Wedding Forum - Hen Drama.... Do I Step In?!...

Hey ladies,

So my bridesmaides kindly offered to plan my hen for me. I am originally from london but now live in scotland, so as our wedding is up here i said id like a nice weekend down in london. I gave them a list of people to come and said the only thing i really would like is to stay in an appartment instead of a hotel, so the 10 of us can all be together rather than seperated.

I only found out last week that nothing has yet been organised. 2 BMs are trying to sort it but my MOH is basically turning down everything saying its too expensive. i understand everyone has a budget but she is the only one who doesnt pay rent, and shes on a well paid job and has known about this for a year.

Its only 6 weeks until the hen party now, and theres still nothing booked, my mum tried to step in at the weekend with a handful of nice apartments that cost the same, if not cheaper than the local travellodges. But nothing is good enough for my MOH to agree to. My friends have no idea what were doing or where were going or how much they need.

Im dissapointed with my MOH for not been more helpful or not wanting to make this special for me, when do I step in to sort this, as at this rate ill be sleeping on the street with nothing planned :( i really appreciated the BMs help and dont want them getting frustrated, which i think they already are :( xx

Someone needs an honest chat with her to say a hotel would be x the apartment is x what is your budget
Does she realise it's the same as a hotel?

It sounds to me as though you need to take the responsibility off her and give it to someone else... maybe even your mum considering she's been doing some research already. It might cause some awkwardness but with 6 weeks to go until your hen you really do need to be getting something booked sharpish - if she doesn't want to do that for you, then let someone who does. She's has plenty of notice and if everyone else is ok with the cost then she really just needs to suck it up and get on with it.

You do need to do something though. I like Flossie's idea of giving it to your mom to sort out as she has done a lot of research already.
If you leave it now for a few weeks you run the risk of not being able to get anywhere.

Sounds like it will turn out alright, If they are all booking then it is a positive. Don't let this get you down.

You have got me to get myself into action though, I am part planning mine to a certain extent and we have got no where so far!

Well a weekend away somewhere but this July so we are a little pushed for time. Only issue is my friend who has been all up for it and really wanted to go has now deleted herself from wh@t$@pp groups and deleted the app. Not sure what is going on there!

On the plus side we have started looking and hopefully we can get something half decent for not too much money - was going to have a weekend away with just a few girls then have a night out but quite casual drinks and dancing in the UK for everyone much later in the year, might now go for just a weekend away with three people and then have the UK one later as my actual hen - I sound so greedy but I really am not lol x

How are you getting on MrsC2be? Is there any update on yesterday?

Ooo ok lesley not too much longer! I dont think thats greedy at all it sounds fab lol x

So my mum and SIL stepped in and booked the accommodation (once everyone had agreed) but ive found out my MOH has been messaging the other hens saying how ****ed off she is with this hen. She hasnt actually even done anything yet so that upset me shes saying that! I dont want her getting stressed out, but she insisted in beginning of Jan that she wanted to plan it. I told my mum just to take a step back and leave it to her now, im glad shes got accommodation booked so at least we have somewhere to stay :) Hope I dont come across selfish! Im just dissapointed she hasnt been more excited for this and just seems really annoyed by it all.

Thanks girls. xx

Yes get you mum to step in .....

BM's are definitly sorting things out so thats good, just feel bad for them that its turned into a more stressful planning situation rather than an exciting one.

More drama...... *kill me now lol*

MOH has dropped out of friday night now, but accom is all booked so my mum has had to ask her to still pay for the friday night even if she cant come now (she hasnt given a reason why she cant come on the friday now) she had a whole night planned on friday for us so i guess my other BM's will now need to sort it. im actually dreading the hen as its going to be so awkward between the BM's my mum and my MOH.

i wish i had been involved in the planning so i could have helped and been more to the point and cut out alot of drama (i only know about all this through my mum! not in a gossiping way just in a concerned wants my advice on how to handle it way)

Yea hopefully your right :) Your plan sounds much easier and stress free, can you come plan mine please lol x

Mum has said to MOH that she still needs to pay for fridays accomodation even though shes dropped out (which is correct i think) but MOH has come back saying she refuses to pay. So now we all need to try and cover her cost.

Really dissapointed in her, dont even know what to say!! x

Shes adamant that shes not going to pay so nothing more I can really do without having an argument with her. So difficult and awkward! x

Oh Mrs C that's so rough, errgh why does there always have to be drama when things are supposed to be fun?

I think you're right to expect people to pay at such short notice, even if they drop out, perhaps she's having money troubles or panicked because shed not organised anything (despite saying she had). Whatever, she should be honest with you. Poor show.

Thanks ladies :)

No one I can replace her with now (we are travelling to london from scotland as most of my friends including MOH live there as i used to live there) so my new friends up here in scotland wouldnt be able to travel down with us or get booked onto the activities :(

I am deffo having doubts about her been MOH but itll just mess up the wedding to bring up how I properly feel, shes one who is quite stubbon and doesnt like to back down. Didnt realised a hen party could be so difficult :O she went for lunch with our friends at the weekend and apparently was saying shes fuming with my mum, which again is obviously frustrating and disrespectful to hear xx

I totally agree with Emily. Such a horrible position to be in though x

it may just be that she is overstressed and maybe worried about it all and then maybe it will be an easy resolution but definitely be honest :)
Hope it all works out okay for you though x

Let us know how it goes, I really hope that it kind of gives her a wake up call and that she hasn't realised what she is doing to you x

Good luck x

What a cow bag- no way is she MOH and she doesn't even care! She just sounds butter and jealous

I can understand her wanting to share a room with her OH, as you'll all be asleep it won't make much difference as long as she's in the same hotel, she just goes elsewhere to sleep. She should be there for the evening though.

How did you get on MrsC?

There are 2 options- tell hem what you really want- if these are you true real friends they will be fine- maybe they needed guidance all along- I am going to say to my bridesmaids this is the sort of thing I like- don't mind where we go and what we do and here's a list of people- rest is up to you.

Either that or if you said to begin with you don't mind what they do then I think you will just have to go with the flow and enjoy it- if it doesn't live up to what you had you could always go out for a meal an cocktails in a couple of weeks- although I know you are short of time and hard to get everyone together

I am pretty sure you will have a blast whatever you do and I think you need to just not stress over it too much now xx

yea im sure ill have a good time what ever happens! Just sad that by the sounds of what everyone is saying to my, my MOH is trying to do things all on the cheap (im the first to love a bargain not if it ruins things though) so wants party food in the house instead of a meal. amongst other things. Its only in a week and a half so we'll just see how it goes.

Sorry for the constant rants, i just dont want to fall out with her i should just be able to have a conversation with her but its not that easy unfortunately.

Sometimes it's better to rant on here and sound things out rather than saying something you may regret?!

same here xx