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UKbride Member Request 4 Nov 2017

Hi, I am sorting our guest list out and I have a very large family, we are...

Hi, I am sorting our guest list out and I have a very large family, we are on a restricted amount of people that can come. This being said I do not want the majority of my cousins at my wedding at all (apart from a few) I have not even spoken to them for years, they didn't even congratulate me or my H2B on our engagement! I just cannot see myself and my H2B paying for their meal and drinks when I won't see them again. My H2B's family have been amazing and very welcoming whereas I feel he doesn't feel like my family have been. If we do invite them we would have to rearrange our guest list and potentially people we want there will be evening only. What would you do if you were in my situation?Shall I be honest with them if they ask?

32 Comments
Carol Read
Carol Read 4 Nov 2017

You should have the guests who you want to share your special day with not people you are afraid of upsetting if they care for you they will respect your decision

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 4 Nov 2017

Hi just invite those who you want to attend :)

Catherine Jakuta
Catherine Jakuta 5 Nov 2017

It's your day. Invite who you want and anyone else will just have to deal with it. Plus it's also your money!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

Im in same situation... but ive not invited any of them who i dont see speak to... its ur day and u should have people there who are happy for u both and who are in ur life... and who u both want to share the day with . Dont invite just cause they have the tag of 'family' hun x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

This is me too!! Whereas it's my close family who think I have to invite cousins who I haven't seen in years, they probably don't even know my partners name. My response has been, if they want to come, they can pay for their own meal

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

My 1st wedding i invited absolutely every family member as the yrs past said cousins have all got married and not invite me . We dont see each other that much and therefore expected. Im getting married again next yr and wont be inviting anyone other than aunts and uncles .

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

Someone once told me only to invite people you would be happy to have around your Birthday celebrations dinner table now and in 10 years time.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

Invite who you want, luckily I don't have a big family so I am not struggling in that respect...however there are friends and family that I haven't seen in years, or people I would've liked to be there but haven't even so much as said congratulations to us so, it makes the job easier. It's not difficult to congratulate someone these days with the likes of facebook and social media, so I don't think there is an excuse for ignorance. If they don't care, why should they be invited, have food and drink and a nice day? - Stick to people you want to see in the photos in 10 years time looking back, not because you feel you have too. xxxxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

What made my mind up as I was only going to invite who I wanted was 1 - I was at my Mums when according to Mum was a must when she turned up and came into the living room where me and my friend were sitting and she asked who was the bride 2 - bumped into my cousin in the supermarket and she asked who I was when I talked to her ‼️ invite who is in your life‼️

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

We both come from quite big families but are hardly inviting any family to our wedding. Why invite people that you never or hardly ever see, speak to or take the time to acknowledge. Being a family member doesn't give somebody an automatic free pass to your wedding. Surround yourself with people who you really want there celebrating and supporting you both on your special day xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

It's yours and your h2bs big day have who u both want to be present I was in same position as hardly speak to some members but felt they'd be put out if didn't invite n we said well we paying so they not coming but not phased by it now if they put out then so be it it's your day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

My son is getting married next year. He a d his W2B wont be inviting relatives that they never or hardly see or speak.to.
Why would they?
Only invite those who you regularly see and would really want to.share your day with.

Zoey Marples
Zoey Marples 5 Nov 2017

Same situation, were having 60 day guests and I’ve cut a lot of “family” out because I never see them. Why pay for someone’s to have a nice meal and drinks to never bother with you again 🙂

Olivia Cashin
Olivia Cashin 5 Nov 2017

I would say if you feel a tad guilty and feel they should have an invite. Just invite them to the evening party. Don't pay for them to eat a sit down meal though

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

We invited my husbands cousins but not mine as I have a huge family I hardly see x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

I'm sticking to the rule, if you haven't seen someone within a year (excluding close friends/family that live in different countries) then you don't need to invite them :)

Amy-Leigh Strachan
Amy-Leigh Strachan 5 Nov 2017

I'm only inviting close family and friends on my side as I also have a big family. My partner is doing the same because he also has a big family. Invite those you are close to not those aren't that bothered.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

I wouldn't invite family members I don't see to the day. If you have room in the evening invite them then. If u don't have room at all leave them out!

Paige Warwick
Paige Warwick 5 Nov 2017

i have a really large family too.. iv decided that only my immediate family are being invited as it’s just too expensive to invite those who you don’t speak too !! xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

At the end of the day it's who you want - have to ask what happened to parents paying for the wedding, we did for our daughter ,had studenst to pay towards costs. Don't brides parents even contribute any more,how mean.

Kattrina Loizou
Kattrina Loizou 5 Nov 2017

I have 79 cousins 9 made the list!

Anette Olofsdotter
Anette Olofsdotter 5 Nov 2017

I have loads of cousins, didn’t invite them - I had immediate family, god parents and friends...yes, felt a bit guilty but at the end of the day it was my big day, and my husbands , and we couldn’t have ceryine tgere

Emily Barnett
Emily Barnett 5 Nov 2017

I'm only inviting the cousins I actually see/talk to regularly otherwise I would need to add 200 more guests to the lists as my family is massive!

Danielle Thomson
Danielle Thomson 5 Nov 2017

Im in very similar situation my friends are coming in the day over some of my family the family are coming in the night as i spend more time with me friends

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

Don't have them. Simple. Why would you invite people you have nothing to do with at any other time?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

We have this situation. We're only inviting cousins to the evening... They may not even comex

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

I've learnt very recently
This is my life and my wedding and my money. It is my choice who I have and who I don't, nobody should over rule that.

Caroline Larner
Caroline Larner 6 Nov 2017

Invite who you want to and don't be bound by etiquette and family politics. It;s your day and you should spend it with people you are close to and actually want there. Invite cousins etc. in the evening and have close family and friends during the day. There is no point in extending your budget and plans for people you don't want to spend time with!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2017

Same boat. Those who haven't congratulated you will more than likely not remember your anniversary either :/ so why waste your time and money on people like that? X

Iona Lambert
Iona Lambert 6 Nov 2017

Be honest my side of the family is massive and we really don't have the money to spend on 200 guests. Remember this is your day If people can't be bothered to congratulate you why should you waste an invite on them when you could invite people who actually matter. Good luck 😊 guest lists are hard work

Caitlin Perry
Caitlin Perry 7 Nov 2017

I was so worried about the same thing but when I comes to weddings those who have been through it understand that it costs so much so they won't mind if you don't invite them. Also it's your day and the most important thing is that you are going to marry the one you love, on that day and any day after you won't care about anything but the man watching you walk down your isle of forever and those who mean the most and who have helped you with your day. It's your day, if they care for you and are worth a thought they will understand xxxx

Laura Wilkinson
Laura Wilkinson 7 Nov 2017

Invite who you want and if they are rude enough to ask why they are not invited just be honest

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