Jaz Nokes
Jaz Nokes 29 Mar 2018

Is anyone else planning to have a friend be their officiant? I want to be...

Is anyone else planning to have a friend be their officiant? I want to be married by someone we know and care about, I'm struggling to choose and as I've mentioned it before several people have offered, how would you choose? Xx

14 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 29 Mar 2018

Hi I would never have thought of doing that :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2018

Are you in the uk? We looked into this but it’s not actually something that can be done xx

Pam Ryan
Pam Ryan 3 Apr 2018

This is something I looked into but not possible if you live in the UK

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2018

I'm doing this. I will be legally married in my local church then travel to the other side of the country to have a big wedding celebration with a ceremony performed by one of our closest friends. You could get legally married before or after in a registry office and still have the personal ceremony you want.

When we were deciding who to ask we decided it shouldn't be someone from either family, it needed to be someone who knew us well as a couple (had to be a mutual friend), someone we could trust and rely on to help plan the ceremony (because it will run smoother if the person performing the ceremony is involved and comfortable with it) and to turn up no matter what and someone who we were confident could do the job well. We found narrowing it down with those criteria made the choice pretty obvious for us. Hope that is helpful.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2018

Its not legal in the UK and not even as common in the US as the TV would have you believe unfortunately xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2018

You can have anyone conduct a blessing / hand fasting etc as this ceremony holds no legal standing
But for a legal ceremony it must be conducted by a church officiant or a licensed registrar

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2018

My sister in law is getting legally married in register office day before then friend doing ceremony next day xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2018

We are getting married the day before in a registry office and then having our 'wedding' the day after and having my partners auntie do the blessing. We couldn't legally get married where we wanted to anyway as its a family members land so this is a nice way to do things xx

Michelle Goldsworthy
Michelle Goldsworthy 3 Apr 2018

We’re having my fiancé’s best friend as I also get on well with him. He was the natural choice for best man but he felt he had to have his brother. This way his best friend is an important part of our day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Apr 2018

We had a family friend conduct our service, but then he is an ordained minister

Jaz Nokes
Jaz Nokes 3 Apr 2018

Thanks for all the advice, I'm starting to get an idea of who now :) I plan on having the legal stuff done before the ceremony at a registry office x

Lauren Shephard
Lauren Shephard 3 Apr 2018

We are doing this! Getting legally married the day before in a register office and having a nice family day out afterwards. Then the "proper" wedding with 130 guests, with a totally bespoke ceremony officiated by our friend (who would otherwise be the best man if not for the groom's brother). Other than the obvious personal touch, it's great to have the ability to include any elements, readings, and ideas you want, as well as have as much or as little control of the content as you want. Also, one additional unexpected upside is that you can have alcoholic drinks available on arrival for guests and the wedding party - something which isn't possible if your ceremony is a legal one with a celebrant! Good luck with the planning. Xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 4 Apr 2018

As it’s not legal in the UK, the people who are doing the legal bit either before or after the wedding, when do you say your wedding anniversary is? The legal wedding or the unofficial ceremony?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Apr 2018

Mine and h2b friend is doing it.
She's ordained and got very emotional when we told her.
As a joke, she is doing the Joey speech from friends the tv show and then we trust her with the genuine part. Cannot wait to hear what she says.

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