Wedding Forum - Mum's driving me mad!...

Just a bit of a rant about my mum sorry! Since I got engaged she hasn't seemed bothered about the wedding (I understand this may be because it's quite far away but it upset me a bit), so over the past month or so I have been trying my best to tell her lots of things about it and ask her opinions on everything, but all she keeps saying is I should go abroad to get married! Yes we have considered this as it may be cheaper for us but after much discussion we decided against it, this is due to a number of reasons but mainly that we both want our grandparents to see us get married but mine are almost 80 and H2B's are 89, so they won't fly and my best friend (MOH) can't afford flights and accommodation etc, as she is a single mum, but when I tell my mum this she just shrugs and gives me a stupid look. Even when my H2B mentioned people from his large family that wanted to be at the wedding she shouted at him that she thinks we should go away. I know it might sound harsh but I wouldn't put it past her to want it abroad because she just wants a holiday out of my wedding, but she just will not even listen to me saying anything else, she says she is trying to help us save money but not considering what we actually want.

She has also recently said I am too young to be getting married which is strange seeing as when I marry I will be the same age as her and my dad were when they got married! I understand that I'm her oldest daughter and she might just be upset that I'm starting a new life but there is no need for her to be the way she is!

Sorry I just needed to get that off my chest! Thank you if you have read to the end :) xx

Maybe she wants something different for you upon reflection of her own wedding day? She shouldn't force anything upon you though and should respect what you want and your decisions. The only way to solve this would be to sit down and have a proper chat with her, get everything out in the air xx

My mum doesn't show that much interest really and I thought it was cos her and my dad divorced when I was 18, but when she saw me in my dress she got really emotional even though she's not shown an interest since... Just the way she is I guess x

If this is how you feel then don't tell her about anything, just go ahead and plan she will eventually ask you after a while and take an interest

I would probably agree and stop telling her things. I think it seems as if there's something that's bothering her? Can you confront her and ask why she doesnt seem to have much interest and why she wants youto go abroad? If there isn't anything underlying, then just leave her be with all wedding things for a while and she might take an interest a bit nearer the time or when you go dress shopping etc x

It would be hard to just stop telling her things though, I can't imagine having to keep things away from my mum.. I love talking about our plans with her because well, she's my mum! I feel so blessed that I'm not having any of these problems with close family.. really sorry for all of you who are having problems and finding it difficult :( x

im 33yrs old and left home when I was 16 and have pretty much figured adult life out on my own. But at my age Id still like my mum to be a big part of my wedding planning and support me, but like you she does not show much interest, it does hurt my feelings at times but you just have to keep your chin up and do what ever makes you and your partner happy, im sure she will support you as the day draws near, im hoping at some point mine will

Sadly my mum passed away a few years ago so I expected my dad and step mum to excited and basically how you described and for the first few months of proper planning I felt like no one seemed bothered however recently it's liked stuff have completely 180. My dad said because I'm so independent he didn't want to tread on my toes and then admitted my step mum was talking to him about wedding and how she was excited which I found odd as to me she was bored of hearing about it. Now with less than 12 months to go things are getting to where I imagined.
All I would say is focus on the plans and bring them up every now and again and anything you want her to be part of ask her, you see to have a good network with your friend sister and aunt which I know aren't the same as a mum but focus on the excitement and enjoy :)