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UKbride Member Request 5 Apr 2018

I suffered with an eating disorder throughout my teens, I'm now thankfully...

I suffered with an eating disorder throughout my teens, I'm now thankfully in recovery but I went from a very tiny 5.5st to a UK 14-16. I have panic attacks even thinking of dress fittings and measurings etc because while I am 'recovered' from the eating disorder, the massive change in my body is still something I'm struggling to deal with. This has affected my life for long enough and I don't want to sabotage my recovery by forcing myself to lose weight. Any advice?

21 Comments
Michaela Sharp
Michaela Sharp 6 Apr 2018

First of all a huge well done! Don't worry about trying on dresses the assistants have seen all shapes and sizes and will help pick out the perfect dress for you x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2018

Well done. I would probably mention it to the dress shop so the assistants can be helpful and supportive and not accidentally say the wrong thing x

Kate Rebecca
Kate Rebecca 7 Apr 2018

Could you see a doctor first? Then if you do decide to lose weight you will be supported my a professional rather than left to your own devices. I would say, however, that your fiancé is marrying you for the person you are, not the shape or size you are. There are beautiful dresses to suit everybody. You do not need to change yourself to fit a dress.

Katrina Anderson
Katrina Anderson 7 Apr 2018

Ignore the size on the dress label they are normally several sizes bigger than the actual dress size. My dress said 14 and I'm a 10/12. Just make sure the dress fits you and makes you feel comfortable. Try on lots of different styles to find the one which looks best on you.

Belinda Ann Welbourne
Belinda Anne Bingley 7 Apr 2018

Size 14 -16 is the average size of women in the UK
You've done amazing in your recovery embrace your curves I'm a 14 and I have a dress which enhances them the bridal shop was amazing and I can't wait to show off my va va voom on my wedding day
Your going to look beautiful xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2018

I don't see why everyone stresses themselves out trying to be as skinny as they can for their wedding day x I will be wearing a size 16 dress on my big day - and honestly that's ok x it's a beautiful dress and my partner loves me xx
Weddings are stressful enough without trying to diet and lose loads of weight - just be comfortable and happy on your day chick xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2018

Dress shops are really helpful and will find you the perfect gown that will suit your shape. I too don't have a great relationship with food as I used to be very skinny (through my bad relationship with food) I often compare myself to how I looked years ago, even though now I'm completely fine and healthy, I exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet I still have these thoughts in my head that I look awful. Anyway long story short when I went dress shopping I was so nervous as I heard wedding dresses are usually 2 sizes bigger and I knew hearing I was in a dress 2 sizes bigger than my actual size wouldn't sit well with me! But I can honestly say i didn't know the size of any dress I tried on and I don't know the size of my own dress as the shops I went into didn't say "here try on this it's a size 12/14/16etc" they just said "should we give this style a try it's a (name of designer)" then I either said yes or no to the style and then found my dream dress, when o found my dream dress and she was measuring me up for the designer she just took measurements on a sheet of paper and then that was it, I was too busy in my little bubble to care what size it was Dress shops want you to feel good and remember they see every single shape and size and know what looks good on a particular shape based on their own knowledge! Only advice you need for dress shopping is enjoy it, be honest about what you do and don't like about a dress and don't take too many people with you (oh and wear nude or white underwear ) well done on your recovery️!!!

Kayleigh E Alman
Kayleigh E Alman 7 Apr 2018

I’m a size 14-16 because I’ve put on so much weight from my first child. Went to a bridal shop and they made me feel so comfortable and they could see how body conscious I was but still were so helpful and thoughtful of me and helped me through it and when I tried that first dress on I felt so much better! It made me look like I had a better figure and it made me feel good about myself! Never ever worry about trying dresses on. Like a lady said they have seen many shapes and sizes and will still find the perfect dress for you x

Michelle Palmer
Michelle Palmer 7 Apr 2018

I don’t know the size of my dress. But I know it’s bigger then my actual size because that’s they way wedding dresses are made.

I went to wed2b and left my leggings and strappy top on. The lady helping me said that was fine, and once I got into a dress I took my top off. Honestly the dresses are that big and hard to put on... they are not looking at you!

Just tell the person you are nervous and they should respect it 🙂 xxx

Nicola Mooney
Nicola Mooney 7 Apr 2018

I know it's not the same one bit but in terms of dresses and sizes, I was worried because I'm really tall, with a little waist but im a 12-14 because of my hips/bottom... but im much smaller up top!. They can do all sorts to make you look great and alterations are easily done to make it perfect for the individual. Relax and enjoy you'll look amazing xxx will post pic in comments xxx

Sam Leckey
Sam Leckey 7 Apr 2018

There are lots of different dresses in lots of different sizes for you to try on. I was dreading going dress shopping but there wasn't a single dress I couldn't try on. Wedding dress sizes are completely messed up. My top half was a size 8 and bottom half a 16/18 and I'm normally a 14. Just don't worry about your size and you will know when you have found the right dress as you will feel amazing in it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2018

I had the same situation in that i had an eating disroder for years and even though i've recovered i found the first appointment i had difficult as it was quiet in the store therefore every dress i tried on there was staff all coming to look and i thought i was going to have a panic attack. After about 15 dresses they lnew there was more going on than me simply not liking a dress. The staff were amazing and so supportive. They only let me look at the dress once ot was all fastened and in plave so i could get the full effect. Any dress i didnt like i didnt go out in and they asked me what i didn't like about it and what i did. If i didnt like cos it made me body conscious they removed really similar styles from the rack so i didnt feel self-conscious or upset. They even worked an hour late and offered me an appointment before the store was open so i felt as comfortable as possible. They took everything that i said and knew of a dress they had that they thought would be perfect and it was! The best thing about it is it makes me feel good when i wear it. Even tho8gh i knew it was my dress I couldnt buy it there and then as i was still worried but called in the next morning and paid the deposit on it. I would suggest letting your consultant know as they come across this and can make your appointment much more enjoyable if they know what's going on. I went to Davids Bridal if it helps any Good luck xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2018

I don’t get the “I have to lose weight for my wedding “ thing .....

your fiancé fell in love with you as you were when you met
Your fiancé proposed because he loved you as you were on that day
Your fiancé will marry you because he loves you as you are on your wedding day

Every day he measures how much he loves you by how much his heart flutters NOT what the label says in your clothes ( cut them out they are meaningless ) or what the scales say ️

Eanna Roberts
Eanna Roberts 7 Apr 2018

I'm doing mine at home for similar reasons. I'm buying a few from JJS House (made to measure online) and inviting family round and making a day of it. I'm returning the ones I don't choose. I went to a dress shop a few months ago and it was a horrible experience.

Well done for the great recovery by the way!

Sammie Mulhearn
Sammie Mulhearn 7 Apr 2018

When you go for the fitting ask them to measure you and not tell you The figures ? If you’re happier not knowing and think that may trigger you then don’t give yourself the information. You don’t need to know the size or the measurements you just need to know you feel amazing in your dress!
Chin up. You have come so far and this is the fun bit.. pretending to be a princess and laughing at the dresses that don’t work...
good work gorgeous x

Lisa Reynolds
Lisa Reynolds 7 Apr 2018

Congratulations on beating the illness. If you are worried about being measured you could get a dress off the hanger. WED2B have a great range of dresses in loads of different styles that come in standard dress sizes. I found them really helpful, plus the dresses are very reasonably priced. x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2018

I was in the same situation as you! I put off dress shopping as the thought stressed me out! But I’ve got to say it wasn’t as bad as I thought at all! The ladies in the shops are lovely and fit all shapes everyday the downside to wedding dresses is most come very small and you have to buy a bigger size trust the ladies they will know what will suit you I loved my dress was everything I didn’t want ahah! Good luck and enjoy it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Apr 2018

Go to a shop that caters for all sizes, they will find you a dress that makes you feel beautiful!

Lauren Hayes
Lauren Hayes 7 Apr 2018

I’m in exactly the same situation hun! I’m putting off wedding dress shopping for this exact reason. You should be proud of how far you have come, you’ve done amazing to overcome that horrible time in your life. You’re beautiful the way you are and your husband to be definitely thinks so and loves you for who you are! Think positive and think beautiful💕xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Apr 2018

Well done for coming so far . Do try not to worry about dress shopping like the others said all of the shop assistants have see all different shapes and sizes. They will be able to help you out. Also if you can go to a few dress shops as some time you don't find you dream dress in the 1st one. Have fun! And be proud of who you are and what you look like . Xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Apr 2018

Your getting married to your partner coz they love everything and every bit about you, your body and your soul huni. So when you try on dresses do not look at sizes look at the dress and how it represents how lucky you are and how far you’ve come to beat your illness. Well done to you and keep up the good progress on your health xxx

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