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Wedding Forum - Planning a wedding with M.E.?...

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  1.  
    • Louiseyweesey
      CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Heyyyy fellow brides to be!

    My fiance and I are getting married on August 6th 2016. So far we have booked the church and are deciding reception venues, I have also asked my bridesmaids and all have said yes!

    I''ve been an M.E. sufferer for 7 years now and on purpose allowed a good amount of time to plan and pace myself as I knew I'd need to do it all at a slower pace, and I wanted to enjoy it and for it not to make me poorly. However, we live 150 ish miles from where we are getting married (our hometown) and it's been fairly full on travelling there to book the church etc. Going back this past weekend has triggered a flare up and I have been signed off work for the week which is gutting - I don't want it to be like this for the next 18 months but then I don't want the M.E. to hold anything back or compromise our special day or the run up in any way.

    We've thought of a few ways to try and keep it all at bay as much as possible - if possible getting accomodation at the reception venue so I can go and have a few mins chill if needed, and also we're postponing our honeymoon for a year so that I'll be able to recover from the wedding properly and fully enjoy a good honeymoon without being ill or exhausted. My bridesmaids are amazing and have offered to help with anything I need, but I feel a bit awful giving them 'jobs' that I should be doing e.g. researching/ getting quotes/ visiting florists and caterers etc. Also I want to do a lot of it myself with my h2b as it is all so exciting and we'll only be doing this once, it's just proving too much physically at the moment.

    I just wondered has anyone got any tips to not necessarily cut corners, but to save energy and strength in places and avoid upsetting the balance so I can keep myself as well as possible. Also are there any other brides with M.E. (or any other long term condition) out there - how have you coped?

    Thank you :-)
    xxxx
  2.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hello and congratulations :)

    I personally don't have ME (have other conditions) but I know someone who does and managed their wedding really well! They like you planned for about 18 months, did things slowly, booked gradually and got a lot of help from bridesmaids/family/friends so I know it is doable :) just don't push yourself when you are having a bad episode and use your support network! xx

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  3.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't have experience of M.E but my advice would be to do as much as you can over the internet.. you can order loads of things online like your decorations, favours, bridesmaids dresses, accessories etc. and email/phone people for quotes rather than physically going to see them. As said above, don't be afraid to use your support network! x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  4.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't have any experience either, but I would just take up as much help as is offered. It sounds to me like you have a huge amount of support around you as well. You can do a lot through the internet just sitting around relaxing which takes the stress out of things. You can get ideas etc from that.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  5.  
    • Louiseyweesey
      CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thank you :-) Hadn't thought to look at stuff online, that's a fab idea xx
  6.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Congratulations Louise, you are my wedding date twin :-)

    I agree with what everyone has said also. Take your time as you have got plenty of time to book things etc.
    The internet is my best friend. All the things I have bought are mostly from the internet and not actually gone in to the shops.

    Remember you have all us brides that can give you any advice you need xx

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  7.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Hello Louise and congratulations :)

    As everybody else has said you have lots of time to do everything and the internet has been my best friend too! Everything I have bought so far has been online and I have been able to find everything I want to buy and all of my suppliers online. The amount of hours I have spent online is riduculous but it is worth it to find what you want x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  8.  
    • Louiseyweesey
      CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thank you :-) Yeah drfinitely Mrs M - what a good date to choose! :-D Love it! xxxx
  9.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It is hehe :-) x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  10.  
    • Anon
      CommentAuthorAnon
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sorry to res an old thread, but it's really tricky to find other brides with M.E. (or so I've found) so figured it was worth sharing some input.
    Internet and phone are amazing tools. We're planning two years out to give ample time since my M.E. has been steadily getting worse these past five years - planning is going well and aside from having to move a few appointments last minute due to a flare, it's not been too tricky. Not looking forward to dress shopping - temp control is a pain and I know I'll be exhausted, dizzy and boiling after it.
    So far, I've tried not to schedule more than one call a day unless one is early morning and one is late afternoon. If I've had to go out to meet a vendor I make sure to prep ahead to make it as quick as possible and I try to aim for Saturdays to leave a day to rest before businesses open again on Monday.
    Travelling. Spring for the most comfy travel means and be sure to pace prior and after it. Also, when not doing appointments there, rest rest rest. I've found it much easier to travel upgraded from standard rail tickets to first class (with a card) and getting to the platform early (most stations have an assist team to call for this) - if driving, get who ever is driving to do so smoothly. Trying to avoid sharp turns, sudden start-stops or generally the sort of driving which has you rattling in your seat.

    Good call on having somewhere to rest at the reception. We didn't think of that.
    Best of luck and I sincerely hope your day goes well.

    Met 2004. Together 2007. Engaged 2012. Tying the knot 2017.


  11.  
    • IrishLion
      CommentAuthorIrishLion
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    hey ladies. I dont suffer myself with M.E but i was involved in a bad RTA in dec 2011, i was pedestrian hit at 70mph by a jeep and still suffer with mobiity/mental/fatigue problems even still. Everyday like yourselves is struggle for me.

    I found the internet so useful to look for ideas etc, you can go at your own pace from the comfort of your bed.
    I've so far not stuck to any of those 'timelines' they give you, ive booked stuff in my own order and with great support from my OH, yes we've had tiffs about stuff but thats natural.

    the best advise i can give anyone with a long term issue, like yourselves and myself is something my shrink used to make me repeat
    ITS OK TO HAVE A LAZY DAY. So dont worry if your not doing wedding stuff all day everyday, and if you have an achy or painful day, take the day off. ITS OK.

    i found this hard to stick to and i still do at times, but then i realise my health is more important. If im not well then the wedding wont happen, so i have to pace myself. Also delegate.... ask others to pitch in if it helps you to feel ur making progress.

    your day is what you make it remember, so dont feel you have to go above and beyond to feel like ur getting somewhere. on the day your hard work will pay of...

    its nice that us ladies can all pool together... just remember the mantra

    ITS OK TO HAVE A LAZY DAY ;)
    X
  12.  
    • Louiseyweesey
      CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thank you so much ladies and good luck with your plans :-) So far I'm doing OK, just got to be mega strict on myself I guess but I'm used to that! xxxx
 

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