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UKbride Member Request 20 Jul 2018

Anyone have problems with people expecting you to pay for everything or go...

Anyone have problems with people expecting you to pay for everything or go out of your way?? There is accommodation at our venue, the MIL had a moan yesterday because she wants a room, but you can’t have room till after 3 (weddings at 1) and to have access earlier you have to pay extra. She wants me to pay the extra!! Or come into my room in the morning to get ready, I would put her in room with MOH and bridesmaid if it was just her, but it’s her partner too which makes it weird, and I’m kicking everyone out of my room while I’m getting ready. How do I resolve this??

23 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

She has to pay the extra herself!! Can’t imagine why she wouldn’t... surely she knows how much the wedding is costing you! I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask her to pay it x x

Belinda Ann Welbourne
Belinda Anne Bingley 23 Jul 2018

My mother has been exactly the same they can get into their rooms at 2pm ( we paid £700 to secure all rooms ) which is time of wedding and I can have mine from 11am she stamped her feet in a strop when I said she will just have to do as the rest of the guests and take her bags up after ceremony and will have to get ready at home same as everyone else
My wedding is in just under 8 weeks and I'm taking no nonsense sometimes I'm afraid got to just tell people NO x good luck x

Rachael Steele
Rachael Steele 23 Jul 2018

Can your h2b explain to his mom if she wants it in the morning then she needs to pay as it’s her choice to get ready there instead of at home, plus how can she expect your furniture fil to get ready in with you?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

Is there any reason that she can't just get ready at home? I would get your partner to explain that the rooms that you have are being used by you and the bridesmaids and that if she wants her room early that she is going to have to pay the extra xx

Janice Barker
Janice Barker 23 Jul 2018

Tell her and her partner to py the extra family and people who attend weddings except too much really!! Its not there day

Jannette Taylor
Jannette Taylor 23 Jul 2018

Tell her that if she wants it then she can pay the difference. I know it isn’t easy, you want to maintain a good relationship with her, but it’s better if you put your foot down now.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

Tell her if she wants to get ready at the venue then she's gunna have to pay for 2 nights. The night before and the night of the wedding then she'll have the room all day. It's not for you to pay at all x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

Tell her to wind her neck in

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

It’s her choice shouldn’t put you out on your wedding day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

Tell her if she wants in early that is her choice and she can cough up the money herself. As for getting ready in your room how big does she think the room is. You would be tripping over each other. Me being me would tell her it not a peep show and you fussy about who gets to see you in your undies and her partner is not high on your list.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

Most of our family have booked in to the hotel the night before and the night of the wedding for that exact reason. Their choice and their expense. Nobody has mentioned cost at all to us.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

Stay the night before so she has the room

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

I’ve had a few comments over the exact same thing. At the end of the day they are choosing to stay in the hotel, hotel rules are that you pay early check-in before 3, if they want it, they pay, I went through a phase of feeling guilty and worried about this but I’ve come to the conclusion that these are adults and they can problem solve their own difficulties. And besides, They could always try their luck and ask if there are any rooms available before 3pm and see what happens, I’ve done this at weddings and been lucky - other times the hotel have been kind enough to hold my luggage x

Caroline Larner
Caroline Larner 23 Jul 2018

Weddings seem to bring out the worst in family members with unreasonable demands and a lack of empathy/understanding for the couple. As far as I can tell she has two choices - pay the extra and check in early or get ready at home and check in as your pictures are being taken. It's not up to you to organise everyone else! Good luck.

Donna Barber
Donna Barber 23 Jul 2018

What would she do any other time! I wouldn’t pay for her, let her get ready at home then come or stay the night before! Grown woman for gods sake! She needs to get a grip

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

I'd give her the venues number and the name of your wedding coordinator and get her to resolve it herself.... you dont need the extra stress!!!!!
This is my second time round planning a wedding, I spent so much time bending over backwards trying to accomodate everyone else in my first wedding - I'm not doing it this time round. People should want to take stress away from you, not add to it!!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

Tell her to pay the extra herself or get ready at home and come to the venue ready

Helen Ferguson
Helen Ferguson 23 Jul 2018

If there are others with rooms, maybe they can just leave their bags & then at an appropriate time they can go & check in. Alternatively, you may find as the wedding is at the venue, they may allow an earlier check in

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

How can you resolve this? Simple- you don’t!
It’s not your problem to solve. Leave her to it. If she wants to pay extra for a room then she can, and if she doesn’t, then she will have to sort something out herself!!

Amy Carr
Amy Carr 23 Jul 2018

Tell her straight...this is how much it is take it or leave it and no you are not coming in my room. I think it's so cheeky! She's going to watch her son get married not have a holiday

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2018

All my family are staying the night before thank god really! They have all paid their own rooms as well! I just reserved the whole hotel xxx

Claire Newstead
Claire Newstead 23 Jul 2018

Tell her if she wants it she pays for it, you are already paying out enough. Put your foot down.

Dina Gregory
Dina Gregory 28 Jul 2018

tell her to pay the extra or do what other guests are doing. if its because of bags she has then im sure the hotel might have somewhere to store them or leave them at the back of the venue and take them up after or if someone has a car see if they would put them in there while the wedding goes ahead. x

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