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UKbride Member Request 10 Jun 2018

My mam won’t come to my wedding if I don’t invite her boyfriend who I...

My mam won’t come to my wedding if I don’t invite her boyfriend who I don’t get along with, am I wrong to feel angry about it all

32 Comments
Demi McGarry
Demi McGarry 10 Jun 2018

Of course you have every rightto feel angry. It's your wedding. Your mum should see that it's your choice who you invite xx

Bobbi Bainbridge
Bobbi Bainbridge 10 Jun 2018

It's your day but she's clearly just thinking about herself. If she loves you she'd respect what you want and remember it's about you and not her

Stacy Duffy
Stacy Duffy 10 Jun 2018

It’s your Wedding and your choice. Your mother may not agree or like your choices but she should respect them. She should put her own feelings to one side and stand by you not just because it’s your wedding but because she is your your Mother and that should count for something. If she can’t see that then maybe you will have to accept it and try to have the best day you possibly can and fingers crossed she sees the the bigger picture.

All the best m’love x

Senga Milroy
Senga Milroy 11 Jun 2018

Its your wedding if she won't accept you don't get along with her partner then its her loss on the day ! Either way she's spoiling your day if he goes or she doesn't ... Have a fantastic day chin up your marrying the man you love and that's what matters x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

It’s your day! Neither my parents or my sister bro in law or niece are coming after my sister caused issues at my engagement party! Their loss!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

It's shit of you mum to say that but I personally wouldn't invite someone and say their other half couldn't come. I would feel a bit annoyed if i was invited to a wedding and was told my fiance wasn't. it is your wedding and your mum should be there regardless but I do see her point.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

Not at all wrong for the way you feel, your mum should be helping and guiding you. I actually felt the same way, as my mother wasn't there for me.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

Try to enjoy the most of your wedding by leaving aside your anger. Invite your mums boyfriend. Besides it isYOUR DAY and you will not have time for him.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

Think how you would feel if your mum invited you somewhere but didn't invite your husband.Would you not feel a bit put out?And I doubt you'd ''accept it because it's what she wants''. If the feeling is mutual between you and this man then chances are he'll stay away anyway. But if he does attend,you don't have to spend time with him beyond saying thank you for attending,you can just move around to avoid him. If the alternative is that you fall out with your mum and she doesn't attend at all,then carry on being pig-headed and stubborn

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

Is a day of your mum's bf not worth a lifetime of your mum having brought you up? And is it worth risking a rift forever afterwards?
Believe me, a wedding is just a day. Relationships are there for life.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

Im in this boat, my mother will be invited but her partner wont be because of circumstances that include the wedding would become a bloodbath. She has also said though that if my father goes she wont go so im inviting her and getting my sister and aunty to make it very clear the invite is for her alone and it is up to her if she comes

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 11 Jun 2018

I would meet her halfway and let her invite him to the evening. That way he won’t be there at the most important part but it should smooths things over with your mum. If that’s not good enough then she has to decide whether he’s worth potentially losing her daughter x

Siobhan Brasier
Siobhan Brasier 11 Jun 2018

Can you imagine your mum not there? Because at the end of the day you have two choices - grin and bare it and invite both, or take the risk your mum may not come!

My mum died unexpectedly the day BEFORE my wedding, so in my opinion little petty things don’t matter because I would have killed to have my mum at mine!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

I’d tell her to do one, if she’s not paying for it she has absolutely no right to insist on anyone being there. I didn’t invite my mums boyfriend to my wedding, caused a few problems but my wedding, my choice. I’d love to know why most people nowadays seem to think weddings are about pleasing guests

Beth Collicott
Beth Collicott 11 Jun 2018

I wouldn't let me mum bring her long term (over 10 years) partner to my wedding (my first marriage many years ago!). She understood and came on her own. Your mum should respect your wishes.

Kathy Deane
Kathy Deane 11 Jun 2018

It's not a nice situation but don't cut your nose off to spite your face. You're only going to do this once... what will you regret more... not having your mum at your wedding or being nice to someone you don't really like to have a lovely day with your mum? X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

Your wedding.. your choice.. if ur mum wants to be an arsehole about it then that is her choice.. her bf must have done something awful for you not yo want him there.. if she cant understand that.. tough.. sorry to sound so harsh.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

its your wedding its up to you who goes your mother should know this and understand you and her boyfriend dont get on so why would he be at the wedding other than to cause trouble or make you un comfortable you stick to your guns if she doesnt go then its her loss and you know were you stand if she choose her boyfriend over her own daughter you dont need her in your life to cause you un happyness good luck

Syra Houlston
Syra Houlston 11 Jun 2018

Not wrong at all! It's your wedding you have who you want there .. obviously it's a shame your mum feels that way but its your big day not hers so if she can't accept that then you should take another look at the guests list babe ... be strong okay?! It's about you and your future husband nobody else

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

I'd love to be able to not invite my stepdad #mostmiserablecreatureiveevermet

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

I think it depends how long they have been together c

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

Who’s wedding is it? Outrageous! Your mum should understand you don’t get on so why want you to invite him. Why would he even want to be there? For all the people saying other wise because she’s your mum and bought you up ect ect. That is her daughter and she shouldn’t even think about giving her the I won’t come if he’s not invited speech. Also as a mother I would always put my child first. No matter what! I wouldn’t even be in a relationship with someone my kids didn’t like. It’s not like the old days. It’s your wedding and it’s for you to be surrounded by people you WANT there.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

If it was me I would invite the bf wether I liked him or not as I would want my mum there. I personally could not get married without my mum there.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Jun 2018

Nope your her daughter and you should come first.
Im going to invite my dad but not his partner as I really dislike her as does most of the family.to me family are more important on the whole than one person if he decided he wont come without her then thats his decision and regret.I will be gutted dont get me wrong but its our wedding and we dont want the day ruined by certain people that will cause rifts

Claire Newstead
Claire Newstead 11 Jun 2018

Your mother is being incredibly childish. You're her flipping child and she's doing this to you? Wow. I'd tell her not to bother...

Rebecca Liu
Rebecca Liu 12 Jun 2018

Entirely up to you. You'll either not notice he's there or not have time to feel sad your mum isn't, as you'll be in the moment and surrounded by friends and family who love you :) I was in the same situation and fell into the latter

Vanessa clarke
Vanessa clarke 12 Jun 2018

If that was my mum i would say it's her choice either comes on own or not at all its not about her and what she wants x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Jun 2018

No you are well in your rights to be angry. Its your day

Michaela Sharp
Michaela Sharp 15 Jun 2018

I think you have every right to feel angry! It's your big day and I certainly won't be inviting people I don't like to mine. Your mum should respect your wishes not go off in a sulk!

Helen Ferguson
Helen Ferguson 1 Jul 2018

It would reallyvdepend on who's paying the bill - if you & H2B are paying for everything then fair enough - if she & your father are paying then the invitations are from them, so you could then try & speak to her about it. It won't be easy, but good luck

Talia Hogan
Talia Hogan 19 Jul 2018

I just want to say thank you all for your advice.....me and my mam have never got along even when I was younger. She has a habit of giving me ultimatums to get her own way. And she never invited my other half to anything what we done as a family, I've had a long think and I'm just going to have the people who we love and care about at our wedding. All that matters is that my dad is there. Thank you all for the advice you all have been so helpful 😊and been so kind...love to you all xxxxxx

Nicola Boulton
Nicola Boulton 24 Jul 2018

you should have what you want on your special day your mum should respect this , hope it gets sorted x

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