Wedding Forum - Not the bridesmaids(the norm!!) but the...

Ok, so we are buying suits instead of renting, the rental cost with shoes etc was coming in around £145 for the suit then they'd need to buy shoes so at least £190 ... Well we decided to buy as the rentals didn't look right on h2b and he wanted a more skinny fitted suit that he could keep to look back on.
So fast forward... Found a suit costing £200 which is from river island, really quirky and different in like a maroon burgundy brown colour that h2b loved,my dad and his dad have bought there's etc... And we always agreed from the start with the best man and groomsmen that they would buy theirs...
Today he has had texts off one and a phone call off another (they are twins) saying they think it's rude that we've asked then to buy the suits or even rent them and that it should be something we fork out...I think it's damn cheeky they've even said it and h2b said about it being an honour they've been asked in the first place.
It's not like we can wait around as they may go out of stock and they can't really wear anything else as the suit is quite different and unique ... And we only have 5months to the wedding!! I'm feeling very stressed out.
The point is,any of his friends that aren't involved in the actual wedding are only invited to the evening as the meal is £70pp and we just couldn't afford to have everyone there,and I'm a bit mad that we've included them and now they're snapping at us like this over a suit! H2b feels he should tell them not to be groomsmen but I don't think they realise that if they choose not to do the role,they'll be evening only...
The reason it's wound me up is that they both have full time jobs and both still live with their mum...they are being sooo tight!! It's not fair :-(

I can see where they are coming from, I would be very annoyed if my h2b was asked to be best man but only if he paid £200+ for his suit. We simply wouldn't be able to afford it & he would have had to decline the offer, which is exactly what they should have done.
I think it is very rude that they have left it until now to let you know, they should have told you both straight away.

Yeah they are being completely unreasonable.

I was also thinking £200 is a lot and if my fiancé was asked to be best man but had to pay that he'd have to say no, however if they'd agreed up to £300 and they are paying out like that for other things.... it just seems like they have decided they'd rather spend their money in other places and you should foot the bill for that.

You need to speak to them and explain that you cannot afford the suits and if they expect you to pay for them then they'll have to step down as it just won't be happening. I know that doesn't completely help you so close to the wedding, but I hope you sort something out.

What they earn and do with their money is up to them, as annoying as it is. They probably got caught up in the excitement of being asked and agreed to the £300 limit without thinking, probably thinking you would find something alot cheaper. I personally think if your chosen outfit is more than £100 for groomsmen/bridesmaid, you should pay or make up the balance, so they pay £100 and you pay £100. My BMs dresses are costing £200 but I wouldnt dream of asking my friends to pay for them, even though they all have joint incomes of £50k more than me and hubby! I agree its inconsiderate on their part not to have broached the subject with you before now, but id suggest either telling them to 'stand down' or compromise and split the cost 50/50.

Aw I'm so sorry Hun but £300 is a lot to ask someone to spend (sorry) could turn not find a cheaper alternative on the Internet? X

I think I have to agree with the others...although its frustrating it is quite a lot of money for something that, if its quirky as you say, then they aren't necessarily going to be able to wear again...is there no way you can come to a compromise? find out what they are willing to pay and see if you can come up with the difference. I know its annoying that they already agreed but its still quite a lot of money. I know the bridesmaids paid for theirs but in comparison you are only asking them to pay £44 for a dress (which they realistically being girls would have paid on a new outfit for the wedding anyway) most guys have a suit they usually wear for a wedding so don't usually have that expense to pay out...? xx

I agree with the other ladies: £200 just for the suit is a lot (presumably they will need a shirt, tie and shoes too?), and it's even more when it's such an unusual style, and so one they're not likely to wear again. If as a couple you want a specific look for your bridal party, you should pay.

I get that they agreed originally; but they might have assumed you meant something more 'standard' like a grey lounge suit, that they could wear again. As for what they spend their money on: that's not really any of your business in all honesty.

If either myself or H2B were asked to fork out anything LIKE £200 to be in someone's bridal party, we'd politely decline; there are many, many more things we could spend that money on.

could they not wear something similar? try to tie in the colours but in different suits? H2B will just stand out in his own suit...or maybe have them in just the matching tousers and/or waistcoat? its the jacket that costs the fortune, I assume? Going off your theme, i dont think it would look too out of place if the two boys go for the slightly more informal look?

i saw pics where the groomsmen were just in trousers with the shirts and rolled up sleeves and still thought it looked really smart, despite the informal look of it?

I agree with the others- We didn't dream of asking any of the bridal party to pay towards their outfits, we asked them to be a part therefore they shouldn't pay for the privilege! I know that is not what you want to hear, but £200 is a lot of money to ask someone to spend on a wedding!

I do agree that they have left it a bit late to tell you though, if they were previously made aware of how much you were going to spend then they should have declined there and then.

Sorry sweetie but I agree with the others too. £200 is a lot of money and not a lot of people can afford to pay that amount on a outfit. I know if it was the other way around and I was a bridesmaid there is no way I could pay £200 for a dress. Maby get the grooms men to hier there own suits, then get then to where a tie/cravat and waist coat in your chosen collars? The groom will stand out but I don't think that matters as he is the groom. The grooms men will still look great, if you don't tell any one it will look like it is done on purpous :). Xx

i think the issue is that they agreed on the price quite some time ago, and now its come to paying are deciding actually, they now dont want to pay that. i get the issue with it being alot of money, but if it were me, i would have said outright, i cant afford that, is there anything we can do that suits us both? for them to be all tra la la yes im happy to pay that, then not, without good reason, i think is a bit unfair and that has what has pee'd kel off.

Why couldn't they have just manned up and said so at the time?