Wedding Forum - Who should pay...

Ok, as far as I've seen, there is no normal here...
I'm intending to pay for my bridesmaids dresses , because most of them are crossing the ocean to go to the wedding. BUT, if it goes out of my budget, they will have to pay for it (I may help them, like half/half)...
If they are your friends, they will understand.

I think if you want your bridesmaids to pay for anything, I would probably get it all out in the open when you first ask if they want to be your bridesmaid. No shocks, or potential for fallouts then. I know traditionally, they paid for nothing, but times have changed.

I am planning on buying their dresses, however my best friend (MOH) expected to buy hers and her daughters (flower girl), which I thought was very nice but told her I wanted to get them. I am on a budget but have seen dresses I want to get for my 3 bridesmaids for £30 each, which is why I don't mind getting them all. I would have a chat to them and explain to them why you would like them to buy their own and that you don't want them to spend more than 50. I am sure they will be ok with it as they will be happy to be part of your day :) x

We were running out of money so asked our adult groomsmen and MOH to pay for their own outfits.

It will all depend on who choses, has the final say and wearability after the wedding.

If bride dictates colour and style and it's an obvious bridesmaids dress that they probably can't wear again and the bridesmaids can't really afford it either then bride pays.

Bridesmaids may be happy to pay if it's not expensive depending on their personal financial situation, they get choice over style and possibly some say on the colour or shade of the dress. Then they may be able to wear it again after the wedding and get their moneys worth.

I paid for all my bridesmaids dresses but I dictated the colour and had the final say on style although my bridesmaids chose it really butIif I didn't like it they'd have had a different one. They were also rather expensive. I also paid for the alterations needed. I also paid for their hair and makeup on the day but they provided their own or paid for their own jewellery accessories and footwear.

My sister did the same when she got married.

My maid of honour is helping me out if the dress is over £40. But we have seen some nice dresses in TX max which were reduced but just the wrong colour.

Mine did buy their own shoes and accessories though and did their own makeup. I paid for their hair also x

I wud pay for dresses but ask them to buy own shoes. Its whst weve done but ive said 25 quid anything over ill cover that (one is having pumps the other heels and i said i can give 10-20 towards as ive saved on their dresses and the suits anyway)

Our bridemaids are h2b sisters, who are teenagers. We are paying for everything but in hindsight I am now wondering if we should be?? Nobody has offered to pay for anything, and we'll be paying for dresses, shoes, accessories, flowers, hair etc....

which i shud add....i cannot afford

I agree with Kel, you need to stick by what YOU want.. don't change what you want just cos one bridesmaid is being fussy and difficult! My bridesmaids have been amazing, they have all said I can literally put them in whatever I want and they will wear it. No fuss about styles, colours... obviously you want them to feel comfortable and gorgeous on the day, but they shouldn't make it difficult for you x

I've been bridesmaid and MoH a few times and each time I've had to buy my own dress, shoes etc. On 2 occasions I did my own make up and the last time we all had our hair and makeup done together. The most expensive dress I had to buy was £140 and I've never worn it again.

Because I've been on both sides I think it depends on the couple. Generally if you've asked someone to play a big part in your day then you would be close and when I've paid for my own dress it's because I knew there was no wiggle in the budget and I assumed I would be buying.

With the bridesmaid dresses for my own wedding I would like to buy them but the budget will be tight but having a £100+ dress in your wardrobe that you may never wear again is not nice either. My partner has been a groomsman and best man a few times and each times he's had to pay for his own suit rental so generally speaking he thinks the groomsmen will pay for themselves.

Hope this is helpful.

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses, but left them to organise their own hair and make-up. I said if they wanted to use the people that I was then they could pay to do so but with five of them I couldn't stretch to it myself. However I didn't require a set style so they were all able to do it themselves. My mum offered to get the flowergirl dress as it was her goddaughter. One of my MOHs did offer to buy her own dress, as she felt that as an adult she should, but I refused as I know her financial situation and knew that she couldn't spare the money.