I've been watching the say yes to the dress programmes to get inspiration and to just enjoy the process of wedding dress shopping..... Every episode the bride to be shows up with a few people to help her choose her dress which is lovely .... one problem every time it comes on my mum says oh it’s just going to me you and me, you don’t need anyone else to come. I have said that maybe my mother in law to be would also like to be there, but she just says we can go and not tell her so she won’t come. My bridesmaids have also said they can’t wait to come to help and I know mum would object to that too. I wouldn’t mind them all coming but I know mum would be very upset that’s it’s not just me and her! Is there anyway I can get everyone involved without making my mum upset and moody?
I think you need to sit down and talk to your Mum, explaining that it is your wedding and how important it is to you to have the others involved. Remind her that she will be the most involved other than you. However, please don't let her rule your day or you will resent it later. It is of course more difficult if she is paying for it all.
I agree with Susan, definitely talk to her. You could compromise and go to the first one with just her and then bring other people after that x
Hi my daughter in law asked me to go with her,along with her mother and friends to get her dress and I was over the moon and thought it would be a great bonding opportunity. But she went and got her dress with her mum and never even told me when they were going I was very disappointed and felt hurt at been left out. If I was a different personality this could have caused problems, Try and talk to your mum as a wedding is all about two people been in love and joining two families together. Maybe suggest to your mum that you’ll invite everyone for your first dress shop and then you can just go with your mum the next time if you don’t find the one.
I went with my mum and auntie. I'm excited because no one has seen it but them.
Hi, I went for my first shopping trip with just me and my mum. Then for the next trip took Mum, Nan, Mum in law and bridesmaids and found the one maybe you could do it that way x
I understand both sides. It used to be a very personal experience for a mum and daughter to share. It is only in more recent generations that it has been the norm for more people to go. I think mums find it hard when they have probably waited for that moment from the time there baby girl was born. I had my mum sister and nieces with me to find my dress and then myself and my mum went to each fitting together. We are all very close and they were my bridesmaid and my mum was giving me away x
You need to tell her that your dream dress shopping experience involves a bigger group of people, but you could suggest that shopping for her dress is a special shopping day for just the two of you?
It obviously means a lot to your Mum, have the first shopping trip just you & her...when you find your dress take your maids to order it & your MIL for the fitting...I would add never take more than 2/3 at a time, enjoy xxx
Go with your mum first and once you have picked out a few dresses that you really like go with everyone x
I went on my initial trip with my mum, once I narrowed it down I went a second time with mum, mil and bridesmaids xx
On my first trip I had my mum, my chief bridesmaid and my friend to help me.
take who you want it's your choice and your day x my mum has seen me in dresses but only one person knows my final choice I want it to be a surprise for as many as possible x
I had my mam, moh and bridesmaids help me chose mine xx
My bridesmaids came with me and my mum and then when I picked my dress you it was just me and my Mum maybe suggest that to her so she still has the experience of it being the two of you
Go dress shopping with your mum and once you've actually chosen the one take your bridesmaids along to see it.
It took me over a year and 6 shops before I found the dress. I would go once with just mum and then bring others. You will be very lucky if you do find the dress with a first go. But then again you don't want too many people to be there when making decision as every one just have their own opinion and it gets stressful and confusing.
I took different people to different shops and had great fun trying on lots of styles. Then I took my chief bridesmaid back to see one I thought was it. And it was. ( My mam passed away 5 years ago and my future mother in law was ill. She loved the pictures)
You could try it that way so your mam will have a special time with you.
I went dress shopping with my bridesmaids and then my mum separately. No one except me and my mum saw my dress before the ceremony xx
I’ve gone the complete opposite! I’ve told my mum that I don’t want her to come with me because I want her to be as surprised as my dad when they see me in my dress on the day. I have 6 bridesmaids and 2 maids of honour and I don’t want all those opinions either so I’m just taking my MoH’s.
Plus my future MIL and 2 of my bridesmaids live in London and I live in Manchester so they might not be able to come. It wouldn’t feel right to only have some there and not others.
I’d just talk to her and say that as much as you’d love for it to just be you and her, it’s an experience you want to share with other members of your bridal party as well.
Just have a shopping day with your mum ..... & another day with your girlfriends & then everyone feels included.... & do 1 more day just on your own to work out what you like personally without everyone telling you what to do .... Warm wishes, love sarah xx
The chances of you finding your dress on the first trip are really slim so just go you and your mum the first time and then go again with everyone else. Its good to go round different stores and try on as many dresses as possible.
You could choose one with your mam and then take everyone else to your fitting, I think it's a mam and daughter day. You know the saying to many cooks spoil the broth, do u need so many opinions it could get confusing for you x
I went with my Mum and one of my mum's friends. I didn't want too many people there and the fewer people to see the dress before the big day the better in my opinion. I want it to be a surprise. X
I went alone,that way nobody gets upset
I just did it with my Mum. I have 5 bridesmaids and didn’t want too many opinions. X
im going trying on for first time on sat n taking my mum n gran but wen it comes to picking THE ACTUAL dress that will just be me n my mum n tbh i dont think anyone but my mum n moh will see my dress before the day as i want it to be a special moment when i show them im ready on the day n i luv my mother in law to be but she wont be seeing my dress but its how u feel n what you want xx
For wedding dress shoppìng I'm going with my mum and that's it and then when it's down to two il re book and bring mil and the wedding party or when I choose the one and have a fitting bring people then
Ultimately it's up to you who you take with you. You need to talk to your mum and explain if you want other people to come with you. I didn't take my mum at all as I know our tastes are too different! She is coming with me to collect it though...whenever it comes in stock!
Easy have a day wen it just u and ur mum... listen to her thoughts likes n dislikes... then do another day with ur BM'S MILTB... let them see all the dresses u and mum thought were on the short list... 2 days out dress shopping not to much to keep mum feeling happy and special.
I think your mum needs to realise that it’s your day and that she needs to suck it up and do what you want!
My 1st shopping trip was my mum, moh & flower girl (moh daughter) got my dress there & then && I’m going to take my other 2 bridesmaids to my fittings so they can see it then. Other than that no one els is seeing it.
I wish I could have my late mum and my late gran but I'm taking my maid of honour and bridesmaid with me but ultimately the choice will be mine but with their input. I suggest taking your mum and mother in law and then next time take your bridesmaids as well. Hope that helps and good luck x