I am in a slight predicament and I am not sure what to do. We got engaged a couple of years ago and have slowly been making preparations for our wedding abroad next year. A month after we were engaged I drunkenly asked a very good friend of mine to be my maid of honour. She was so happy, SO excited. She told everyone, including all her family. Although hen do wise we havent arranged anything yet; I am concerned because I am now regretting asking her. Ideally I would like to ask my cousin to be my maid of honour but I dont know if I can do that to my friend!! Something is really nagging at me to sort this out, but I wouldnt even know what to say.
Could you slip it into conversation like "ah yes my cousions my MOH " then she'll be like oh i thought I was, an you can say oh sorry I don't remember asking , here why don't you be ..... and you can do..... xx
Why don't you say you decided not to have a maid of honour and just have bridesmaids instead?? Saves hurting anyone's feelings :) x
Ask both x
I personally wouldn’t go back on what I’ve already done as will probably cause conflict.
Can you not have both your friend and cousin share the role? Have a made of honour and a chief bridesmaid maybe? Same role just a different name and make sure you speak to both parties and explain you want them to share the responsibilities if you wish to give them any.
Cheif bridesmaid and split the duties!
You can't just tell her you don't want her anymore. That's so cruel. This happened to my sister last year and it's really affected her a lot. I totally agree with other writers, just ask your cousin to be chief bridesmaid and give both girls various jobs to do.
You can have both and have them split the duties, come the day of the wedding they both have tasks to do to help out save one running around trying to help make sure everything is done they’d get it done twice as fast and less stress
Sometimes I wonder if a 5year old is asking these questions
There's no law against having 2 maid of honours, have them both!
You can't go back on it, she could be really hurt for a long time. Why not have two MOH? Say you thought they would work well together or something 😁
I had 2 MoH as I didn't wanna hurt one of their feelings but she was a waste of time to be honest let me down so many times and I'm not a bridezilla she let me down in things that she wanted to do off her own back, mainly my hen, we got married 29th Dec it was only end of Nov / beginning of Dec I found out she'd done nothing and then claimed I'd said my sis was arranging one. Which was crap because I found out after that a few had asked her about it and she said she was still planning but was a surprise. Once we found out, it was too late because most couldn't afford to do anything last min because of xmas. I just let it slide no point falling out and she was still MoH. My other MoH was so upset so her and another friend threw me a surprise 30th bday lunch 4 months after the wedding. I've never ever been surprised with anything so it was so lovely. Other friend sat and sulked because my mum bought the 2 who arranged it flowers. We're now no longer friends hehe
Stick to your word and have two. That’s not fair to upset her like that xxx
Just blame the hubby and say he wants to keep MOH and bridesmaids as family members only... simple...
That is a bit low to do that to a friend especially after she has told everyone.. I know your cousin is family you can always tell your cousin the situation and ask her to be chief bridesmaid.. The question if you break your friends heart can you live with out her in your life.. Cause this will cause a rip in your relationship
I would have both . You will break her heart if you drop her now. Both can still have equal/important roles. Xx
Have the cousin sign the register as your witness.
Why does every post for advice end up with people calling people names and having arguments.. Some people might not think this is a big deal but for them it is.. The girl needs advice not stupid fighting
Just have two maid of honour
Have 2 simple🤷
Can you not have a maid of honour and a matron of honour if one is married and other isnt?
If you can't tell her ... then have both. Besides that it's your n partners wedding day.
I couldn't choose between my twin sister and my cousin (who may as well be my twin sister!) so my sister is my MOH and my cousin is my Chief Bridesmaid :)
I had 2 people that I wanted as chief bridesmaid, so one got chief one is head bridesmaid 😂 working together on all the important tasks including the hen party. They're all bridesmaids at end of it the title doesn't matter its helping to make your day special that's important xx
Have a maid and matron of honour
Have them both
I think it would be too cruel to take that away from her. She seems so excited. I know I'd be very upset. I think if you tell her she isn't MoH anymore, you will lose a friend. Maybe tell your cousin about the situation, I'm sure she'll understand.
Just mix it up have a chief and a maid of honour ask them to plan the hen together
I couldn’t decide between of my most loyal best friends. One is maid of honour and one is chief. I decided the MOH would have that title as she’s the married one and I was told tradition was MOH was the married bridesmaid xx
You could always have both- if one is married have a matron and maid of honour- or if you decide not then maybe sit down with her , if she’s a true friend she will understand- all the best
I would definitely have both, they can bounce ideas off each other. There are so many brides complaining that bridesmaids aren't interest in the wedding and not helping out etc. Please look on the bright side, you have a girl whom you yourself called "a very good friend" really excited to be involved in your wedding. I'm sure there are lots of brides who would love to have someone like your friend who is excited to be part of your day. Have both, call one of them a bridesmaid or whatever you like. It's not worth upsetting a good friend and damaging a friendship for life x
Have both I did 😁
Have both of them. Iv got 2
I did something similar I got drunk and invited my cousin to my wedding but my dad doesn't talk to that side of the family and I'm regretting inviting her and I am hoping she won't show up cos if she does she will bring her mum and granny and things will kick off
Have joint MOH
You can have 2, i know someone who had 3 maid of honours xx
Have them both?
I think if you are having these doubts about her being MoH now I think you really should have thought more carefully about it at the time before you asked her. You can’t go back on it now as she seems to be so honoured to have been asked. Like others have said, have a MoH and a chief bridesmaid and let them decide between them what jobs they do for you, so it doesn’t cause a fall out. The last thing you want is an argument over your wedding day xx
Have two and Just explain to both girls they have different jobs to do , say you couldn't pick and want them both
Have 2 maid of honours
Have two.. men sometimes have two best men and people have more than one bridesmaid. It's your wedding, your choice. Then just tell your current MOH you're going to ask your cousin too as you're close and you'd like her to feel involved too... x
F**king hell some people on here are so sensitive and bitchy! Just make one Chief Bridesmaid and one Maid of Honor. Same role. Two different names. Everyone’s a winner. X
Couldn't there be two Maids of Honour? It's your wedding, there's no hard and fast rules, so surely it's personal to you what you do for your own wedding x x
Sorry, you asked her, drunk or not. You could've asked someone when you were sober that you would've preferred and you still might have ended up doubting whether or not it was a good idea later on (because not everybody makes a good bridesmaid no matter how close you are) and you wouldn't suddenly turn around and go back on it. As for maid of honour, I'm so over these posts about "who should be maid of honour" "my friend is offended she's not maid of honour even though she's a bridesmaid". My rule is NO MAID OF HONOURS!! Just makes things overcomplicated and weddings are getting ridiculous enough these days
P.S. why don't you want her as your MOH anyway?? You haven't given any reason that suggests she has let you down or doesn't deserve the job. You said yourself she's a very good friend?? Sounds like you need to just get over these doubts or you'll end up hurting what sounds like a close friendship
Maid of honour
Matron of honour
You can have more than 1!
Have 2 and that way it’s fair. It’s your wedding everyone can get involved
I agreehave 2,better than losing a friend
Have a maid of honour and a chief bridesmaid - similar roles but each has their own title and give them roles/responsibilities as you please?
Jennifer Philbin I'm here for the comments 😂
You could always have two, or make your cousin Matron of Honour.
HAVE THEM BOTH, like a maid of honour and
A ladie of honour like ?! Have them both share stuff responsibility’s hen do etc xx
Maid of honour and chief bridesmaid would be a great way around this!
Why not have a chef bridesmaid and a maid of honour? That way they both feel more involved and important
Have two and mention your cousin is arranging hen do.
Just have 2! No rules with weddings these days! Save upsetting anyone! Maybe have them in matching dresses but different to the other bridesmaids, would look pretty in pictures good luck cx
It's a year till the wedding, I'm sure she will plan something when the date is close. i didn't have a maid of honour just 4 bridesmaids that all had jobs. Takes the stress off the one person then. Xx
What’s the difference between bridesmaids and moh. I’m having 4 bridesmaids no moh they’re all just as special and important
Remove the title make everyone bridesmaid. It’s only who signs as your witness anyway
Do a joint thing ? Tbh I called everyone a bridesmaid.
I’m having a man and maid of honour as they’re my two best friends and I want them both up their with me. Have them both as Maid of honour, they could share the duties x
This day and age soooo many people work and organise weddings and everything that comes with it differently. I think you need to communicate fully with your bridesmaids and MOH as some people arrange their own hen do, others all the bridesmaids do it or just the MOH.
I’m attending a hen do next weekend the bride arranged. My hen do was arranged by all my bridesmaids with my MOH heading it. But you just need to let them know what you want and see if they’re happy too. I would always suggest you mention hen do’s soon after asking them so they know from the off. My husband didn’t even have a stag do as he was too busy with working weekends before the wedding. He wasn’t phased in the slightest.
If one is married you could have a matron of honour and a maid of honour