Wedding Forum - Groom to arrange suits?...

I'm having a bit of a disagreement with my OH at the moment regarding suits. We've asked my dad and his 2 best men (brother and his dad) to give us their measurements so that we can start keeping a look out for suits and hopefully get a good deal. I've been having a little look at what's available online today and have been letting OH know what I've found etc. and he's said thanks but to remember that the suits are his choice.

Now this is where I have an issue. I completely understand if he doesn't want me to see his suit before the day or have any involvement in choosing it (he is having different to the groomsmen) but I do want to be involved with choosing the suits for the groomsmen 1) so I know I like them 2) so I know they go with everything else. He's saying he wants me to trust him to arrange them himself and that he wants to surprise me on the day.

I involved OH in the selection of the bridesmaids dresses - he wasn't that bothered about it I don't think but I wanted to involve him and have his seal of approval before I ordered them, as ultimately it's OUR day and it's a decision I think that should have been made together. I thought we would plan everything together, apart from the choosing of my dress and the choosing of his suit.

Also, left to his own devices, I can see OH spending a small fortune on suits without me nagging him about the price!! I'm happy for him to find something he likes and then double check with me, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with him taking hold of the reins completely.

Am I being bridezilla for wanting to be a part of choosing the suits, or should I take a step back and trust him? What would you do/are you doing? xx

I'm not even bothered about seeing them on the groomsmen, just seeing a picture online would be okay, just so I had a rough idea of what they were like. I'm happy for him to take the lead on it but I'd just like to have an input too - even if it's just a 'yeah they're nice, go ahead'.

I'm texting him now and he's saying he's not being as hands on with the wedding planning as he'd like, although I've been involving him in every single decision. The other month we sat down together and I showed him loads of stuff I'd seen online so I could get his opinion, but he was more interested in watching telly! I get that the suits are a 'man thing' and he wants to be in charge, I'm not denying him that, I'm just not sure I'd like to be 'surprised' on the day lol x

can you not suggest a session trying on with you him and BM? this is what we are planning and them him taking the groomsmen and dads after he/we have picked on? that way he has full decisions of the suit but you have involvement?

perhaps he could then pick the waistcoat?

does he know the style.. tails etc? if you can decide on that before then at least you have a rough idea of what he will be wearing.

We've already discussed ideas so I know the colours and the style. They're all going to be normal lounge suits, no tails or anything. The groomsmen will be in all grey with navy ties, and OH in navy with a grey tie, and they're going to have pocket folds to match the colours of my bridesmaids dresses (pastel colours). All of them with brown shoes. So in general I know what he's going to choose but I'd still like to see whatever he does end up choosing for the groomsmen! My main worry is he would get carried away and spend a lot of money I think! x

To be fair Flossie, I agree with you on this..... I'd like to be there with OH to pick the suits but after that I'll leave it up to him and the groomsmen to be fitted and put it all together. I will liaise with the shop regarding colours etc but I'd like to be there initially. OH has left all planning so far up to me so i would like to be in on this too x

Yep hubby chose the pattern of the waistcoat, we went in wanting something totally different. Something more casual, but the chap talked hubby round to tails. I was adamant though that he was not having purple. The chap in the shop tried but I said no, the cravat needs to be green, the girls are in purple and the men need green as my accessories were green, shoes, ribbon on bouquet etc.

it sounds like you basically know exactly what they are having and just worrying about price. Can you not tell him the budget he is allowed for them. Also is there anyone going with him to pick suits that you could mention too and they can make sure he doesnt go overboard x

When we were thinking about suits the only thing I said was that it needed to be a lighter shade of grey, this is because it would go with the other colours for the wedding and as oh wears suits everyday for work he already has a blue, black and dark grey suit i didnt want him looking like he does everyday of the year!

In the end I ended booking his appointment for him and his step dad(best man) to go try on suits as we are hiring them. We had already had a good look on line together, and it turned up to be a family morning out. there was me, oh, his step dad, his sister(bridesmaid) and his Mum. I loved seeing him try on suits and let him chose the style(he decided on tails in the end) he also choose a few different waistcoats to try on and we both agreed on the same one.

After seeing what some of the men were choosing for their attire I am so glad I went with oh. I would be mortified by what some of them were wearing. Luckily for me oh has great taste and I didnt have much influence in the end.

If I was you id want to at least see a picture of what he is looking at having as men arent always the best at matching colours etc.

My husband was the same. He said if I choose what I wear and he doesn't get to see it, it's only fair he does the same. We came to a compromise in the end, as I said as he's colour blind, I don't want any colour disasters. He picked everything for him and his Dad, and I just "supervised" to make sure there were no disasters lol

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I went with my husband to try on. We had already looked at the catalogues, and the only real decision was in the jackets. We knew the colours we needed, and were advised by the staff there to go for ivory waistcoats to go with the gold in my dress, and then blue cravats and hankies to match the bridesmaids dresses. He did consult me on the jacket, and I knew instantly which one looked better, and fortunately he agreed, but I was glad I was there.

I can understand you wanting to know that the suits are suitable and within budget.

Personally I was going to leave hubby to it but he wanted me to go with him to choose everything then he'd just organise all the men to get together for measurements etc. I was more than happy to do it as meant at least I was confident that I'd approve of all of the attire.

Don't think you're being bridezilla at all.

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Hmmm ok, how interesting LOL