i know this is a problem for a lot of couples planning their weddings, but i am sooo stuck with the top table! from what i have seen on websites/magazines, a traditional top table consists of the couple (obviously) both sets of parents, BMan and MoH - is this right?? have been having a "debate" with the MIL2B that ALL the BMs should be seated on the top table - i have 3 adult BMs and H2B has 2 Best Men!! aslo... my Parents have both divorced and both have new partners - so has H2Bs but his biological father wont b attending. ideally i would just prefer my mum and dad at the top table, but seein as they both have partners i KNOW this will cause arguments - especially as H2Bs "step-dad" will b up there too - so how can we say yes to one and no to the others?? and if i have them all up there - thats 13 people to teh top table!!! unlucky and 1 heck of a toptable!! lol any help/advise/suggestions please?? gettin so stressed out about this :( xXx
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
i hav a moh and c cheif bridesmaid only 1 is sittin at top table! so he needs to choose wich one really! i wudnt hav bridesmaids on it just ure MOH then both sets of parents wiv their parteners-aslong as they been 2geva a while tho wudnt if they just meet
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorloola_hoop
ah yeh, they have been together for years, dad is married, mum is engaged - just never got round to the actual weddin bit! lol how wud u chose one best man over the other tho? do u think it would work to have neither best men or bridemaids?? just us and parents? and have best men and BMs on tables closest to top table?
CommentAuthorFaeth
I think these days you can have whatever works for you at the top table. Some couples even just have a little table with just them on it, and others do away with the top table all together and just sit at a round table with everyone else. I've heard of some people just having the attendants at the top table with them and no parents at all to get around divorced/remarried issues.
I'm have MOH, FOB, MOB, B2b, H2b, BestM, MOG, FOG, Bm, Bm. Thats my seating plan =S for the top table Xx
CommentAuthorUnknown
dont try to please everyone else. just please you and your h2b. tell everone that it is your wedding and you have enough stress without other people adding to it but pleasing everyone!
we are having my parents who are divorced, us, 2 bm, best man and thats it. xx
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
I am going with what we want, so it is us (of course), my parents, his parents, the best man and my 3 kids, the MOH will want to sit with her sexy french boyf, lol and the the other BM will sit with her family. x
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CommentAuthorUnknown
just had a thought...
why dont you do the main table with you, h2b, parents, best man and then have a second table where everyone else that is really improtant goes like step dad, bm etc?
We are having 2 family tables next to top table both our families are big xx
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
am lettin my moh and chief decide between them!!! so let them do same! u wont htem on table aswell as all the parent/step parents!!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorKirsty4Paul
ugh so pleased to see Im not alone with this issue!! my mum and dad are both remarried and pauls dad is too but his mum is on her own, plus 2 bridesmaids and 3 best men!! dont really wanna split up my parents from their other halfs and cant have a top table that big! so Ive been thinking might just have best men, bridesmaids and us on the top table and then just have the parents on the closest table to us. Think my mums a bit miffed about it but like you say u cant please everyone! and i wanna be on a fun table not an awkward one!!!
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
awwwwww i got an idea!! cos ure mum ain got a partner n to keep numbers let both best man b on the table! equal numbers then
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
we're having cheif bridesamaid and both best men on the top table.
The ushers and bridesmaids will sit with each other on another table with their partners.
my H2B's divorced parents have new partners but the new partners will not be on the head table, but they will be on the table closest to the top table as a compromise.
So to follow robynfrances my seating plan is:
MOH, MOB, FOB, BRIDE, GROOM, MOG, FOG, BM1, BM2
The question I have is what shape table??
I always thought it would be a long table, but my H2B wants it to be a round table so people can talk to each other.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorUnknown
we are having a long table for main table and all the others will be round xx
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
ues i rperfer long table a round table wont look important n will just blend in
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
thats what I think! Head table = long all other tables = round.
But we went to a wedding last year and their head table was round - and i think H2B has just got it into his head.
But isnt the point of the headtable to let all the guests see the bridal party ?
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
yes! tell him to be quiet n do wat u wanna do hahahaha long table is better 4 speeches 2!!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorrebeccalou21
I am thinking about just having my two older bm's and the 2 best men so we dont upset offend anyone, having said that if they didnt sit on the top table then they would be sitting with their partners. I also think the top table should be long, although it is harder to talk easily, you get to see everything that is going on and also people do want to take pictures still. I know it is hard to please everyone but at the end of the day it is your special day and people should respect your wishes
CommentAuthorKimberlee1
Me and my H2b were only discussing this yesterday and have decided that only our best man MOH groomsmen and bridesmaids will be sitting at our top table. As my parents and his parents have been divorced, dont get on and have re married. So this would be ideal for us
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17th August 2012 I'll be Missus Matthews <3
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
crikey ure decided that n got 28 months left i thought i was bad wiv 18 months lol
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
edited
there have already been comments made by my step mum about the fact mum and dad will be sitting at the top table and my mum said she'd rather my step mum was at the table :S To be honest i'd much rather not have a top table :( Steve's Parents won't be there as his mum has had nothing to do with him for years and he doesn't know his dad x
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
thats nice of ur emum tho to want or not b bothered step mum there 2!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
It is and she's been very good about the whole thing, it's taken her years to get over dad, but it's just i don't see why she should be on the table, we don't really get on, she's only my step mum, and it's not as if mum's got a partner to make it fair at the table if she did sit there.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
true! mayb think about a 'partner' 4 ure mum ,for instance if ure mum has a unmarried brother or if ure mums dad still here?
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorlovelylainee
Trust me guest list and table planning is the worst bit of it all - I have planned mine already but if people call or email to say they cant make it so we invite someone else I have to change my whole wedding table plan cuz sum people won't sit near others etc.
Grief lol! x
I married the love of my life 23/06/2012
Our little boys are so cute!
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
awww i will b doin my guests table plan how i want n i wont listen to people sayin i wanna sit wiv so n so or i dont wanna1 i wont put the obvious 2geva ( exs etc) obviously but thats it
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
Reading through this thread makes me glad I don't have any of this addred stress - you have my sympathies ladies! Went to one wedding last yr that shared similar probs with divorced parents etc. 2 Best men and a pile of BM's too! They had MoH and BOTH best men along with biological only parents at the top table then a separate wedding party table up front with everyone else on. The Bride was really stressed about it all though and I know how hard these decisions can be x
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CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
the only stress i got is well bit of a biggy h2b dad is an arse doesnt get him a card or sayin happybirthday/xmas for years we tried last yr and took him a card n wine round but then luke got nothing back! he just dont do anything wiv my h2b or his sister. Now his auntie n nan do and we luv them to bits they will be at our weddin but his 'biological' dont even like to say dad isnt , his auntie knows but his nan doesnt ( she lost her husband and daughter 2 yrs ago) so she will be upset wen she finds out!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
i have come to the conclusion that if people dont like it they can lump it.
I dont want anyone telling me how to do my wedding other than my h2b.
I will listen to what people have to suggest/say, but no way am i being forced to change anything for anyone. If i do at my wedding whats the rest of my married life going to be like.
any way, my family I can deal with, very simple no divorces or anything. Its the other side that might get tricky.
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorloola_hoop
i know this sounds silly, but being a mum of 3 (4 in May!) i would be gutted if i wasnt allowed to sit at the top table of my Kids' weddings (although i would never make this known to them :) ) so i do want to have my parents at the top table, and H2B mum has been amazing with everythin that has happened to us over the past year - so deffo want her there too! and i really cant b bothered with arguments!! lol so i think i will have all 3 sets of parents - and me n H2B. Bridesmaids and Best Men can all sit on tables closest the top table - with their own families. i know my step-mother is still gonna have summin to say about my mum n dad having to sit on the same table - but my mum and dad WILL be there, so she can either sit with my dad, or on a different table on her own!!! lol
think this sounds fair? :/ lol xxx
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
yes!!
i think it does. i have already taken my H2Bs step father to one side and explained to him why we have decided not to have step parents on the top table, and I have told him how special he is to us, and he is lovely and totally understands.
i just wish everyone would be as understanding - but im not going to put up with any childish squabbles - if you want to argue about it then that means that you really dont care about me and my h2b because if you did you would go along with our choices and let us enjoy our day - surely thats what should happen when people love you and care for you - they shut up and let you have your day!
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Is it unfair that i don't want my step mum on the top table as we really dont get on! xx
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
edited
Im not having any step parents on the table.
the top table for me is for the people who I want to thank. i thank my parents for bringing me up I thank my h2b parents for him I thank my maid of honour for helping me organise the wedding I thank the best man for helping my h2b with the wedding
To me being on the top table is a sign that you want to show everyone that these people play a special role on your special day and preparing your special day.
If they havent helped with any part of the day, or if they havent helped mold you into who you are or your h2b then why should they be on the top table.
The top table is an honour. thats how i see it anyway. x
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorSoon2BBlackwell
edited
Hi, I've just started wedding planning and just found this site. I've tried to get my head round the top table as my parents are divorced, mum remarried and dad has a new girlfriend. In the end ive decided on:
our eldest son/ h2b brother (groomsman)/ my stepdad/ my mum/ h2b/ me/ my dad/ h2b mum/ h2b dad/ our youngest son
the best man wont be on the top table because his +1 wont want to sit on her own and my maid of honour has 2 young children and i think her hubby will struggle with them on his own. Ok, 10 is a big top table but i dont think i could have any less.
Holly
Time to lose some weight so i look my best on our day!
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CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
See rhiannonollie I totally agree with that but my mum is adamant my step mum should be at the table and we've been getting into a bit of a tiff because i DON'T want her at the top table, we are only related through marriage not blood and We really do not get on at all.
CommentAuthorUnknown
wait until your friends start talking out where they want to be sat!!
i have one friend and he said to me "make sure i am set next to ellen!" my reply was no, you wont be she will be on the top table as she is bm! immediatley after he said "well then, make sure i am sat next to Robyn. Again my reply was no, she is my sister so will be on the family table!!
I couldnt believe the check of it. i would never say to a friend where i will sitting at their wedding!!
xx
CommentAuthorloola_hoop
ohh this is another problem i have been having!! lol i was planning on sitting some of my family/friends with some of H2Bs family/friends - so that every1 is sittin wid sum1 they know and also a few they dont so that in theory by the end of the night both familes should feel a lil more comfortable around each other - but... every1 has sed NOOOO!!!! :( they all wana be sat with people they know!! so room in 2 halfs at the end of thie night?? probably :(
CommentAuthorUnknown
we are going to do the family tables and if that means families are mixed then tough. they have to get to know each other. they have said its only one day and prob wont all be togther again and i said what about kids christening or bd parties so i am just mixing them but making sure they know at least one other person on the table. xx
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
im doing that half my family and half h2b family on each table - but I am making sure to put likeminded people together.
Grandparents from both sides together with great aunties etc on one table
Uncles and aunties from both sides together
so Im keeping the ages as well so that everyone on a table is of similar age.
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorloubyscooby
My top table is FOB,MOB,SON, Bride, Groom,Daughter, BM, BM wife and then put BM's with parents and OH's.... so far so good but its the tables giving me a nightmare
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Erm... i would love to do that but none of my family (Mum and dads side) really dont get on! oohhh god it's going to be a disaster!!
CommentAuthornickers
we havent done our seating plan as yet but were having our 3bm sat at the top table xx
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
I think other than the top table im going to be doing a free seating thing for all they can sit where they want with who they want!
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
the seating plan was actually the very very first thing i did - well the guest list first which was easy - and then the seating plan - before anything else!
its a lot harder than it looks though!!
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
How about you and h2b sit on a sweetheart table and then you can spread the bridal party and parents in with the guests. At least that way there is no fighting and falling out.
CommentAuthorboo
aww I love that idea. I just gave that idea to H2B and he just frowned at me lol, hes really traditional like that
Can't wait to be Mrs Foster 21/06/2012 :D
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CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
Both me and the h2b don't like to stand out as such so we are mingling in on a round table in the middle of all the others. At least then we don't stick out like a sore thumb.
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
I have now decided our top table will be as follows
