Hi I’m having a major phobia and anxiety worrying about the whole first dance thing, both my OH and myself do not like being centre of attention and the thought of having to dance whilst everyone watches is petrifying to me. Just wondered if anyone has any alternative ideas?
You don't have to do the first dance, I'm a wedding planner as well as a bride to be and a number of brides have the same fear and they just don't do one. No one can tell you how to run your day. You could as an alternative hire a dancer to either dance to your favourite song for you, give the strictly experience when the pros dance to the singers or even hire a dance teacher to teach everyone a few moves. If you wanted something in its place.
My partner and I were talking about this the other day also!
We're thinking of not having a first dance. If we do, we're thinking of asking our parents and wedding party to join us from the start so we're not the only ones up there lol x
Ahh my daughter is a dancer so maybe could get her and her dance friends to do a number, she also does musical theatre so have the option of having her sing too. Liking the idea of thinking out of the box and takes the fear of the first dance away, so glad others have opted out of it too x
We had the same anxiety. But I asked my BM and her boyf to join in after like 10seconds and then everyone else as well. X
Pick the right song. Friends of mine had a very slow VERY long song and spent ages wobbling in the middle of a big circle with everyone watching.
When I got married we prepped the groomsmen and bridesmaids to join the dancefloor after one verse so everyone followed them up and the pressure was off.
Just don't do one!
I'm doing the same - bridesmaids and partners will be prepped to join us after a little while so basically everyone can get their pics but we're not up there for too long on our own. My OH can slow dance, I cannot 😂
I was the same. We picked a song we loved and it was upbeat and when we were ‘dancing’ (mainly singing at one another) I forgot other people were there! X
Me and my husband were the same. Just ask your DJ or whoever is doing the music to announce after 30/40 seconds whatever length you wanna do or long enough for the photographer to get enough pictures to ask everyone to join you on the dance floor. That's what me and my husband did. Try not to worry to much it goes really fast and just concentrate on your husband and not on everyone watching you xx
Same here, we just wobbled around in a circle you could get some of your family members to join in shortly after starting- you don't have to do the whole thing on your own!
My husband and I also have being centre of attention. That dance was a chance to just be together and talk about our day lol. I didn't even notice anyone else. It turned out to be a wonderful part of our day and I was gutted no one videod it. However that being said if you are going to worry about it all day don't do it. We didn't have any speeches because we werent going to worry about that all day x x x
My partner wasn't keen on it so we are doing it for 1 minute together alone then asking other couples to join us so it's not so long on our own x
If u don't want to miss out on the first dance, then why don't you only dance alone for one verse and then have the rest of the guests invited to join? I felt the same but I just focused on my OH and tried to ignore everyone else.
If it's not important to you though don't do one lovely, it's your wedding it can be any way you want it to be xxxx
Ask the band/DJ to get everyone up to do the bride and groom okykoky.. great way to get everyone interacting and in the party mood X
You do not have to dance
It's your day guys do things what makes you both happy and carefree. Please do not feel the need you have to do anything. It can be any way you like and prefer ️
I was exactly the same. It was the part of the day I was actually dreading, along with standing in front of everyone to say my vows but to be honest when it came to it, that much had gone on through the day that I wasn’t as bad as I thought I would be. I got through the vows so surely I could get through the dance lol. But what we did do, was ask the DJ to announce for everyone to join us on the dance floor after about the first 15 seconds. It was great then
Don't have it, it's not compulsory. Or have a family dance and ask, in advance, some people to join you up there x
Could you not pick a song but request the DJ to ask all couples to join as you would like them all to enjoy the moment? that way it doesn't look like your trying to avoid but include everyone x
Skip it, have the whole wedding party or have everyone dance. It's your wedding, so it your way.
When it comes down to it it's not as nerve wracking as you expect. Me and my husband can't dance and he really didn't want to be centre of attention but we just picked a slow song and just clung on to each other swaying. Dunno how else to explain it lol. We just looked at each other and it forgot that everyone else was there. It was nice to have that moment together after such a hectic day and before the party started!
I was the exact same, so we aren’t having one now, no point worrying about it x
Just don't do it. It's your wedding. You make the rules
We just did shuffle side to side, thankfully the kids all jumped in x just tell the DJ guests are welcome to join in x
I was super nervous. So a bit into the song we had the kids come in, I danced with my son and my hubby danced with my daughter, then we danced together again while the kids danced together. Was sweet and took the focus off us. You could do it with parents or who ever really
While you are doing your first dance, it literally feels like it's just you and your new husband! It doesn't actually feel like you are being watched, it's as if you are in this bubble and nobody is watching!
We had some lessons as we were in the same boat, just meant we were not so worried on the day
I went to a wedding where they did their ‘first dance’ towards the end of the night. Then got everybody up with them mid way through and then everyone just stayed there for the last couple of songs of the night and that worked really well. That way they’d both had a drink and been dancing already and the groom in particular who was dreading it felt a lot more chilled about the whole thing xxx
We aren’t doing one. My fiancé can’t dance!!
We decided on a first dance song together and just included it in the DJ's play list. No one thought we had a first dance, we did, just no one realised :)
Random idea, why not ask the dj to call all the couples on the dance floor for a slow dance and then the bride and groom make their entrance by joining them just after the song starts. No one will expect it and it will be an amazing suprise for everyone too! 😘 xx
I had a list for everything and totally forgot about my first dance! My husband chose the song about 2 weeks before the wedding and it just seemed to slip my mind. However when the coordinator at the venue grabbed us to say it was time I remembered and just went out there and did it. There’s so much adrenaline (and a touch of alcohol) that you probably won’t be petrified anymore alternatively maybe ask if you could just start the song for 30 seconds then have the bridal party join you or all your guests?