My dad passed away a few months before I was born and my mum never remarried so I've never had a father figure in my life and because of this my older brother will be walking me down the isle,
Now I'm unsure of asking him to make a speech after the meal because I don't want him to think I'm putting him in place of our dad or trying to just fill a void, but then he's my big brother who I've always looked up to and who has always taken an interest in the things I do and the stuff I make, (and complained when the stuff I make is a mess lol)
I probably wouldn't want to ask my mum to do it because she suffered with anxiety issues and would most likely melt...
Never having met my dad it's not like I'm trying to replace him and I'm really worried that I'll get upset on the day because he's not there (which is stupid right? because how can I miss something I never had)
So my dilemma is I don't know whether to ask my brother and risk him feeling uncomfortable or just have no speech at all?? There would still be my then husband's speech and 2 best man speeches,
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i would say to your brother that you would love him to make a speech , however this is entirely up to him and you only want him to do what he is happy with , that way he knows how you feel but that there is np pressure on him if he would rather not
A work colleague of mine is getting married next month, and her h2b's father passed away a number of years ago.... His uncle has asked if he can give the speech on behalf of their family. He will not be part of the bridal party as such, but it has been agreed that he will.
I think it's a lovely personal touch to have someone from the family to welcome the other person into the family, but it is entirely up to you. If you really want your brother to make a speech you should ask him, all he can do is say no...
CommentAuthorloustew2012
hey
id still ask him anyway as he is giving you away and im sure he has such wonderful tales to tell lol. but on the other hand assure him that he doesnt have to do it and he doesnt want to and that you will still love for him to give you away, you never know maybe he wants to.
xx
All the ways of my life id rather be with you.
Theres no way without you.
10.11.12
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
I agree with the others, your brother will probably jump at the chance because he will have lots of stories of you growing up and what a delight/pain in the neck you were. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a dad on their big day and so many people have close relatives instead. Leave the choice up to your brother, I think he will surprise you. x
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
The Father of the Bride speech doesnt HAVE to come from the Father of the Bride. I went to an Indian/British wedding last year, the Brides parents are Indian and although her Dad speaks good English, he didnt feel confident enough to speak his 2nd language in front of 200 guests. (Yes 200 day time guests!!!) Her brother (who was bought up in England) gave the 'Father of the Bride' speech. Its mainly to represent someone on your side of the family, you're older brother will be giving you away so I think it'd be an honour for him to do a speech. Maybe you could ask him to encorporate a toast to your Dad? (Providing that wont have you in floods of tears!!)
Its your day and you should do it your way. xxxx
CommentAuthorBristolBride
Thanks ladies I really appreciate the advice!!
I think I will ask him if he'd like to do a speech, I'll let him know that he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to tho
I feel really silly for getting wound up over something I never had in he first place y'know, I know it's gonna feel weird on the day and i worry it'll feel like something is missing
I love my brother to bits so I hope he's ok with it,
He's in town this weekend so I'll ask him then
CommentAuthorMel D
My "Father of the bride" speech was given by my uncle xx
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
Mine will be given by my son
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Hi, I lost my dad too when I was 7, so my mum is walking me down the aisle as I thought it should still be a parent - she was surprised when I asked and suggested my older brother, but when I said I wanted a parent to give me away she seemed quite touched. She has categorically said she doesn't want to do a speech though, but I'm still going to allow her a few minutes as I'm sure on the day she will have something to say, if not just a toast to my dad on my wedding day. My older brother is a graphic designer so he's doing all our stationery, so I asked my younger brother (who's more of a crowd pleasing public speaker) if he would do me a brother of the bride speech, and he said he was priveliged to have been asked! Since then my older brother has asked about the speech as well as he feels as older brother he should say something, so now I have both brothers doing some sort of double act on the day, details to be revealed as a surprise!
The way I put it about the speech was that usually these things are done by the dad, but as we didnt have that option I'd really like it to be done by someone who knows me well, such as my brother - he took it a lot better than I thought as I thought he might be reluctant to do it but was genuinely flattered that I'd thought of him! And now I have 2 for the price of 1 too!
So ask away, I'm sure he'd be chuffed xx
CommentAuthorkrisw86
my brother is doing it as our dad died in 2009. he was overjoyed to be asked for everything inc. speech and dance! xx
CommentAuthorBristolBride
Thanks girls I feel a lot better about asking him to do the speech, I'd completely forgotten about the dance tho, :O
He's a big fan of dubstep so I'm not sure what I'll be getting myself in for if I ask him to dance with me too lol! I'm feeling a lot more at ease about it all now tho so I'll chat to him about it and see what he says,
I'll make sure to post next week to let you know how it goes, xxx
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Brilliant - and as for the father/daughter dance we're not doing this, I think it's more of an American tradition - so it's just me and my new hubby opening the dance floor!
