Ok - I have a friend who I've know for a year at work & have got really close to. She has a rubbish boyfriend (I mean, really rubbish), who I have told my h2b about, and h2b begrudgingly agreed to invite him as her (long term) plus 1 to the wedding ceremony, as I really want my friend to be there - the day wouldn't be the same without her. So, recently, my friend and her boyfriend had a bad patch, even to the point where he hurt her (left bruises) and she kicked him out, said it was over. I was overjoyed for my friend & h2b was delighted that "that d***head isn't coming; never wanted him there at our wedding in the first place".
But now they're back together... I'm hoping she sees sense and dumps him soon, but she's too soft to dump him. I'm not the only one to have said she's better off without him. But I don't want him at our wedding either - I don't want to be in the same room as him as I want to give him a clobber for hurting my friend.
Do I cross my fingers & hope she dumps him, or tell her he's no longer invited, or what?? Advice appreciated!!
CommentAuthorSusie
Perhaps take her aside and say, sorry doll, when you dumped him we viewed him as not coming and we invited someone else! That might work?
CommentAuthorMrsBull2B
I agree with susie! x
Met 5th Sept 2005
Got together 10th May 2011
Got Engaged 14th Feb 2012
Getting Married 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorVelcro
Yep I'd defo use the same reason as susie.... X
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorAH86
Friday 10th April 2015
Marrying my best friend
Not long now :D
I dont think Ive had so many people agree with me all at once. Could you all contact Dave and tell him this is how its meant to be??? lol
Hope it is a reason you can use AmyK xx
CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
Think susie hit the nail on the head xx
CommentAuthorMelanieH10
I agree with Susie too :)
Getting married Sunday 1st May 2016 :)
CommentAuthorChristieC93
I agree with the others. Just say that numbers are really tight so every seat counts and as soon as you thought you had a spare seat you filled it. You could not have known that they would get back together. Perhaps make a nice gesture to say that you will put him at the top of the list if anyone else can't make it (but don't really!)
CommentAuthorBecky1608
Well said Susie. That's a really good and believable reason xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I was thinking along the same lines as Susie as well.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorAmyK
Thanks ladies for the replies... I'm just going to wait and see how things develop, especially now that someone else is being sweet to my friend, she's seeing that she does deserve better... But if she brings her rubbish boyfriend to the wedding then fine - her happiness is more important than my seating plan. (Still secretly wishing she dumps him)
CommentAuthorShowgirl
Fingers crossed
CommentAuthorVickiD69
What I would do is say to her that, seen as he hurt you, physically hurt you as well as mentally I do not want that sort of person at my wedding. That way he wont be at your wedding, but most importantly will show her how much you dislike someone who could hurt someone so close to you. But if you dont want to use the harsh approach, then what susie says! :) x
CommentAuthorLauraK7
I agree with Susie too x
CommentAuthorRebeccaH100
edited
Be careful that you don't make her feel she can't come if she wants to come with him. Honestly, it sounds like a really abusive situation, and I 100% understand the instinct to uninvite him but it may end up with her feeling like she cannot go or him telling her she can't go since he's no longer invited. Abusers often try to come between friendships to isolate their victims.
If you are worried, tell her that you love her and you are concerned, but don't allow him to put space between the two of you. You cannot force your friend to get help, but you can continue to be there for her. Disinviting him to the wedding won't cause them to break up. It will cause additional tension and most likely will end up with her staying home and missing your wedding, you being upset she missed your wedding, and you distancing yourself from her. That is what he wants.
WIN A WEDDING WINNER 2014....Rebecca and Ryan
'Hear my soul speak: The very instant that I saw you,
did my heart fly to your service.'
Met 03/2013: Engaged 12/2013: Married 06/2015
CommentAuthorAmyK
Thanks Rebecca, that is what I fear. And if I were to make a negative comment about him, it is likely she'd take it to heart and see it as a negative about her too - she's a sensitive soul. Plus I don't want to appear to be a smug moo about how my relationship is so great we're getting married, but have her think I don't approve of hers - I think that would only knock her confidence and ruin our friendship
CommentAuthorChanelP
I agree with RebeccaH100 as it could make more of a problem for your friend. But Susie's idea is a good one and will probably work:)
XxX
CommentAuthorSamanthaJ141
i agree with susie
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I was going to suggest exactly the same as Susie x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!