hi I'm looking for a little advice. me and my h2b are getting married June 2019... I am currently 4 months pregnant and recently I've been having a bit of drama with my bridesmaids. I have tried to organise days where we can all go look and try on bridesmaids dresses before the baby comes because I imagine when it arrives I'm going to have my hands full! every time I have tried only one of the girls has made an effort. the rest read my messages and don't reply. when I've told them how annoying it is they've turned it around and made me feel bad. I've been speaking to my mum and we aren't sure about maybe dropping the others and just having the one girl that genuinely makes an effort. bearing in mind 2 of the bridesmaids are my sister's (which makes it worse). I just really can't be bothered with the stress just now when I have the baby to think about. thanks
If they can’t be bothered now I doubt they’ll be bothered on your day. Don’t they understand that planning a wedding is a stressful thing to do and not even including being pregnant at the same time. If they were my bridesmaids I would be very disappointed and would drop them, sisters or not they need to support you. :)
I have a baby and wedding plans, I chose for my bridesmaids after getting their sizes! I too have one bridesmaid better than another.
How about getting your bridesmaids dress sizes and order dresses online for them; job done. Saves you stressing about their lack of involvement and gets the dresses sorted before baby arrives.
Sorry to hear your not getting much support, that can't feel nice at all. Maybe nearer the time they'll be more helpful?!?
I wouldn’t bother yet it’s way too early and you’re likely to change your mind
Personally if they cant be bothered to get involved they are obviously jealous and dont want to be bridesmaids just get rid x
Sisters or not- I would tell them how you feel -see how they react to it and then make a choice x
Tell them straight that you need this dealt with now. Give them one more date for meeting, and add that if they don't appear, you'll have to assume they don't want to be your bridesmaid. Don't make your assertion emotional, just state facts. Good luck
I only took my one of my bridesmaids and my mum to look at dresses. Sometimes too many people and opinions can cloud your own feelings and judgements. If they dont make effort with other things then i would drop them. You got plent of time to decide. I get married next November and right after I bought my dress I found out I was pregnant and due 6 months before the wedding x
Do a group message with a list of dates and tell them all to agree on one, if there’s no good reason to not go but any don’t maybe start downsizing then.
I agree with Jac! They might buck their ideas up if they realise you aren't just going to let them not help at all and still be your bridesmaids.
If they aren't making the effort dump them. Sorry to be blunt but they'll soon buck up their ideas xx
I had to drop 2 bridesmaids and it was awful but I am better off knowing the 3 I'm left with are the ones who are helpful and supportive. Good luck with whatever you decide!
Bridesmaids are THE most stressful thing about arranging a wedding...i feel ur pain x
Or look at it from another perspective July 2019 is a long time away, dress styles will change, your tastes might change further into the planning process, the bridesmaids body shapes may change so what you might pick might not suit in 19months time. After baby comes along is there not grandparents/family members that could do some baby sitting let you enjoy a mummy day off to have a girls day out trying dresses. And as for your sisters speak to them face to face & let them know how you feel, easy lose the emotion of a conversation in a text but they can't ignore that face to face. Xx
You could always just pick a dress that you want them to wear just find out their sizes and order them. If they aren't fussed about messaging back then they clearly won't be fussed about what you pick for them.
Drop em ... if they cba and they’re you’re sisters don’t give them scope to sulk all day and ruin it x there’s nothing wrong with having just one and it’ll be cheaper orrrr you can get better shoes with the extra cash hahaha
If you’ve tried explaining to them and they are guilting you then drop them. Sisters or not they should know how important this is to you.
If they moan or grumble or anything say I have tried with you all and only one of you makes the effort. They may suddenly listen or just be sour about it but you’ve got time for them to learn the lesson.
I didn't go with mine just went with my mam. I couldn't get all mine together at same time
Drop them you don't need the stress. Sisters or not they are acting disgracefully
Before you decide to drop them as bridesmaid speak to them first in person. I had a bridesmaid who didn't seem overly interested (she had recently had a baby so I just thought she was distracted). When we got to sit down together and chat I found out that she was trying to get involved in planning things but felt like she being ignored by another bridesmaid and a friend who seemed to be trying to organise my hen party without her
I’d suggest that it’s just too soon to be shopping for bridesmaids dresses. I’m all for being organised ( did my wedding in 20 months).
But people get sick of Wedding talk. It’s the most important day in you life, and hard as it is to hear.... it’s NOT the most important day to them.
So, cool off the wedding talk, especially with the stress of Christmas just round the corner. And a baby on the way. Concentrate of family and friendships.
Do your planning in the background with your mum if she’s supportive ( very lucky.... I have no parents and did it alone).
Then in the spring, suggest a girlie shopping trip with a manicure or pedicure for June/July.
I think you’ll find people are a lot more receptive when the sunshine is out, days are longer and no pesky Christmas draining the heck out of everyone. Xxx
We all get bogged down in our weddings, and obsessed with the details and planning.
That’s fine.... it’s our special day.
As much as you want it to be everyone else’s special day too.... it’s just not.
A little perspective, it’s not easy. Don’t take it personally. Even though it feels very personal.
Do what’s right for you.
stuff them just have the one who makes an effort the others only have themselves to blame x
You could say" all wishing to be bridesmaids, this is the dress shopping date !!!. This is it. Not there not a bridesmaid. " . Might be better to change the wording though. Good luck.
I would let the girl that is making the effort pick the dress you both like and tell the others it has been picked and if they don’t like it, tough.
Maybe wait a wee while, spring or something, enjoy Xmas and time with your baby, got loads of time!
Give them a date that suits you to go shopping with a few weeks notice, if they don’t make an effort... then I wouldn’t buy them dresses!
I would tell them to stuff themselves, bridesmaids are there to help you on the day and to help plan the day, and they should truly want too ! My bridesmaid send me images and ideas all the time and we have 2 years to our date :) If they can’t be bothered it shows they don’t deserve your love and consideration. Drop them and enjoy your day x
I had a bit of an issue with this too. The term "herding kittens" came to mind. I got all of their sizes & just ordered what I wanted in the end. Your sisters may be being a pain now but not having them in your bridal party later may be worse. Just do your thing & if they don't show an interest then they shouldn't complain when you make the decisions for them. Good luck x
Just have the one girl and have her as your maid of honour. Xx
Eh 2019 surely the wee one will be old enough then to leave for a day nearer the time to look for dresses then.. maybe jan 2019 still got 6 months to go... I get u think u will be way too busy but surely a day off out with the girlies will be on the books by then.. set a few dates and if then ur BM'S still can't make it go with dropping those that can't be bothered, as you've given them plenty of notice. I set my date in the august n got married the following March... none of this 2 years in advance I do get it though in some areas to get venue bands photographer caterers etc u do need a lot of notice but mine didn't.
It’s proabanly because three weeks to Christmas and you are trying to round everyone up to go shopping for a wedding in 19months time.
Send them some pictures of really awful dresses they will soon be there then, on a serious note I would wait until closer to the date. I have changed my mind so many times and I am not getting married until 2020. I will just wait until closer and sort it then. Good luck with whatever u decide just make sure it's the right decision for u x
I'd tell them to forget it.. Don't sound like decent friends to me.
You only need the one bridesmaid that makes the effort, I agree with the other comment re: sisters can babysit while you go doing wedding stuff
Don't allow someone else's drama to become yours on this your big day. Take the initiative cut them outnumbered of their duties.... Since they can't be arsed... I have a friend who's pulling similar... And I've called her on it... Her response has left me clear in my decision not to include her moving forward..... Life is short. Surround yourself with good people...
I would say it's a bit too soon to be buying bridesmaids dresses. The sizes may change or one of the bridesmaids could be pregnant by 2019 ! Enjoy your baby for a few months next year before worrying about your bridesmaids.
Tell them how you feel. Then if they do it again drop them. Plus you pick the bridesmaid dresses you like, it's your day
Just have the one that makes an effort and drop the others. Have the people who want to support you have a wonderful day, after all it is your day.