Ok me and the OH were having a wedding talk earlier For the 2nd time he's said he doesn't want the big after party he doesn't like it So I asked him what does he want to do instead he said "Have a garden party with very close family and friends (no more than 40 ppl) and then go on an amazing honeymoon" It's got me thinking I really love this idea!! What do you's think? Go for it? Don't? Our original plan was small ceremony and big evening reception party Helppp xx
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
if its what you both want then go for it! x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorRachelE118
That sounds lovely but you haven't got very long lol! Xx
CommentAuthorkatielea100
all we'd have to do is book a holiday and cancel all the stuff weve booked lol OH is working tonight and left me to look up places to go xx
CommentAuthorStephanieK77
As long as you havent sent out any invites or told people they will be invited then yeah go ahead. It sounds beautiful.
I know a bride who is having a garden party.. She's doing it vintage theme with bunting, sandwiches and cakes! sounds so lovely!!
CommentAuthorLauraK7
If it's what you both want then do it My friends had a registry office wedding and a garden party afterward was lovely x
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Go for it; if it is what you both want! :)
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorkatielea100
After sleeping on it, it's not what I want at all, I won't be able to have my beautiful wedding car and having a photographer would seem pointless It's what OH wants because he's shy :/ We can go on a holiday anytime I only plan on getting married once so will have to have words with him lol xx
CommentAuthorLaurajanevintage
Good luck Hunni xx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
discuss what you both want hun and see if you can have a compromise, you can still have your dream wedding and he can still have the garden party theme by going for a golf club rather than a hotel, something more relaxed
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
we're having the big after party but instead of having a wedding list as we'll have lived together for a couple of years by then, we're going to put in a nice little poem asking for money to help with our honeymoon. Would you be able to do this? or have you already sent out a wedding list? xx
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorkatielea100
Our wedding is already relaxed it's just family to the ceremony and an evening party because he didn't want the fuss We haven't sent the invite yet but have asked for money as a gift, it's not the money that's the problem he just doesn't want a wedding lol If we could just sign the register and go home he would Pain in the butt!!! Xx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
there has to be some give and take with both of you, sit down and talk about how much it means to you, if not powers of seduction work wonders lol
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
ahhh fair enough, hopefully he will come round to the idea and have fun once its happening :) xx
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorLauraK7
Is there a specific party he's worried about I'm worried about the first dance but think we will just try and laugh it off
CommentAuthorkatielea100
Nope he just doesn't want the whole celebration bit lol he doesn't like people coming up to speak to you to congratulate you n stuff so he's just awkward lol Powers of subduction are off limits I'm on the coil and been constantly bleeding for 3 months get it out next week thankfully haha If I can still have my wedding car and photographer ect.. I'll do it so maybe this might be the give n take lol xx
CommentAuthorLauraK7
:-( To me it is about the vows and being together yes but I couldn't give up my big reception where I can relax and celebrate with everyone
CommentAuthorkatielea100
I actually hate him right now he's just taking the mick it's as if he doesn't want to marry me at all xx
CommentAuthorLauraF89
Can you not combine the two and have a massive garden party somewhere instead like a beautiful village hall with loads of outside space so that way you can have it inside and out and have all the big hooha in the evening as well as the garden party? Bring in caterers too and save money that way..maybe a bbq? xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
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CommentAuthorkatielea100
He doesn't even want anything No compromise with him I give up! Wouldn't be suprised if we don't even end up getting married My birthday tomoz too n he's just making me feel like crap :( xx
CommentAuthorLauraF89
Oooh no, why's he being so rubbish?!
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
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CommentAuthorkatielea100
Don't know, I'm willing to compromise but his answer to everything's "I cba" "I cba" "I cba" My stepdad is the most unsociable person ever and wants to just get married on a private beach abroad but even he's told my mum she can have what ever she wants xx
CommentAuthorLauraF89
Well if he "cba" then just do whatever you like, at least that way he can't say you haven't tried to involve him. He's not being very fair by being unresponsive when you're offering him a compromise. I'm sure if you carry on your way and don't check with him he'll soon come and ask what's going on and try to be involved.
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
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CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Oh sorry he's being like that, is there something bothering him? My fiancé was making me feel really rubbish about the wedding at one point, he never said he didn't want to do what we were doing and had said he was glad we booked where we had but he kept going on about how his life was **** and he had nothing going on for him, which made me feel like something you'd step in on the dog walking field.... after a good talking to he admitted it was only work he wasn't happy with and he needed to stop letting it control how he felt and the rest of his life.
I hope you get sorted soon hun, it's no fun planning a wedding when it feels like only one of you wants it
CommentAuthorLauraK7
edited
Yh if he cba then do what you want he's had his opportunity for input :-)
CommentAuthorNicky2988
Go for it, it's what we're doing! X
CommentAuthorkatielea100
Well he didn't even write out my birthday card, he did the one off the kids n left mine, I've not seen him today as he started work before I woke up He's been like this before and he was talking to a little t4rt he works with! Obviously wasn't happy but I thought we got over it But he's like this again and she's his top friend on a picture chat app going by the name snap chat I'm fuming He'll be lucky if he has a head when he walks through the door later He can't have the single life and family at the same time x
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
Happy Birthday :) that sucks that he didn't even write out your card. Maybe he has something planned for tonight? Think the chat could be innocent? Hope you get everything sorted when he gets home, he needs to buck up his ideas!! xx
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorFranM76
Ooooh nnnoooooo doesn't sound good hun. Happy Birthday. Think you need to have a real heart to heart with him, be frank, lay your cards on the table and tell him you expect him to do the same. Cracks need exposing properly before they can be filled otherwise they keep reappearing. This is your future husband hun, you need to be as open and honest as possible. Hope you get it sorted and hope you can enjoy the rest of your birthday xxx
CommentAuthorLauraF89
Oh that doesn't sound good, i hope you've had a chat with him and possibly got to the bottom of stuff?
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
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CommentAuthorVelcro
Oh dear katie, it deosnt sound like things are going well. you really need to have it out with him, his attitude stinks :/ Id be havign words about that girl. Boot on the other foot im sure he'd think there was something seedy goign on if some chap was the top of your snap chat thing. I dont use it myself, tbh, im abit behind on the times, but i beleive the general idea behind it is someone sends a pic and you see it for X seconds then its gone forever? There's only one conclusion id be drawing from that, if im honest :/
going back to the wedding thing, he HAS to compromise. just because he does/doesnt want something doesnt mean it should be set in stone as equally you DO want XY or Z, though i do think you have some other issues to iron out before tackling the wedding. though it would be good to bring up just to tell him how unbelievably selfish he is being over it.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
Katie has started a new thread now (I think it is called postponing). They were planning on postponing the wedding so they could use the money to go on a holiday and then get married abroad later.
Velcro I agree with you about the snapchat thing. Its definitely dodgey. xx
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorkatielea100
It is dodgy I've told him to delete them or the app itself and he goes "they're just work mates" yeah but he doesn't need to speak to them outside of work they arnt actually mates they're just people he works with but he doesn't get it xx
CommentAuthorVelcro
i do actually understand the work mates being friends outside of work part. but not the snapchat part. theres just regular text messaging for that. though, if you see them every day IN work, you shouldn't really need to be texting them outside of work all the time.
I dont think HE gets it tbh, its unbelievably dodgy with that whole app thing :/
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorkatielea100
He seen his ar$e when a make friend bought me a drink on a night out but he's fine to do this I'm upset that we're cancelling but the same time I'm glad because I don't want to marry someone who thinks this is acceptable when it's not xx
CommentAuthorclairenina
so pleased you are being sensible, but still sad that things aren't going right. Sounds like he has been very selfish. I hope he sees this and sorts himself out
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
Does he talk to other people on snapchat or just her? I've heard it is an addictive app so could possibly be innocent but I still don't like the sounds of it xxx
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Hmmmm very much double standards if another man can't even buy you an innocent drink, the snap chat sounds very dodgy-especially her being his top friend on there... but it could be innocent, either way though he should understand how you might feel considering he gets jealous over a drink.... I'm always wary of jealous/possessive people, a lot of the time it's because of a guilty conscience.
You def need to speak to him about it though and explain how it's made you feel.
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Snap chat doesn't go on top friends... Its the person who snapchaps people the most. I wouldnt jump to conclusions and assume things. x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Ahh fair enough, I don't use it so didn't know that, yeah that sounds very dodgy
CommentAuthorkatielea100
It's not innocent He's been caught deleting texts off her previously I've seen his snap history it's all him n her all the way down it! X
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I'm glad you said that to be honest, as I didn't think it sounded innocent but didn't want to say that straight out in case you got upset or took offence.
Have you seen him or spoke to him about it yet?
CommentAuthorLauraK7
Ahhh sorry to hear this you seemed really happy earlier on the abroad wedding Hope you get it sorted
CommentAuthorkatielea100
Spoke about it numerous times but he won't do anything about it because he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong Which he might not be but it's not the point he knows I've caught him previously with flirty messages then the rest of the convo deleted which he admitted to because he said he'd knew id flip! Well don't bloody do it then! lol Want him to delete her because it makes me feel uneasy and crappy but because he thinks he's doing nothing wrong (which it could be innocent) that he won't delete her GRRR xx
CommentAuthorNelinde
edited
I'm sorry your dealing with this atm :( And tbh whether he gets it or not, what he should be getting is how it's making you feel! It maybe innocent it maybe not, but if he really cared for you he wouldn't want to make you feel like this so would stop it regardless! My OH had this one tramp constantly flirting with him via Skype, and I mean full on flirting, trying to get him to leave me and the kids to be with her etc! They had been friends for years through a pc game, and it was all onesided, he used to tell me about it anytime she tried anything on and laugh about it. But once I told him I didn't want him talking to her and the reasons why, the word tramp was enough lol!, he told her to f off and blocked her! Your OH should be doing something along the same lines if he loves you! Hope you get it all sorted out soon <3
Getting ready to marry my soul mate! :-D
CommentAuthorkatielea100
That's exactly what I said to him nelinde Apparently I need to stop being paranoid and a crazy b1tch Hold on a min who's fault is it I'm paranoid! He's getting me so mad, so glad I'm out for a few drinks tonight with the best friend Might just start texting a random guy see how he likes it grrrr xx