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UKbride Member Request 18 Mar 2018

so I feel a bit deflated ive had to dump my bridesmaid! i asked her to be a...

so I feel a bit deflated ive had to dump my bridesmaid! i asked her to be a bridesmaid as soon as we got engaged this is a friend ive had since primary school! so i thought id ask her properly with a box i made it up but she could not make time to meet up with me however met up with a friend of hers every Wednesday! i told her 3 weeks in advance about dress shopping and she never came! i haven't talked to her since the end of January when i told her about the appointment and tried to arrange to meet up shes not even tried to message me once!

12 Comments
Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 18 Mar 2018

That's sad but bear in mind that it is better you get things sorted sooner than later. I hope you will find a more co-operative bridesmaid soon.

Heather Perry
Heather Perry 19 Mar 2018

Better than mine just saying they cant be friends with me, not coming to the wedding... :(

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Mar 2018

Maybe she has something going on in her life...have you asked ?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Mar 2018

Sounds jealous to me x

Juliette Parnell
Juliette Parnell 19 Mar 2018

Dumping my maid of honour was the best decision I ever made. It was heart breaking at the time but now I have 2 bridesmaids and a bridesman who I love to bits and have been amazing. They have just arranged me a fabulous hen do and have been so helpful and supportive whenever anything hasn't gone to plan.

I've found planning a wedding has really shown me who my real friends are and just how lucky I am to have them :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Mar 2018

There are two possibilities here....
1. Your friend may be going through something you are unaware of, something bigger, and more consuming than your wedding. She may just be having a tough time, have you tried speaking to her? checked all is well
2. She clearly isnt that interested in being a bridesmaid, and isnt worth your time (or money for that matter!) and you're better off without her in your day

Michelle H
Michelle H 19 Mar 2018

I don’t think there’s enough information here. Yes she’s been a bad bridesmaid from your point of view, but what’s going on in her life? Ok so you told her to come dress shopping 3 weeks in advance, but did you ask if she was available? Yes your wedding is all consuming in your life but people have their own. I have friends who tell me things weeks in advance but that doesn’t mean I can instantly make myself available, I only get my work rota the week before.

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 19 Mar 2018

If she’s been a friend a long time I’d make one last attempt at saving your relationship. Maybe send her a letter telling her how you feel and letting her know that you want her to be part of your special day and that you’d like to sit down and try to work out whatever differences you have. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Mar 2018

Aw that's so sad. It's good you be found out in advance. A friend of mine went through something similar with his best man but his day was still amazing. What matters is you and your other half starting the next chapter of your life

Laura Lindsley
Laura Lindsley 21 Mar 2018

to be honest I know some people are saying she might have more going on in her life but I dont think she can go and meet up with a friend each week then blank her other friend, and if she couldn't be there for your dress fitting then she could of atleast messaged to just tell you I'm sure you would of understood if she had just messaged and told you

Michaela Sharp
Michaela Sharp 23 Mar 2018

Sounds like she's not very interested in being a bridesmaid especially as she can make time to see other friends. Maybe she only accepted to save your feelings. Whatever the case it seems you are better off without her.

Rhian Priest-Dibben
Rhian Priest-Dibben 28 Mar 2018

I was going to do the same with a primary school friend but due to time and our lives going in different directions we only tend to wish each other happy birthday now and thats it. I will invite her as a guest however

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