Wedding Forum - Ceremony seating kerfuffle...

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The Big Day > Wedding Etiquette: Ceremony seating kerfuffle

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- CommentAuthorFayeH
  
  edited
Hi all,

I have a question to pose!

At our venue, we'll be getting married in the venue's Chapel if the right number of guests RSVP (we need no more than 87 guests to RSVP and we're inviting 97!) On the assumption that some of the more frail/distant guests don't come, i'm trying to decide what to do with the seating.

In the Chapel there are space for 60 people to be seated downstairs and 12 seats on the balacony. We can have 89 people in there including us, which means that 15 people other than us are going to be standing up. I've asked mine and OH's friends if they'd mind standing and they were all fine with it, however the wedding coordinator at the venue says that they've had situations like that before where guests forget or sit down, leaving family members to stand up.

It's quite important to me that all of our family members get to sit down for the wedding.
So I was thinking of having a full seating chart for the ceremony as well as the meal - because there will be separate chairs, not pews - and creating a ceremony seating chart/placing placards on each chair, however i've seen anyone do this before and don't know how feasible it will be to organise - Not all of the guests are known to the groomsmen so it seems at some point they will have to ask guests' names to direct them to their seats. What are your thoughts?
- CommentAuthorElinor Claire
At very least I think it would be reasonable to reserve seating for family members and bridesmaids, and anyone who you think might struggle to stand throughout the ceremony. You might need a certain amount of flexibility, for example if a lady that was going to stand becomes pregnant, or someone gets hurt and can't manage to stand. It might be an idea just to warn other guests that some people will need to stand, and to contact you if that might be a problem, then you can assign seats to those who are a priority. That way you don't end up having to redo a seating plan if circumstances change.

30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
- CommentAuthorEmily17
I would get ushers to ask if family or friend and get them to coordinate it that way.

I personally think its a little messy to have a seating plan for the ceremony as will take everyone ages to sit down..

Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
- CommentAuthorKathleenO17
I was also going to suggest making sure the ushers know and can direct people accordingly. Maybe place reserved signs on the front couple of rows for elderly family members and bridal party etc.

If friends are happy to stand maybe just mention it again politely nearer the time but to me it sounds like a job for the ushers as seating guests is usually their job at church weddings
- CommentAuthorCamilaL
I think the ushers is the best option. You can also put those signs "reserved for family" to ensure your families will be seated.

- CommentAuthorInDreamland
Just reserve seating just for family and the bridal party okus any older guests or those with mobility issues and definitely require a seat. Then brief the ushers x

Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
- CommentAuthorLoz K
I agree with the other ladies - best to put "reserved for family" signs on the first few rows then that way you know that you have enough space.

I have a burning question though...what if more than 87 people RSVP!? How will you deal with it then?? Our venue were quite strict on numbers and we are only allowed 80, including the two of us, so we've had to be quite ruthless with the guestlist, which has meant turning away a few friends for the ceremony and only inviting them to the evening.
- CommentAuthorFayeH
Haha Loz it's the subject of much debate! We really love the chapel but if we go over on numbers there is the main hall that we can get married in. The main hall is also a beautiful room, but the rest of the do will be in there and the chapel is lovely so we wanted to do it in there.
If more guests RSVP then we have the following options, ranked in order of preference:
- Ask our friends if any of them aren't too bothered about the ceremony bit and pay for them to get a couple of drinks whilst the ceremony is on
- Ask guests with young children of they'd prefer to sit the ceremony bit out. Our venue has a lovely play area with a big wooden climbing frame/clubhouse so some of them might prefer to take the kids to play for half an hour instead of making them be quiet in a ceremony for half a hour
- have the chapel doors open (here very large) and a few of our friends watching from just outside the chapel
- use the main hall for the wedding instead
- CommentAuthorFayeH
It looks like the consensus is definitely no seating plan. Oh well! I better make sure the ushers are good on the day!
- CommentAuthorLoz K
Faye my friend hired a babysitter for an hour to keep the younger kids entertained during the ceremony - it meant that the adults could watch knowing that their children were being looked after. That could work? Another option is to hire a magician or something to keep the kids entertained but adults would need to supervise that.
- CommentAuthorFayeH
It's a great idea but 'm not sure if it would work with the kids in our ceremony - we have two children who are 6/7 wo it would work fine for, and if we asked that family if they wanted to go to the play area instead that would be four people fewer in the ceremony room, but then another child is 5 and has autism so wouldn't be able to be separated from his mother. The rest will all be around 18 months so i'm not sure whether the parents would be comfortable leaving them with someone they don't know?
- CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
My Sister's venue put pieces of paper with names on the seats that were reserved
- CommentAuthorKristyM55
Ask your close friend or mate to monitor the seating arrangements.

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