothering at all, groom said he didn’t want a flower strapped to him and it would be strange if others had it and he didn’t

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them if they want them they need to pay for them ... we’ve said anyone outside the groom party if they want one pays for one x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

You’re right, they don’t. If they want them they can buy them

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them to get their own!!!

Hannah Oates
Hannah Oates 26 Mar 2019

Tell them too bad
I've got them for groom, My dad, best man and my son.
If you're not in the 'wedding party' don't see why you need one?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I would only get buttonholes for the bridal party but it is customary for men to wear buttonholes as part of their wedding outfit even if not part of wedding party however I’d expect them to get them themselves. Have an amazing wedding day xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

They can expect all they want , buy for male bridal party only .

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them no... it's usually only the wedding party x

Becky Wilds
Becky Wilds 26 Mar 2019

But what if someone has offered to pay for them? My h2b mum has offered to pay for them. And she wants to have one for all men attending. X

Michelle Croxford
Michelle Croxford 26 Mar 2019

We had around the same number at our wedding and only the immediate bridal party had buttonholes / corsage. Our venue dresser who also did the flowers said it’s quite outdated to supply everyone with a button hole anyway , but expense definitely did play a part. As far as I know nobody was offended that they didn’t have a button hole...
Have a lovely day.xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I only had button holes for groom, best man, groomsman, fil and my mum (she walked me down the aisle) x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them if they want to wear one, they should make the effort to turn up wearing one

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I would remind them whose wedding it is

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I’d expect guests to wear buttonholes but I’d expect them to organise it themselves. The bridal party usually has them supplied by the bride and groom.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them you have no issue with them wearing their own buttonhole, but that they are not part of the wedding party so you won’t be providing them. Simple.

Laura Simmons
Laura Simmons 26 Mar 2019

If they want button holes send them along to the local florist

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

It's up to you what you do, we had blue button holes for bridal party and those who we had suits for (both dads, both brothers anf our son) and then did white button holes for all the rest of grandparents and parents x

Ruth Heggie
Ruth Heggie 26 Mar 2019

If they want botton holes then let them but there own... I've only bought for the bridal party too.x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

They can expect what they want but it's your wedding!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I explained that we would buy the mum's and dad's and groomsmen button holes but if any one else wanted one they would have to pay everyone was happy with this xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Do nothing. If they turn up and expect one then tough shit. Some people are so entitled....

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them you have arranged the florals and there’s isn’t enough time to amend the order, therefore there are no button holes. And give them the details of a few local florists.

Sarah Harris
Sarah Harris 26 Mar 2019

We only got them for our son who's ring bearer, groom, best man n my father who's giving me away.

Jenny Hirsh
Jenny Hirsh 26 Mar 2019

I don't even know what a buttonhole is! 😂😂

Tracy Battershill
Tracy Battershill 26 Mar 2019

I've only got button holes for close family carnt afford to buy for everyone

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Explain you are on budget and say where florist is

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

We had this to an extent, and we just explained that the immediate wedding party, witnesses and parents were the only ones getting them

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Bridal party only for buttonholes. Wish people on this page would stand up to their in-laws/own family and tell them the following: your opinion has been noted...but NO

Andrea Lawlor
Andrea Lawlor 26 Mar 2019

The only people I provided button holes for was my hubby, his groomsmen, my dad and my grandad. Nobody else wore one my my photos look wonderful with both families.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Say to late to change order. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I'd tell them, No way non this earth are you having a buttonhole, you are not part of the wedding party, so you don't need one. It's tough if they don't like it, Whos wedding is it anyway. Hope you have a good one. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them it's your wedding but thank you for the input

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them if they want them but them themselves. I know someone who when they got married their MIL told the florist the bride was paying for their corsage and several others on her side and to send bride the bill. Bride got bill and refused to pay it and told her where to send it to.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

You can make your down button holes. Get flowers from asda or tesco. Normally people buy their own

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

We provided button holes for groom, best man, my step dad, fil, and our granda figures as they were our witnesses. We also got my mum a wrist corsage as she was giving me away. So essentially just our bridal party. We had about 25 people at our wedding during the day so a small wedding too.

Kerry Jones
Kerry Jones 26 Mar 2019

Glad it’s not just me! Groooms family are getting their own. I didn’t want everyone having button holes as only inviting 21. But after being asked multiple times told them to do what they want

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Tell them to sort their own

Stephanie Simpson
Stephanie Simpson 26 Mar 2019

I don’t think you even need to justify your decision. Tell them it’s nice that they want one and they are welcome to arrange their own. End of.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

I was in exactly the same situation and lost. Ended up in argument over it with the groom, I was fuming that they would make that decision themselves and not consulted us. In the end they went for different flower/colour but it was super annoying. Talk to groom, see what he thinks but don't fall out over it. I had to get over it, it is a small thing in the grand scheme, but I'll never forget it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

We made flowers, for the bouquets, centrepieces, and buttonholes.
We only had 30 people at our wedding but made enough buttonholes to offer everyone one. Once we'd made probably close to 200 flowers for centrepieces/bouquets so a few more for a few buttonholes wasn't going to make much difference!
But if you don't want them wearing them, or haven't got the budget for extra that's fine and they shouldn't expect it from you. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Mar 2019

Ignore them. Do what you have planned.

Bethany Hardcastle
Bethany Hardcastle 27 Mar 2019

I understand my husband and his best man and dad had one also my dad had one and mother in law and my mum had one but his other brother didn't and neither did my siblings as it's only ment to be for them do it as you want if they don't like it tuff shit it's not about them it's yours and your partners day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Mar 2019

Don’t get me started on this. It’s your choice if they want a button hole they know where to jog on and buy one.

Hayley Wright-Mitchell
Hayley Wright-Mitchell 27 Mar 2019

Tell ‘em you can’t afford it. If they really want it, and if you don’t mind, they can pay for it themselves.. One thing I’ve learned during my wedding planning experience is that you have to be cut throat sometimes cos people forget who’s wedding it actually is. If you’re not contributing money, you have no say. Simple as.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Mar 2019

I only got Mother in law and father in law one, don’t do anything, stick with what you have done (but maybe get one for his dad and your dad)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Mar 2019

Usually u just pay for the bridal party, if your guests want that's up to them to provide their own.. I'm Scottish so it's usually kilt outfits with thistle or heather button holes so most men have their own anyway that they reuse... tell guest it's not necessary to have but if they want say who made yours and they can buy similar themselves.

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