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UKbride Member Request 19 Mar 2019

Postponing our Wedding

My fiancé and I got engaged last year. We have reserved a date for May 2020 and are just getting round to putting the deposit down, it has taken a while as I have been avoiding doing this. We have spoken and considered postponing our wedding until the same weekend in 2021. I am in treatment for an array of mental health issues at the moment and it’s taking a massive toll. Also my MoH is not in the UK until November this year, so I’ve had no encouragement/support to plan the wedding at all. I’m just wondering why/how any other brides got on with postponing their wedding? Did it work out better for you in the end having more time to plan it? How did people that (if) you had already told take to the news? Thank you very much.

25 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

If you are going to postpone do it before you put too much money down, we had to reschedule a couple of times and it proves to be very costly

Sarah Cunane
Sarah Cunane 20 Mar 2019

We persponed for a year. Everyone was great with it. Though no one had booked hotels etc. At the end of the day you have to do what is best for you

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Do what's best for you. We went the opposite way, bought it forward and a ceremony with just us and witnesses. No stress, no hassle, cost £120 so all the wedding money went on the house.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I think you need yo do what is best for you. If you feel that postponing it will allow you more breathing time and time to plan and recover your health then do it. It gives you more time to save too and spread the cost.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I postponed mine a year as would had a little pregnancy surprised and thought I’d rather wait a year and have more time to enjoy it rather than having a newborn on the day. I had booked loads but everyone was really udnerstanding and supportive. Do whatever you need to to enjoy your day as best as you can xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

You definitely need to do what's best for you. I had a complete mental health breakdown a few months after we got engaged but I found that planning the wedding, whilst infinitely more difficult because of the problems with my health, gave me something to focus on and every little thing felt like a huge achievement. I appreciate everyone is different, but that was my experience. If you are under a CPN maybe have a chat with them, don't let them tell you what to do but they might have some good ideas for planning a wedding whilst managing mental health. One thing I will say, and I don't mean this as negatively as it might sound, but often it's impossible to know when your mental health will improve, could be three months, could be three years. Feel free to message me if there's anything I can do, as I say I've been in your shoes and I know how hard it is.

Amber Neat
Amber Neat 20 Mar 2019

You haven't booked or paid for anything so now is the best time to do it

Amy Rostron
Amy Rostron 20 Mar 2019

We postponed ours from July 2018 to March 2019 and then cancelled it all together! We set the original date and didn’t get organised enough so changed in to March and then lost my mum and twins so decided not to bother!

Sarah Sharpe
Sarah Sharpe 20 Mar 2019

I suffer with mental health problems and found the stress of having lots of time to plan overwhelming. It consumed so much brain power and I couldn't really do anything. So moved us forward and got everything planned and done within a couple of months. Best thing I ever did. Good luck xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

Look after your own wellbeing first, whether you're married next year or in 10 years, the most important thing is you'll be married at some point. Take care of yourself

Donna Milner
Donna Milner 20 Mar 2019

Think of yourself and do what you want to do it’s your day I had to fetch mine forward a year due to family illness was stressful but did it and had a amazing day x

Tracy Barron
Tracy Barron 20 Mar 2019

I've heard so many brides regretting NOT taking the extra time to plan and enjoy the planning period more. I would also say after losing someone special to me. Life is so short. we never know what's around the corner either. Just grab your happiness with both hands and do what a right for you. xx

Christine Gordon
Christine Gordon 20 Mar 2019

I know what kind of position you are in as I am also in similar. My OH and I weren’t planning to get married for a couple of years yet but we’ve postponed booking the date as my mental health is first priority. I know I would have regretted booking it now as I don’t have the capacity to think about it all because there’s so much planning to do.

Francesca Nicholls
Francesca Nicholls 20 Mar 2019

I have postponed my wedding...twice. Getting married next year and I’m so glad I have postponed it. More time to save and make it more magical. I was off work for a while with depression following 2 miscarriages in less than a year so I wanted to be my best self in my wedding day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Mar 2019

I've postponed my wedding and then moved it back.... Then did the same again, I'm now getting married on the date I wanted and where I wanted.... Originally do what makes you happy... The whole thing will now cost under 2k (including extras and suits and dress etc)

Lyndsay McGowan
Lyndsay McGowan 20 Mar 2019

i got engaged in july and only booked my venue in feb and its not till may 2021. i feel a lot of pressure has been removed now that we have set a date. still plenty of time to plan so its not taking over my life xx

Emily Mash
Emily Mash 20 Mar 2019

Put you and your mental health first. Don’t worry about what anyone else says about it. If it’s best for you to postpone, then postpone. Best of luck x

Louise Newson
Louise Newson 20 Mar 2019

I hate planning, I'm no good at it! But some people lovevery organising! If it's stressing you out, do whatever it takes for you to breath a sigh of relief. Personally I found it easier to just get things done. We got engaged last year and are getting married in June. We set the budget made a to do list and ticked things off one by one. I'm hoping to have it all done a month before the wedding to allow for tweets! My point is, if when you think about postponing, you feel anxious, stick with it and step by step work your way through your to do list. If the idea of postponing makes you feel like a weight has been taken off do that. Don't worry about others, those who matte will be there and your wedding shouldn't make you Ill.xx

Hayley Marden
Hayley Marden 20 Mar 2019

Do what's best for you

Marie Jackson
Marie Jackson 20 Mar 2019

Booked wedding Oct 17 and a month later my partner became ill. He has just been diagnosed with lymphoma and is about to start aggressive chemo. We were booked for July this year and I haven't been able to get excited about it at all. We have now postponed it to summer 2020 and I feel a weight has been lifted. We can now focus on getting him better. The venue were fab, very supportive and it wasn't a problem at all. You must do what is right for you. Follow your gut instinct.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2019

My maid of honor came back to UK 2 weeks before my date, she helped me when she could and I couldn't have asked for more

Rachel Doxey
Rachel Doxey 21 Mar 2019

If you feel that postponing the wedding would work for you then go ahead , it’s definitely a good idea . However if you feel you want to get married in May then you can do that too. Just do what’s best for your mental health . Planning can be very stressful ,but you have lots of time so keep calm and try and enjoy it

Jan Haslam
Jan Haslam 21 Mar 2019

We had to postpone twice due to my health issues. It's what's best for you and h2b lovey. It's all about you both enjoying your magical day. It's difficult to postpone but it was the best thing for us to do, we had a magical and special day. Love and hugs darling xjx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2019

I have health issues but found that having a date to focus on helped me with everything that was needed to do. Started with a ‘to do’ list and my wonderful friend who was my matron of honour, also helped enormously too. If you can ask people to help you to do things, that’s a good idea. In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed it and was so proud of what I had achieved. We had a magical day, enjoyed by all. Do what is best for you. Have a fantastic day when it happens. Big hugs. X

helen bavister
helen bavister 23 Mar 2019

My bridesmaids are all children and my partner is a typical man so I’m mostly doing it all myself. We are having a small wedding with family and close friends but still all the planning

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