I'm looking at sorting our invites out, but cannot decide on an R.S.V.P date
As my venue wants two months notice of numbers I do have to have an early R.S.V.P date, however one of my bridesmaids thinks I should say 8th April (getting married 8th August) I think this is a little too early, she thinks then I could leave people another month to reply and then have a month to chase them, personally I think May the 8th and then I have a month to chase people and don't leave any time after the date before I start chasing? What is the done thing?
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
From experience, i'd give yourself a month to chase.
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Yeah I was planning on leaving a month to chase, I just don't agree with leaving two months and leaving a month after the date to start chasing. Personally I think if you miss an R.S.V.P date you should fully expect people to start asking you about whether you are coming or not as soon as the dates passed. I just think having the R.S.V.P date 4 months before the wedding is a bit excessive as well
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
I don't think you need more than a month to chase.
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
My rsvp date is 15th may (3 months before wedding)
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I gave July 15th for a wedding on the 6th October so that I had more than the 6 weeks I had to give numbers to the venue.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I would definitely give yourself time to chase (though we didn't actually need to in the end), but I'd say 2-3 weeks is plenty for chasing depending on how busy you are (had anyone not RSVP'd on time they'd have got a quick phone call saying I needed to know then and there and if they ummed and ahhed, I'd politely have informed them that I'd have to take that as a no). If you plan on bumping anyone up though, I would give yourself around 6 weeks (we had some people on a reserve list, so we had 2 lots of invitations made up, with RSVP deadlines 6 weeks apart).
Then you need to allow time to get the numbers to the venue/finalise menu selections etc. Ours was quite complicated as we were offering guests several choices; so I had to do the table plan showing where each person was sitting, what they were eating and drinking, and then how many of each dish was going to each table, etc. This didn't take masses of time, but it was a couple of weeks before I completed it.
So to be comfortable I'd have a deadline somewhere around 3-4 months before your wedding, depending on your situation, so, 1st April isn't mega early.
CommentAuthorclairenina
we gave a month on our RSVP's and started to chase after the date. My cousin chased me for his RSVP 3 weeks before the due date
CommentAuthorbarbie86
clairenina: that is SO rude! I swear some people don't understand how RSVPs work!
CommentAuthorclairenina
I know lol, I thought the same, it made me feel like he was hoping we'd say "no", so he could make a start on his reserve list.....we did say no lol
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Lol. I'm pretty sure I might have unintentionally annoyed someone because it took me about 4 weeks to remember to RSVP to my OH's friend (OH is best man at their wedding). In my defence, the date has been in my diary for ages, and they sent invitations out in October for an end of August wedding... So it kinda wasn't top of my list of things to do lol. But I was half expecting a call asking why we hadn't RSVP'd ;-)
CommentAuthorFlossie
Our venue only want final numbers at least 14 days before the wedding. I think I will give a window of 2 months x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I think it depends as well on when the venue want numbers by. Ours wanted 6 weeks prior to the wedding, that's why I added the few weeks onto it for chasing
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Well like I say, the venue want 2 months.... so that means it does need to be 3 or 4 months before for the R.S.V.P
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I'd say three months then.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
We are the same donna 2 months for the venue. Rsvp 3 months prior to that x
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorFlossie
I'd be tempted to go for nearer 4 months to be honest x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorJennK
I think it depends on what your guests are like and what else is going on. Eg. if nobody had save the dates and some weren't aware of the date I would get out sooner. But if its a close group who are reliable and know the date there is less pressure. I know my friends are useless personally!
Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3
CommentAuthorAprilS61
I would probably say 3 months.
We have a date of 21st Feb (was going to do week before but wouldnt expect much on valentines and my birthday is week before on 7th) for our wedding on 4th April. 6 weeks to chase ours. My venue just want to know 3 weeks before.
