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UKbride Member Request 20 Mar 2019

Help!

Has anyone ever gotten so fed up with planning a wedding, the constant nagging off family and friends who disagree on what we want, and the feeling that this is no longer our wedding. My h2b had a really bad argument with his mum and now hes so fed up that he just wants to sign the certificate and spend the day together instead of having a meal and reception. Tbh I agree we should just elope but would we regret it?

70 Comments
Katy Robertson
Katy Robertson 20 Mar 2019

It’s your day, do whatever you two want to do.
We told people the date, time and venue and nothing else.
It’s our wedding so no one needs to have a say in anything!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Do whatever u want to do. On the day I had my bro tell everyone basically join in or bog off as some had caused major arguments. But I loved my day and those that joined in made it so special

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

You can always have a party after when you’re ready. We plan on registry office on our own and a party when we get back from honeymoon

Debbie Osborne
Debbie Osborne 20 Mar 2019

If YOU want a wedding..have it as YOU want...its no one elses business what you do or how you do it....it's NOT their day its yours...do what you want and if people get upset TOUGH!! They had their own wedding day now its YOUR turn...my fiance and i are doing what we want how we want...i know some people will find fault...but I DONT CARE...its our day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Me and my partner had 3 proposed wedding dates where it led to alot of friction and we realised (the hard way) that we were actually just pleasing everyone else. So we decided to do a simple ceremony at registry office with close family and friends as numbers were limited and a meal afterwards. Followed by a buffet and disco on evening which was an open invite, you need to do what you feel is right and if people don't like it it's their loss not yours

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I had this with my now mother in law. Was a nightmare they even threatened to not come over something so petty. Just remember its your day and about you. If your happier eloping then go for it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

If they don’t like it then don’t come, is the attitude I’ve got. If they can’t be happy for us on our day then they can piss off and miss out. we’re spending thousands of pounds on our day so it’s not going to be dictated to by anyone

sharon finestone
sharon finestone 20 Mar 2019

If people threaten to not come in order to get there own way then let them not come. Have your day and make your memories. I wish you both many happy years together.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

We did that cancelled wedding moved it forward just me my h2b and 2 witnesses.. yes you will regret it.. i want now what i didnt have then so wish i had just bangged thier heads together and done what we planned.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Remember it's yours and your partners day and you do what you both want. Be greatful people want to be apart of it and help, none of my family or friends are interested in helping me with mine, I don't have a clue where to start and no confidence looking at places or doing things myself or talking on the phone. Good luck tho.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

We have decided to make the arrangements then send out invite. Small registry office service then still undecided what to do after, only inviting very close friends and family, and any of those who don't like it can stay away, we just want a lovely day, and to have a wonderful time! Hope you get to have the wedding you want !!

Vanessa clarke
Vanessa clarke 20 Mar 2019

we got married in june, if we could change things we would! we invited all the family even the ones that don't bother really to stop any arguments and then there was family that said we definitely coming as asked for defo yes or no for food etc and y they didn't turn up! no message phone call to say wernt coming.after all the stress honestly don't listen to anyone go with what you both want and that's it. that's the only thing we regret is trying to make sure we included everyone we realise now it was are day no one eles. good luck with your special day x

Nicki Sheppard
Nicki Sheppard 20 Mar 2019

We eloped to Iceland, we took parents & siblings only & it was incredible. If you both want to elope just go for it, anyone who truly loves you will be happy for you & support your decision to have YOUR wedding YOUR way.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Ignore other people, it’s what the two of you want that matters (so long as you’re not being completely unreasonable about something ridiculous) if eloping is what will make you happy do it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

We got wed last Friday.. just had 2 witnesses,my eldest,his youngest.A meal after..we didn't want all the faff of the rest of it.We have both been married before and neither of us wanted all the stress that goes with it .We plan on having a open invite party in the summer..Regrets none..its your day not theres.!
You will never please every one so do what suits you both best

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I got married abroad to stop all the aggrivation - booked our flights & wedding date and told everyone the same - come or don't but we're getting married.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

My husband and I felt exactly the same so we got married on our own with just two witnesses and it was the best day ever. ️ we got to spend all day together, pleased ourselves and enjoyed every minute.
We still had the dress and the suit and the car and the cake and the photographer! Just no guests! It was brilliant ⭐️ xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Got married in Gretna nearly 2 years ago! Just the 2 of us, with witnesses and a photographer! Best thing we did! Still had a big dress, meal and cake but just on a much smaller scale and the way we wanted it!

Kayla Greenberg
Kayla Greenberg 20 Mar 2019

That’s why we’ve decided to get married abroad in Las Vegas 🙌 no stress, hassle or family drama!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Tell no one anything. So far I have picked a venue a date a photographer and a dj. Decided we are just having our kids and our brother and sister kids apart from that it's a childless wedding we can't afford it all. Can't wait to see everyone's face. It's my day my rules. Negativity can do one. My attitude is you don't like it don't come. You and your hubby do it your way x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Yep so we invited a handful of close people and got married at the registry office then went to the pub after for a few nibbles!

Keisha Hull
Keisha Hull 20 Mar 2019

No, at the end of the day the wedding is about the two of you coming together, not anyone else especially not family. If they genuinely care they would back off and let you do what you want. Even if they are helping you pay then they would be allowed a small amount of room for requests but it's still about the 2 of you. Do what makes you happy.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Danielle Mallabone what we spoke about.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

You won't regret it. You can still have the dress etc but it will be so much more special. My wedding day I did enjoy it but it's a blur. If it wasn't for the pictures I wouldn't remember it as well. My husband and I barely spent anytime together just enjoying it. We were tied to a schedule, photos, spending time with guests etc.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

My husband is terminally ill and we had planned the celebration but wanted to 'do the legal bit' quickly incase the worst happened. I kept thinking that we should invite more family to the ceremony later but we just went with 50 guests and no dj just a nice buffet and blessing ceremony. The 'official legal bit' was done in the registry office with my 2 daughters as witness and my son present. Both were beautiful days.

Bethonie Lewis
Bethonie Lewis 20 Mar 2019

It doesn’t matter what anybody else wants! It’s yours and your future husbands day. People who truly love you will want you to be happy!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Part of me will be glad when our wedding is over.
Fed up with trying to please others and keep everyone happy and a lot of people don’t even seem interested in it now.
We’ve got 4 months to go.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Plan everything between the two of you. Exactly how you want it to be and just send out the invites/save the dates then if anyone asks questions or wants a say all you have to do is say thank you but its all arranged. People tend to get carried away with weddings and want things there way even when its not them getting married. I see an invite to a wedding as a privalige someone wanting to share their special day with me.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Do what you want. It's your day!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Myself and my fiancé are planning to go away and get married just the two of us and have a reception when we get back. Basically because we want it to be our day and not about anyone else. No one else will be saying this or that wasn't right, they were not happy with this or that. Some may say that's selfish but it's our wedding not anyone else's. And we both have family that would want to get over involved witch would end up in arguments if we did it the traditional way. And if they don't accept the way we want it we'll that's fine it's not about them.

Gemma Bradley
Gemma Bradley 20 Mar 2019

I'm lucky nobody cares about what/how I have it

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I wish we had just stuck with eloping but we thought immediate family would be sad.
It’s just an absolute pain people moaning. It’s our bloody day!!!!!!!!!!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

It sounds like you and your partner have realised exactly what a wedding should be all about, just the 2 of you getting married. A lot of people put too much emphasis on having a big party to please everyone else!
We got married in Majorca 18 months ago and there were 9 of us, just close family. We didn't bother with a party when we came back, that would have been just as stressful as having a big wedding here.
We still got married in church, I had my dress, tiara and veil and 2 bridesmaids! We had the full wedding, holiday and honeymoon for 2 1/2 weeks for the same money as we would have spent on one day here. We had a fantastic time and I wouldn't change anything x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Go abroad and do it , we wished we had would have saved a lot of stress and money

Kylie Ore
Kylie Ore 20 Mar 2019

Its yours and your h2b day don't let anyone ruin your day its up to you both on what you want they don't like it then tuff.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I wish we had of done! Eventually our day was so different to what I’ve dreamt of since being a little girl I now regret it! I won’t even look through the photos as I hate them all! Only good thing to come of it was actually marrying my husband! We plan on recreating our wedding in summer but just US! And have a nice day dressed up to celebrate complete with photographer x

Tracy Barron
Tracy Barron 20 Mar 2019

I'm feeling the EXACT same just now. I'd love to get on a plane and just go do it together. But would it feel special? Would we regret it when our date comes around? It's such a huge expense but not grudging it of course. Just torn in both directions. Not easy is it. Good luck. xx

Emma Payne
Emma Payne 20 Mar 2019

Polly Alice Anne this sounds familiar! 😂😂

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Be strong. Don’t listen to anyone else. It’s nothing to do with them. It’s your day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Certainly I was glad for it to over my dad's side of the family didn't even come my nan&gramdad went after speeches and my sister who was my bridesmaid also went lol funney how it causes such trouble. Don't mind what anyone says ignore everyone like we did in the end do what you to are doing and don't involve anyone no more it's your day xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I didn't get fed up, but I did find it funny. When people kept asking me who was invited who's wearing what, blah blah blah.
I took care of bride stuff hubby took care of groom stuff. I got a few funny looks and snarky comments from bridezilla Control freaks who plan their day down to every detail then being delusional enough to believe the day will remain as planned.
I just wasn't bothered... Have the same marriage certificate as anyone else in the world.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

We havnt told everyone everything. It’s none of their business. We are paying for it ourselves , so first and last decision is ours

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I agree fuck everyone xxxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I didn’t let anyone make any decisions I had it all my way, if eloping causes less stress you won’t regret it x you’ll love it for whatever you make of it x tell everyone to butt out if you want the big day, elopemif you don’t x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Tell em to sod off. It's YOUR wedding. I planned my wedding on my own, made my own bouquets and table decorations. Thankfully, all three bridesmaids liked the dresses I chose and they wore their own style of nude coloured shoes and everyone was happy.

Rachel Doxey
Rachel Doxey 20 Mar 2019

Absolutely Not
I say go for it

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Not unusual at all. People who aren't paying for it can keep their opinions to themselves and anyone not actually getting married on the day don't get to dictate what you do on Your wedding day. Take a deep breath. Stop telling or listening to people who aren't paying for it. Compromise only when it fits for you both and if you really can't face it all then go to plan b. Do what you want and good luck x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

We had a small summer wedding on a Wednesday afternoon. 20 guests including parents, children, best friends and one family member to represent each family. It was perfect and at 6pm we drove off into the sunset, waved off by all our guests

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Honestly if I could do it over this is what I’d do, so much more stress is a wedding than there needs to be x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

So did we Hannah xx

Joanne Hayward
Joanne Hayward 20 Mar 2019

It's your day about the 2 of you, if the easiest way to achieve that is to elope and you're both happy with it, do it! You can always have a big party when you're back x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I feel stressed as I am sorting all of it out, my partner and help here and there but it's mainly been me and help from my bridesmaids and my mum. However we are creeping closer to the date and my list of things to do is growing bigger but all little things. On top of working full time, having a family and running a house it's taking it's tall on me. I ended up with an abscess on my tooth had it removed still in pain a week after. Only 1 week til hen party and 9 until the wedding 🤣

Nichola Latham
Nichola Latham 20 Mar 2019

I have it easy none of my friends or family have giving me any input/help. They’ve left me to it so get to do what I want without the hassle.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I got married with only my friends present no family! Been married 6 months still don't regret it. We weren't talking due to a fall out so why should I pay for them to come to my wedding...so I didnt

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Table plans are the stuff of rows - my son and his now wife got to Excel v.6 before they cracked it. It was great fun to watch x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

We got to this place. We ended up booking a small, intimate ceremony for the actual wedding and are just having a party now on the date that was booked for the wedding originally. Best thing we ever did as all the stress went away!

Charlotte Brown
Charlotte Brown 20 Mar 2019

Stop talking to anyone about your plans. An invitation can be accepted or declined

Roxanne Havord
Roxanne Havord 20 Mar 2019

Do it go run into the wind

Hayley Marden
Hayley Marden 20 Mar 2019

It's your day and you have to do what both are you happy with

Anne-marie Scarbrough
Anne-marie Scarbrough 20 Mar 2019

It's your day no one elses, if they love you they will be there to see you, and if they don't like someone you have invited...who cares it's not about them, they don't have to speak and the attention shouldn't be on them. I went to a wedding knowing there would be people there I wouldn't like because it mattered to the people who invited me 💖 xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

If you don’t tell people what you are doing then they will be no arguments..do what you want.its your day.xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2019

When people threaten not to attend just sweetly say ,thanks for letting us know .the look on their face is epic when they realise the manipulation didn't work.then they start trying to back peddle

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2019

We eloped but had always planned to, it wasn't a change of heart due to arguments etc. It was the perfect day for us, I don't regret it for a second.

Joanna Johnson
Joanna Johnson 21 Mar 2019

Completely understand where you are coming from. To the point where we have decided to have just us and parents. No dogs no babies no siblings no stress. Just a relaxed day that's just about the two of us.

Lucy Fulton
Lucy Fulton 21 Mar 2019

Sandra Fulton

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2019

It's your day do what you like fuck the rest of them if they don't like it tough

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Mar 2019

It's your wedding day hun and should be the happiest day of your life do what you think is best. Have a happy day

Lisa Evans
Lisa Evans 22 Mar 2019

I have the opposite. I have had zero input from anyone and have been left to do the whole thing by myself lol. Nobody knows what's going on except for me lmao

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Mar 2019

You find out who really has your best interest at heart when someone you love either dies, you have a baby, or you plan a wedding (Hatches, matches or dispatches). The hardest part of wedding planning, is dealing with people - the friends and family that cannot look beyond the end of their own noses so you have to figure out a way to work around that, or it will drive you crazy if you let it. My advice is to retain a forgiving heart because people will stun you, and those you least expect may even break your or your husbands heart. Some folk closest to my husband didn't even bother to buy him a card, the thoughtlessness beggars belief it really does - but always focus on the positive vibes from the folk who are happy for you, and go that extra mile to share your joy and want to help or give when they have little to give. We had kindnesses from people I never expected, and generosity from folk we didn't even invite. Their exemplary behaviour only serves to make me a better person when it comes to sharing the joy of someone elses milestone moments. Kindness breeds kindness.

Nicola Jennings
Nicola Jennings 26 Mar 2019

Not getting married until next year, but am so stressed already. My mother who has always not liked my HTB has argued with us both. Hubby to be is lovely btw they just clash. Im at the point where Im starting to sort invites and not sure if she is even coming. Feel like we should have just gone away but felt it wasn't fair to others.

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