Just a bit of a rant about my mum sorry! Since I got engaged she hasn't seemed bothered about the wedding (I understand this may be because it's quite far away but it upset me a bit), so over the past month or so I have been trying my best to tell her lots of things about it and ask her opinions on everything, but all she keeps saying is I should go abroad to get married! Yes we have considered this as it may be cheaper for us but after much discussion we decided against it, this is due to a number of reasons but mainly that we both want our grandparents to see us get married but mine are almost 80 and H2B's are 89, so they won't fly and my best friend (MOH) can't afford flights and accommodation etc, as she is a single mum, but when I tell my mum this she just shrugs and gives me a stupid look. Even when my H2B mentioned people from his large family that wanted to be at the wedding she shouted at him that she thinks we should go away. I know it might sound harsh but I wouldn't put it past her to want it abroad because she just wants a holiday out of my wedding, but she just will not even listen to me saying anything else, she says she is trying to help us save money but not considering what we actually want.
She has also recently said I am too young to be getting married which is strange seeing as when I marry I will be the same age as her and my dad were when they got married! I understand that I'm her oldest daughter and she might just be upset that I'm starting a new life but there is no need for her to be the way she is!
Sorry I just needed to get that off my chest! Thank you if you have read to the end :) xx
Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
The fact that your mum shouted at your OH about getting married abroad makes me think there is something underlying that she's not saying maybe more than she might be trying to get a holiday. That being said as someone who's mother isn't in her life for reasons where she pretty much used me and my siblings as a source of income until the youngest grew too old to be of use so she took off it is possible she could be that selfish but I would hope not.
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
CommentAuthorFlossie
Maybe she wants something different for you upon reflection of her own wedding day? She shouldn't force anything upon you though and should respect what you want and your decisions. The only way to solve this would be to sit down and have a proper chat with her, get everything out in the air xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
I am hoping that it's not that she wants a holiday out of it but lately she has become so selfish so I'm starting to think she does. I have tried talking to her about things but she's not the type of person that you can sit down to have a proper chat with because all she does is go 'mmm' and then doesn't listen and shouts over you to the point were you can't get a word in. xx
Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
My mum doesn't show that much interest really and I thought it was cos her and my dad divorced when I was 18, but when she saw me in my dress she got really emotional even though she's not shown an interest since... Just the way she is I guess x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
you still have lots of time hopefully she will come round and be the mum you want her to be and need her to be xx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
If this is how you feel then don't tell her about anything, just go ahead and plan she will eventually ask you after a while and take an interest
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
STOP TELLING HER STUFF,
mine kept saying that we ought to do a reg office and then a pub meal ,under the guise of saving money ...so i told here that as we were paying for it we would spend what we wanted ..then stopped mentioning it , after a while i got a call from my dad saying that she felt she wasn't being included ..i replied with " why would i say things only to be put down each time ".... i think he had a word !!!!!
I would probably agree and stop telling her things. I think it seems as if there's something that's bothering her? Can you confront her and ask why she doesnt seem to have much interest and why she wants youto go abroad? If there isn't anything underlying, then just leave her be with all wedding things for a while and she might take an interest a bit nearer the time or when you go dress shopping etc x
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
My mum kept telling us to get married abroad but now that everything is booked she has been fine, she kept saying it would be cheaper but as a family of 5 I doubt it would have been. She came dress shopping with me a few weeks ago & every dress I walked out in she said 'that's the one' lol, I can see that she's not going to be much help with picking a dress.
CommentAuthorFlossie
It would be hard to just stop telling her things though, I can't imagine having to keep things away from my mum.. I love talking about our plans with her because well, she's my mum! I feel so blessed that I'm not having any of these problems with close family.. really sorry for all of you who are having problems and finding it difficult :( x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorJennK
Mums are funny aren't they :) mine is still trying to push us towards a vintage country garden wedding, which isn't us at all! When I tired on a very lacey dress purely because it was a gold colour and I wanted to see how it worked with my skin, she hopped up and down saying that had to be the one and she loved it. I felt like an old lady in it! So we have moments where I have to tell her to shut up, and she understands that.
Definitely see if you can have a chat with her about it at least help to clear the air a little?
Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3
CommentAuthorAmandaK74
im 33yrs old and left home when I was 16 and have pretty much figured adult life out on my own. But at my age Id still like my mum to be a big part of my wedding planning and support me, but like you she does not show much interest, it does hurt my feelings at times but you just have to keep your chin up and do what ever makes you and your partner happy, im sure she will support you as the day draws near, im hoping at some point mine will
met 11th December 2010
engaged 2nd August 2013
getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
Thanks Ladies, I am hoping she will come around eventually! I want to stop telling her things hoping she might start asking herself in the end but I don't think she will do. She very rarely shows enthusiasm in anything I do but I wonder if my wedding will be different. My best friend, sister and auntie have said that they will come dress shopping and do anything else to help if she doesn't come around, so at least I have some people that are interested :) x
Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Sadly my mum passed away a few years ago so I expected my dad and step mum to excited and basically how you described and for the first few months of proper planning I felt like no one seemed bothered however recently it's liked stuff have completely 180. My dad said because I'm so independent he didn't want to tread on my toes and then admitted my step mum was talking to him about wedding and how she was excited which I found odd as to me she was bored of hearing about it. Now with less than 12 months to go things are getting to where I imagined. All I would say is focus on the plans and bring them up every now and again and anything you want her to be part of ask her, you see to have a good network with your friend sister and aunt which I know aren't the same as a mum but focus on the excitement and enjoy :)
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
<3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3