Sorry for the rant but feeling so down about our wedding, Me and h2b wanted to get married abroad with our children and parents, but got told my mam couldn't fly after having a Brian hemrage 2 years ago, and it would be wrong not inviting my brother and sisters to our wedding. (1 sister i don't get on with at all) so we looked at Venues where we live and booked one, since booking the venue my mam has been abroad twice at the same place we'd said we'd love to get married at, and my sister I don't get on with has refused to come to our wedding as I won't invite her daughter who has been horrible towards me and my daughter, as a result now my dad is refusing to come because my sister won't come. Which has caused big argument with in the family. Now me and h2b just want what the wedding that we wanted in the first place a quite small one with our children and parents, which means cancelling the venue lossing the deposit. Don't know what to do just feel so down.
Do what make YOU happy! I’d elope to Vegas after all that carry on xx
Stuff the deposit just go abroad! Have the wedding you wanted. Don’t try to please others! Your sister you get along with and brother will come abroad if they want to be at your wedding xx
if your deposit wasnt huge then loose it so you have an enjoyable day to remember. put yourselfs first when planning now around everyone else their loss if they choose not to celebrate with you
Go abroad! Do what YOU guys want because it’s YOUR day and fingers crossed you won’t get another one. We got married abroad and said if people wanted to go they could if they couldn’t then do be it, we had the best day and I hope you do too!
After all that I'd be saying sod everyone else. The only people that count is you, hubby to be and the kids. Your mum started it all and she seems to be the one instigating things by saying this can't be done and those need invited and it's all stemmed from there. Ignore her and do what you want! Xxx
Was the deposit huge? Do u have any wedding insurance? I would cancel stuff the deposit and go abroad this is the one thing that is literally ALL about you and your h2b do what u want to make your day special and the way u want it. We spend all our time pleasing everyone else but our wedding is the one event we have said fuck it we are going to do what we want we are marrying abroad and having a party back home after. Xxx
Could you use the deposit on your local venue to just hold a party? And then do your vows when you elope?
I agree with others, if the deposit wasn’t that much in the grand scheme, cancel and do your own thing. I think families and friends can forget sometimes that it’s a day of celebrating a marriage and not just a “party”!
Bollox to everyone else, two people get married, only ones that matter ...for everyone else, hire a photographer! All the best for married life...
Have the wedding u want and sod the rest. Advertise the venue on Facebook or on this page perhaps someone will want it so u won't lose the deposit
One thing I've learned in the wedding planning process is that there are always people who will try to impress their own agenda on your plans. Have the wedding you want! If they don't like it and decide not to come out of spite, that's their choice :)
it's YOUR wedding and YOUR special day,don't spend all your time pandering to everyone else's "needs" and requirements...if they're not bothered to make the effort or feel they have a right to be overbearing with what they think should happen then dis-invite them and show them the door!
I would just go away with your children and get married.
This literally sucks to read... I know it’s a deposit but it is just money. Imagine going to the place abroad and having a wonderful time with you and your children and parents and not worrying about what everyone else wants to do... yore the one getting married to your wonderful husband to be. You are not marrying everyone else. For one please yourself and H2B and do what YOU want to do. Money comes and goes, but that memory stays for a life time. X
I'd say go abroad and have the wedding you want. People who want to be there, will make the effort and the choice is theirs to come or not. We got married in Majorca last year and I'm so glad we went abroad. There was only 9 of us, but it was perfect. Anyone else I know who has married abroad, have all said they don't regret it in any way. However I know other brides who have said they wished they'd gone away to get married to avoid a lot of stress. In your situation, it sounds like it would be easier for you both to elope. You'll still be just as married wether there are 2 of you, or 200 xx
Enjoy the small intimate wedding you always wanted abroad with family members who you want there don’t worry about the deposit you don’t want to not enjoy any part of your special day xx
do what you and your fiance want the day is about you 2 no one else if certain family don't want to attend it's them that's losing out.
At the end of the day it’s both yours and h2b day. You do what you want, if you’re spending all the money you need to enjoy it and remember it for good reasons. If people don’t want to come it’s their choice as long as the 2 of you and your kids are there that’s the main thing xx
Go abroad and just have your children. Parents and siblings are more trouble than they're worth. Have the wedding you want not what everyone else wants you to have.
Just cancel and lose the money and do what you wanted to do in the first place.I'm sorry your family are making this hard for you
Do what YOU want... not everyone else. If you want to marry abroad to keep it small and intimate, then that's what you should do. So a few peoples noses might be put out of place for a while but better that than they ruin your special day. Family and friends have to remember that it is about you... the two people that are getting married... because they love each other... not to please everyone. Yes it's nice to have a big party but you could also have that when you return. Good luck and go with your heart.
Could you not use venue for after wedding party xx. Get married abroad and enjoy your day with just your closest xx
Take it from somebody with experience.... write off the deposit, chalk it up to experience & go have the private wedding YOU want!!!
I wanted something really small & intimate, but so many people bitched & moaned about not being invited that we ended up putting on this huge party, spent thousands, put food out for 120 people...... half didn’t show up. HALF!!!!! We had 2 or 3 calls & texts the day before with last minute cancellations due to illness & emergencies which were understandable. But Half of our so-called friends and family who had rsvp’d just didn’t show up on the day without a word... and 2 months later most of them still haven’t bothered to get in touch with any kind of apology or explanation.
Honestly wish we hadn’t bothered, it completely tainted the memory of our special day. But we certainly learned who our true friends were! Xx
Please do what makes YOU guys happy not everyone else. Money comes and goes but a memory of the wedding you chose lasts a lifetime
Go aboard,stuff everyone else. It’s yours and your h2b’s day. If they don’t like it tell them to sod off xx
Some venues will give the deposit back if they can backfill the date so it’s always worth asking. Worse case scenario you lose the deposit and have the wedding you’ve always hoped for instead x
If there is one thing I learnt AFTER my wedding, it was that I should have insisted on what I/we wanted and we shouldn’t have tried to please others. Lose the deposit, go abroad with the people you want to go with and have the celebration YOU want. If some don’t attend, don’t sweat it - seriously, don’t. You won’t regret it, believe me. However, you might regret doing it ‘their way’ and honestly, it isn’t worth it. Have the day you both want, stuff the rest.
Go abroad for your day -we only had 11 guests and it was perfect do what YOU want to do and have your perfect day too !
Family is what you make it...you, your husband to be and your children are your new family. Take a few close friends with you and have a brilliant day. I wish I hadnt of stressed so much over other people. Its YOUR day, do what makes you both happy and follow your heart. You only have one day so make it the best you possibly can xx
Do what you want to do its your day and dont be talked out of it you cant plsase everyone. Good luck x
Wow...It's all going on isn't it? Do what you want along with your other half. People fall out, change alliances etc but it's not your place to cater for everyone and their idiosyncrasies!! Do you think anyone else planned their big day thinking
" hmmmm what will everybody else like?" No they never. EVER! Your wedding, your day, your money paying for it. X
You will have a better day losing the deposits and having the wedding you originally wanted.
If your sister dad or mam don't want to go the sod them... you do what you and your h2b want to do f the rest of them xx
Could you try and re-sell your booking? Recoup some of the deposit back. Then just go ahead and book to marry abroad.
I know to hurts to lose the deposit.....but it's likely to hurt more having a day tgat isn't what your heart dreamed of.......its your day you deserve to have exactly what you want.
It’s your wedding you choose! We have fallen out with my h2b parents and decided to cancel, found a different venue and get married earlier because we don’t want them there. Although they never took interested in our wedding at all so I don’t think the even remember the date or venue we originally was gonna get married at anyway.. as they said to people they didn’t know anything and it wasn’t anything to do with them apparently😂😂 funny enough the venue we’ve chosen is so much better than the first and I did lose £2k because of it but it felt so right and I don’t care about anyone else tbf! As long as you have at least 2 witnesses it doesn’t matter, absolutely go for it! You’d regret it otherwise x
If your family can’t get along for you and your h2b to see you get married are they really family? My h2b mum said to me if we were to invite his brothers she weren’t coming to begin with but we’ve said we don’t care. If they decide to apologise to us for everything they’ve done before we get married (unlikely) they can come to the night do only and she has to put up with his brothers being there or she’s not welcome x
After getting married this September and trying to please everyone my advice to you is cancel your venue and book where you wanted to get married anyway. If people want to come then they will and even if you keep your wedding here you will end up upsetting someone anyway. Everybody seems to think they are the most important people to consider in wedding plans but it’s the bride and groom and what they want that’s important. Hope you have a fabulous time whatever you decide.xx
As long as your h2b still wants to come to the wedding you're grand.
Hard as it is sod the lot of them and have the wedding that makes you happy.
Don't start the first day of your marriage miserable. Good luck
go abroad and do what you want... your day and nobody else's.
It's your day do what makes u happy If that means getting married abroad go ahead and do x
If you can afford to, lose her deposit and do what makes your heart happy. And your h2b and kids. No one else x
We booked a big wedding at home and realised we didn't want it amd it was really for everyone else x we cancelled it and booked to go abroad. We got married in Rome in July and invited 10 people to the wedding and told everyone else we were keeping it only to our very closest family. We had a party when we came home and even then I was being pestered to make it another wedding and to do what other people wanted. We put our foot down and ended up saving money and getting married 18months earlier than planned and it was the best decision ever good luck and just remember it's your wedding and no one else's xx
I got married abroad. You can’t please everyone book what makes you happy.
If you can afford to then cancel and do what you both want! It's one day that is for the both of you and you should not look back at it with regrets! It's your day no one elses!
Stop trying to plan your wedding to please other people. It’s the one day of your life to be selfish. Do what you want to do and you won’t have any regrets x
Stuff it! Do what you want to do. If you’re both in agreement get and book it
Cancel the venue, go abroad, take your kids with you and enjoy your day.
Go get married it’s you and your husband to be day no ones else’s if they don’t come there lose I’m getting married next year and none of my family will travel to where I am getting married and I’m like ok not changing it for no one it’s our day
We got married abroad even though I initially wanted a wedding in the UK and it was the best decision we made.
We got a holiday out of it too, invited close friends and family and had a fantastic wedding and 2 week holiday. Most importantly we got to spend it with those important to us.
No regrets, do what you want as it’s your special day.
Good luck x
Cancel the venue! Do the wedding you want! U will only regret it in the end! X
Go abroad hun... you can never please everyone. You probably won’t even notice losing your deposit as getting married abroad will most likely work out a hell of a lot cheaper than getting married here. I’m getting married in Cyprus next year.,, my Mam and dad weren’t keen on the idea but have eventually accepted it. Go with what you want and stuff everyone else. It’s your day xx
Stuff the deposit & get married the way you want. Family can be nice or shitty (ur stuck with em) if they never speak to you again, it's saved years of rows/bitching.. you have one life.. so live it.
don't worry about all the bitching, just do what you both want, its you and your husband 2 B's day, if the others don't go its their loss, and they will probs regret it later anyway, I hope you have a lovely wedding day whatever you choose to do xxx
Go abroad. It's your day. No one will thank you for staying here to do it. We wanted to go abroad and everyone guilt tripped us about it so had it here and regretted it. Weddings always seem an inconvenience to people. Do what you want. It's the one day you can be as selfish as hell xx
Keep the venue, dont invite the family so no arguments to ruin your day and honeymoon in the destination you thought about getting married in?? Dont let it get you down, its not worth it. The vows you are making to each other mean more than any of the rest of it xx
do what feels right even if you lose money its your day why don't you your h2b and children just go and maybe have a big party when you get back xx good luck
Thank you everyone for all your comments felling a bit better about our wedding after reading them, me and my h2b have decided to cancel the venue and have a small wedding with our children. The way we wanted to do in the first place. X
I would lose the deposit and go do what makes you both happy! The wedding is about the 2 of us not every Tom dick and Harry. We have had so many arguments since planning our wedding because people want there way with who they invite. We get married in 2 months wish we went abroad. Good luck