UKbride Member Request 5 Dec 2017

Hi ya.. I have a dilemma! One of My bridesmaids is my brothers girlfriend...

Hi ya.. I have a dilemma! One of My bridesmaids is my brothers girlfriend and they have just broken up. They have a little boy together. I really wanted to keep my wedding and wedding party to family and a few close friends of family. Obviously it will be awkward to have her as my bridesmaid (getting hitched in Sept 2018) and also I was inviting her mum n dad n little siblings. But my bro has said also it would be awkward to have them there. No invites have been sent out yet so what should I do. I'm thinking of not inviting them because it will be awkward to have her as bridesmaid and have her family there. I'm friends with her mum but not someone I talk to everyday.. maybe once a week. Advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 5 Dec 2017

Hi I think it would be awkward to have them there :)

Steph V
Steph V 6 Dec 2017

Hi, it would be awkward to have her family there but was your brothers ex a close friend before their relationship?
To be honest if you don’t invite her family she would be less likely to go anyway. Just have a chat with her an express how awkward it will be for not only you, your brother and your family but also her. She might be thinking the same as you :)

Lisa King
Lisa King 7 Dec 2017

I would wait they might get back together? If invites haven't been sent don't invite them.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

Ooh tricky! Maybe invite them to the evening if you are still good friends with them all in 6months time? They will have moved on a bit by then and anyway they are always going to be involved in each other's lives because of the child. So they may just have to suck it up.

Lucy Smith
Lucy Smith 7 Dec 2017

me and my ex split up about 3mths before his sister's wedding x even though I was invited I didn't attend as it didn't feel right x the brothers ex may feel like this too x try speaking to her x it's a while off yet so I wouldn't worry to much x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

She's the mother to your nephew so is he not a part of your family? Understandably it may be a little awquard but if your brother and his ex can be adult then surely she could still be a part of it and h you have your bridesmaid (guessing she was a friend too to even be asked) and your nephew there okay her mum dad etc doesn't need to go.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

Doesn’t matter if it’s the mother of her nephew the dad of the child shud be able to take him on his own to his sisters wedding the mother doesn’t have to be there or her family

Bethan Roberts
Bethan Roberts 7 Dec 2017

If you haven’t sent invites then don’t stress. Just cross them off the list and move on. Tbh, even if you did invite them all I can’t imagine they’d come xx

Lesley Smith
Lesley Smith 7 Dec 2017

Ask her as a normal day get with bringing your neice or nephew. If they are involved in the wedding party i am sure she would like to see. No need to ask all her family. Surely for one day the 2 of them can be civil for your special day x

Sammy Eldridge
Sammy Eldridge 7 Dec 2017

She is the mother of your nephew. Unless it’s very bad between the two of them then I don’t see why you can’t stick to the original plan. When my dad got remarried there were people there who wouldn’t spit on each other but it wasn’t their day so they put their differences aside, that’s what adults do.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

She will always be Family, she’s your nephews mother. It’s not your issue they split up. Continue as you always did.

Carrie Louise
Carrie Louise 7 Dec 2017

Sep. 2018 is a long way away. Feelings may change and they may become friends etc. Right now emotions are raw. I'd speak to them and be honest. Then when its down the line you may feel your brother may reconsider?

Suki Charlton
Suki Charlton 7 Dec 2017

I think it would be awkard especially as your brother might have a new girlfriend by then which would be doubly x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

I would just invite her as she is the mother to your nephew so she is family whether she is still sleeping with your brother or not. There is no need to invite her family but I think it would be unfair to cut your nephew and his mother out. Your brother can suck it up for a day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

If they have a child together then no matter which way you cut it she's still family, sit down with each of them and talk about it. Ask about whether they'd be comfortable if both were there, ask if they'd both be comfortable with her still being a bridesmaid.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

Be open and honest about how you feel... don't forget, it might be awkward for them as well if you were to invite them... if it was me (bridesmaid), I'd completely understand! Good luck! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

Why did you ask her to be a bridesmaid? You should ask them for your sake no one else’s, or you end up in predicaments like this. If you asked her because you wanted her then have her, if it was to please him then I invite her! Her family I wouldn’t invite as you don’t need to now if your not close to them but again it’s not about anyone else it’s about you so you should be doing what you want for the right reasons and not for someone else as it’s not their wedding

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Dec 2017

I wouldn't have her as a bridesmaid or invite the family. It would make the day awkward. She's your nephew's mum, she's not family!
I wouldn't say anything too soon though, for all you know they could get back together!

Emily Barnett
Emily Barnett 7 Dec 2017

I wouldn't invite my siblings ex to my wedding whether they have a child or not way too awkward and I wouldn't put my sibling in that position.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Dec 2017

They have a child together they need to get along and cope with each other’s different lives. The children who cope best with splits are where the parents can communicate and still be part of each other’s lives. I would see how Christmas goes as the holidays may create a mutual understanding between the two as they will both want to make Christmas special for your nephew and both want to part of it. The holiday will hopefully make them see clearly how best to interact now they are split. You may also want to give some sisterly advice about handling Xmas to your brother xx

Martina Winton
Martina Winton 9 Dec 2017

I don’t think it will be awkward you’re all still family as she is your nephews mother... maybe see how things go over the next few months and if it goes sour you still have time to sort out your wedding arrangements x


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