I'm 37 and our wedding is 3 weeks away. My 14 year old half-sister and chief bridesmaid wanted to wear my mum's wedding dress (from when she married my stepdad). Although it was ivory it was a simple silk gown and quite plain. Given its sentimental value I was happy with this as my dress is a full on tulle princess A line affair. My 3 adult bridesmaids are wearing dusky pink bridesmaid dresses.
Yesterday, my mum told me my sister no longer fits in this dress and was understandably upset. My mum took her to ****M0n500n unbeknownst to me and bought her an IVORY LACE WEDDING DRESS with a crystal belt. Given my sister is slimmer, more beautiful and wearing gysophilia in her hair, I'm very upset that she's now going to look like a bride and wear an actual wedding dress. When I expressed my concern, my mum said tough, that's what she's wearing. I'm upset I wasn't even consulted. I just wanted to feel beautiful for one day and worry that if I insist my sister doesn't wear this dress, they'll end up not coming to the wedding.
****EDIT : BRAND NAME DISGUISED IN LINE WITH FORUM RULES. MODERATORS
CommentAuthorNicoleW665
edited
Jennie I would definitely not be ok with this and I wouldn't allow it. Both your mother and sister should know that it is entirely out of the question! (more so your mother as your sister is only 14) I understand that you were good enough to allow her to wear the first dress for sentimental reasons but to then go out and buy a different wedding dress is honestly so shocking. I can't believe they think it's ok!
I'm wondering how you could approach the issue again considering what your mother said but if it was me, i would have to insist she didn't wear it and a lot of brides would definitely do the same. Even if your sister is only 14 i would definitely want to be the only one in a wedding dress x
When we met: August 2009
When we announced engagement: December 2015
When we will get married: September 2017
CommentAuthorEmily17
Definitely not ok. I would speak to them again and say that you will not allow it.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
That's really not acceptable, it's not up to your mum what she wears. I can understand her upset about the original dress, but another wedding dress is not the way to solve it. She is 14, so should be grown up enough to understand that she shouldn't be wearing a wedding dress. Only young flower girls can get away with white dresses. I would sit the girl down, without your mum there, and explain that when she gets married she can wear a wedding dress, but this is your turn. Perhaps you could encourage her to keep the dress for a prom dress, and find a colour that works with her hair and eye colour, so she still stands out from the other bridesmaids.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorTiffany
edited
I would be hitting the roof! No way on this earth would I allow it. Stick to your guns. If it was me in your shoes I would tell them it's either a dress I pick for her or she isn't being a bridesmaid full stop. This is YOUR day NOT hers or your mothers. You have the finally say in what she wears not your mother and if they don't come to your wedding because of it then quite frankly they need to grow up. (Sorry to be so blunt)
I love Elinor's idea about encouraging your sister to keep the dress for her prom.
Would your sister go dress shopping with you, with out your mum? Make it a girly day out just the two of you, once you both find a dress you agree on keep it at yours so you mum can not return it! (if she would do anything like that)
I'd insist on her wearing the samw as all the other Bridesmaids. End of. Totally not acceptable for her to wear a wedding dress! As others say, stick to your guns .........
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I'm angry for you!
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
Wtf?! As if yiur mum has done that- if she is chief bridesmaid yiu void have her in a different shade dress but no way is a white lace dress acceptable! I round hit the roof roo!
CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
WTAF!!!! This surely cant be true.... How can they think thats acceptable! Id be furious and telling them exactly what I thought.
Met In Lanzarote April 2013
Engaged In Rome February 2016
Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
Can you ask if the dress can be dyed the same colour as the bridemaids?
Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I still can't get over this. Unbelievable!
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorLeanneF96
I agree with all of above ... No way would i allow this. Thats out of order!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
One other option might be a compromise, that she wears a coloured dress for the ceremony and changes into the white for the reception. By then people won't pay much attention to her. Or is there any possibility of altering the original dress to fit her? It's more the style that would be the issue I think rather than the colour, after all Pippa Middleton was in white at the royal wedding.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorStaceyH989
I would not be happy about it being another wedding dress, white bridesmaids dress ok that I can cope with but the fact they have just gone out and brought another one and not even consulted you I'd be livid.
I really think you need to sit down and talk to both of them and bring some compromises to the table it is a day about you and your OH not your little sister being the centre of attention.
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
I agree with the others that this is unacceptable and I would put my foot down.
If it does happen that the drama is too much and she ends up having to wear this infernal thing to your wedding, just look forward to the day she gets married when you can turn up to her wedding in a giant tulle dress with dimonte bodice and tiara & wand combo with a massive bouquet
And also get some friends in pink dresses to walk behind you up the aisle as you take your seat.
CommentAuthorEmily17
Love that Mrs W!!!
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
NO NO NO
Find the receipt and take the dress back .... or just take the dress back n get a credit note ........ or give the dress to oxfam ......
Dress could have a nasty accident ......................... with a bottle of red wine. oops. Or a pair of scissors.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
Like yiur style IDL!
CommentAuthorCamilaL
Omg, no. Agreed with all the other posts, more angry at your mum that at your sister. Put your foot down with your mum and give her the options, but your sister showing up wearing that.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Lol Michelle
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMaxineP89
I don't suppose she has any idea or concept of how a bride feels about this.
I have already asked guests if its okay for them to wear a particular colour.
Take her and your mum to one side and have a word.
If they don't agree for her to change the dress - then I'm afraid the dress needs to have a little accident
This is just not right on any level.
I believe your mum is to blame more than anyone.
Looking forward to becoming the 3rd and last Mrs McLauchlan
CommentAuthorlaf2021
whaaaaaat?! no way would i be allowing that :O a wedding dress is for the bride only!! sorry but if that was my sister i'd be making her wear something else or she wouldn't be coming!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
She deserves to be made to wear a bridesmaid dress like the other BMs .........or a bin bag.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorKirbyT829
That's terrible. Stand your ground sweet. It's your day ! X
future Mrs kirby nirvana Gavin
CommentAuthorTiffany
I'd be telling my mother I would buy her a dress that I would love her to wear and buy the ugliest thing I could find! (evil bride kicking in lol) This post still makes me angry for the poor bride. I really hope she has got it sorted
CommentAuthorEmmaB697
I would be fuming! It's one thing wearing something that's sentimental but wearing something completely different is ridiculous! It's your wedding day and you should be the only one in a wedding dress! Speak to your sister and see if she would be happy to choose another dress from the same shop that it can be swapped for? Or ask her to cover the glitzy belt for a ribbon belt the same colour as the bridesmaid dresses??
CommentAuthorJustAMermaid
woah this is shocking! i feel for u. how dare your mum and her even go behind your back and do this and assume its ok. i can understand why you allowed her to wear the other dress which no longer fits due to the sentimental value, but upon them realising it no longer fitted they should have just let you know so that you could ll go and get her the matching bridesmaids dress that matched the others. I'm sorry but if they refuse to attend the wedding because you say she can't wear it then it says more about them than you. the 14 year old is old enough to realise and seems to come across as she's either spoiled or plain jealous and wants to steal the limelight. i would put your foot down or as comments above suggested spill red wine on the dress. its a shame they've put you in this position, its not on. livid for you
CommentAuthorAnikaM60
Im in complete shock. Cant even believe this is true. Your mom should really know better. Everyone knows trying to upstage the bride is a big NO NO, a wedding dress is completely out of the question. Id have to put my foot down on this. The sad thing is you shouldnt even have to. This isnt something you should have to deal with at all