UK
UKbride Member Request 2 Feb 2018

Hi, We’re having a dilemma at the moment. My in laws were due to pay for...

Hi, We’re having a dilemma at the moment. My in laws were due to pay for the reception, but due to a family fall out, are refusing to pay till he apologises ( it wasn’t all his fault, but he isn’t blameless) he has done this, but they are now still saying they won’t pay tilll he starts coming round for regular visits etc. My parents have stepped up and got a loan to help us as we are just exchanging on a house so can’t ourselves. The problem is, the in laws were paying so they could have all their friend there including those I hadn’t met after 8 years. Am I in the wrong to say that if they are not paying, I’m changing the guest list, as invites are ready to go, even though they got a save the date. I have tried talking to all parties independently, and all are stubborn and won’t budge and I’m just stuck in the middle. Help

9 Comments
Susie Booth
Susie Booth 2 Feb 2018

Your well within your rights not to invite their friends .. You htb may be partially at fault but they are continuing the argument so I woukd let them get on with their little strop x

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 2 Feb 2018

How horrible. I would suggest you tell them before you change the guest list to give them a chance to back off. Get them to pay for everything you can before sending the invitations out too. Good luck.

Chloe Mitchell
Chloe Mitchell 3 Feb 2018

Sorry you're in this situation. If I were you I'd tell them that you are changing the guest list as they are now no longer entitled to their friends coming as they are not paying and then send the invitations to the people you want there. Hope you get it sorted x

Beverley Lennon
Beverley Lennon 4 Feb 2018

Will their friends add value to your day? If not, they’re gone! I was married before and my in-laws did the exact same thing although they only paid for the evening reception which didn’t include room hire and she wanted her long lost cousins there when I didn’t even have my own cousins because I couldn’t afford to have them. At the end of the day it’s your wedding, your decision who you invite, the important thing on the day is the vows you make to each other, not who is there to see it. Be bold and firm and stand your ground and don’t let anyone steal the joy from your big day! ❤️

Rachel Lee
Rachel Lee 4 Feb 2018

Don’t invite people because you feel you have too x

Lauren Keable
Lauren Keable 8 Feb 2018

I wouldn't invite their friends still. Don't have people at your wedding that you don't know especially if you are now paying for it yourself. They can only make these demands if they are paying x

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 10 Feb 2018

I wouldn’t invite their friends if they are not paying - why should your parents take out a loan to pay for people you don’t even know.

Alison Jarvis
Alison Jarvis 17 Feb 2018

Hi, if your invites haven’t yet been sent then you can change the guest lists just invite the other guests to the evening do. Personally I’d try to mend bridges as this fall out could become irreversible if not tackled now.
I’m sure you already have, but try to talk to them and explain how upsetting this is to you and that if you are sure that they won’t forgive and forget then tell them that they leave you no choice but to amend the guest list as it’s not far on your parents.
Hope you get this resolved and remember it’s yours and your h2bs special day that you only do once.

Joanne Lay-Treen
Joanne Louise Treen 18 Feb 2018

If thy are not contributing cancel any guests thy have invited

Comment

Before we add your comment, please: log in to an existing UKbride account or join UKbride
Why Join?