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Wedding Forum - Engagement... How long is TOO long ?...

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  1.  
    • FutureMrsS
      CommentAuthorFutureMrsS
     
    Hi everyone, newbie here ! :)

    My partner and I have been together for 2 years now and are really excited about the future. We want to get engaged to be married but we will be looking at quite a lengthy engagement period.

    We want the big white wedding in a church and then a reception in a nice boutique hotel or maybe a castle which is lcoal to us.
    We want classic wedding cars and a good photographer to capture the day.

    Looking at around 3 or 4 bridesmaids and maybe 2 or 3 groomsmen. We understand it'll be costly and are prepared for this. We're not rich and have other bills to pay but are looking as saving up instead of getting any loans to cover the costs. Hopefully our parents are footing a few of the bills also.

    How long is TOO long to be engaged, we were thinking for how much we can afford to save each month maybe a 3 year or possibly 4 year engagement... Sounds ages away, I know !

    How long were you engaged for ? What kind of wedding did you have or are going to have ? What has been your budget and have you one over immensely ?

    I know that a lot of people think this amount of time is too long to wait but given the circumstaces of how big we actually want our wedding and what we want to do, we are prepared for this...

    Thansk for any replies :)
  2.  
    • KatieP68
      CommentAuthorKatieP68
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I got in engaged on 18/10/14 and we're getting married 31/12/17 - so a 3 year engagement for us! We said the exact same thing, that we needed time to save up and don't want credit cards paying for the wedding!

    I don't think it's too long, it's quite a norm when it comes to a few people I know, my fiances brother and his fiancee have been engaged for nearly 5 years and still haven't booked a wedding haha - don't sweat about it.

    xx
  3.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    We got engaged 25/12/13 and get married 14/05/16 so a 2 and a half year engagement. We are on quite a tight budget so the extra time to save us is helping a lot.

    A lot of people have long engagements due to the cost of a wedding so it isn't too long at all. Some people get engaged and never get married, my auntie has been engaged for almost 18 years lol x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  4.  
    • CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
      BadgeBadge
     
    I got engaged 22 july 2010(my 21st bday)

    Our wedding is 31st july 2015

    Theres no such thing as too long or too short its whatever is right for you and your situation

    We were plnning on gettin married a few yr ago bt we had 2 kids in between :-)
  5.  
    • CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
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      edited
     
    Oh we only set the date last july btw we havnt planned or saved at all untill last july lol strict budget :-) xx
  6.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    There is no right or wrong, it's whatever suits you best as a couple! My OH and I were engaged just over 2 years before we even considered actually getting married and booking a venue! When we did book a venue we booked it 2 years in advance so we'd have time to save up and spread the cost (and the stress!). When we get married we would have been engaged for just over 4 years. xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  7.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We will be engaged for 2 years when we get married, there is no right or wrong so you do what you feel is best xx

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  8.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
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    Like the others have said there is no right or wrong length of engagement. We get married exactly 2 years to the day from getting engaged. We have saved hard to do it in 2 years and have had no financial help off anyone and wont have a pennys debt after too which is a nice feeling.
    There are so many things to consider that play a factor in the engagement period for people. I for example didn't want to be an "old" bride, i also wanted to stand the best chance of having my parents at my wedding and as they are 69 & 70 so a long engagement was a no no.
    I also know someone like yourself who have wanted a real nice lavish wedding and had a 5 year engagement, They could have married with a nice wedding at the 2 year point but also wanted the fancy cars etc for the day only problem was by the time they got married, she had lost her brother and dad and her oh grandparents and father were too old/ill to attend. They have both always regretted putting the wedding on hold for the materialistic things. They learned the hard way that its the people that matter, nothing else.
  9.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think you can be engaged for as little or long as you wish, my friend was engaged for ten years before they tied the knot. We will have been engaged for 3 yrs before we tie the knot as that's just how it worked out. X
  10.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
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    Completely up to you, I would warn if you are going to wait 4+ years not to start intense planning too early or you will get frustrated that it is too early to do things. Pick a date, find a venue then be calm :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  11.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
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    My first marriage I was engaged for eight years before we got married, second marriage was two years. At the end of the day, you have an engagement as long as you wish.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  12.  
    • RachaelB76
      CommentAuthorRachaelB76
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    just like everyone had said there is no right or wrong time scale. we will have bee engaged for 18months when we get married. We are doing the church wedding, hotel reception and caribbean honeymoon. We looked at what we could save and afford but also made sure it was exactly what we wanted xx




  13.  
    • CommentAuthorJoannaS
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    we were engaged for just over 2 years when we got married. The first time round we were only engaged for 12 weeks!!!
  14.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
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    i was engaged for two years 3 months ... however we had been together 10 years on the day we got married !!!

  15.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    also remember that prices go up ..... so what you dream of having might be financially out of reach in 4 years time

  16.  
    • GeorginaD78
      CommentAuthorGeorginaD78
     
    3-4 years is not too long, when you are planning the time will fly by! Aslong as its the perfect day you want that is all that matters hun x
  17.  
    • GemmaS8204
      CommentAuthorGemmaS8204
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    As everyone has said its up to the individual couple we got engaged 9/10/10 and are getting married 28/8/16 we were both only 18 when we got engaged so knew it wouldn't be for about 5 ish years, it was only around this time last year we started looking into everything. We booked venue 18 months in advance just so we knew costs so we knew how much we needed for budget... However long it will fly by myself and oh have been together 7 years today and that only seems like yesterday xx
  18.  
    • CarolH81
      CommentAuthorCarolH81
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We will have been engaged 8 months by the time we get married, got engaged in February this year and together almost 2 years by the time our wedding comes around, We didn't want to wait any longer. Everyone is different and only you will know what is right. I was with my previous partner for 24 years and never got engaged or married, He died 3 years ago.

    Happy Anniversary GemmaS8204 xx
  19.  
    • GemmaB596
      CommentAuthorGemmaB596
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I don't think there is a right time. We have been engaged for two years, and get married in 5 weeks' time. We had originally thought we would have a 4-5 year engagement but then decided we didn't want to wait that long!
    Of course, it also depends on what you want for your wedding. For us, two years was just long enough to save away enough to have a really nice wedding we will be happy to remember further down the line, but short enough that we wouldn't save so much to go really overboard on the spending. What we save for the next couple of years will now be going on trying to buy a house, and thinking of kids rather than on the one day. Just think about what is most important to you. Not long after we got engaged I was talking to my sister and brother-in-law and my BIL was saying that he now wishes they reined it in a bit and saved away more, whereas my sister was saying that she wishes that they spent more to have the reception at somewhere fancier!
  20.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
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      edited
     
    I got engaged 3 and a half years ago, (been together nearly 6) and I'm now getting married next month. Trust me it will fly by. Plus it gives you more time to look into things, and get in early with venues and get a good price deal.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  21.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We were engaged for 2 years (and together for 11 years at the point we got married)
  22.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We got engaged 17/1/14 and getting married 7/10/17 so 3 years 9 months.
    We got engaged because we wanted to and then thought about the wedding later.
    To us the engagement was our promise to each other and fingers up to the world who didn't want us to be together

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  23.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
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    Think it up to the couple personally we would of been engaged 2years and 5 days until the wedding day but I have friends who have been engaged over 8 yeArs and have still not set a date as they are saving or have bought a home x

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  24.  
    • KayleighS46
      CommentAuthorKayleighS46
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Got engaged 30/03/2014 - getting married 21/05/2016 so just over 2 years for us.

    Wedding isn't a massive affair - £11k budget but that's everything and so far were under it xx

    Met 2013
    Propsed 2014
    Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
    always & forever xxx
  25.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    No such thing as too long in my opinion.

    I have been with my OH 9 and a half years and he only proposed 2 years ago as of the 13th of this month but planning wedding for a lot longer.

    It depends on you personally.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  26.  
    • michgib
      CommentAuthormichgib
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Well compared to us that is quick we have been engaged for 23 years lol.
    What ever you feel comfortable with is right
  27.  
    • CommentAuthorHannahB299
      BadgeBadge
     
    It will be 2 and a half years for us. I don't think u can have too long like these guys say :)

    We're trying to save as much as we can rather than borrow
  28.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
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    We were going to wait for us to get married u til I had qualified, I then pointed out that it might be worth doing it whilst I was still training as I had an income through my bursary and could use that. So we did. Otherwise it would have been about a four year engagement,

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  29.  
    • MrsThomson2B
      CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I got engaged on 01.03.2013 and get married 18.07.2016. my advise would be to work out realistically what you can afford to save each month and put together a provisional guest list and start to look at at venues that will hold that many guest within the budget you set aside. I booked my venue 2 years ago and secured my prices and they guarenteed that the price would not go up. This way you might commit to a date and and also bag a bargain i dsecured prices cheaper than 2013 for 2016 :)
  30.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
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    We had been together 2 years and 10 days, engaged for 16 months, with 13 months Wedding plannning.

    I've personally never wanted a long engagement so we wanted to do it all as and when we could reasonable afford to. My dad has been with my stepmam since I was 3 and they get married next month! Don't worry about the length of your engagement, 1- I bet it's not as long as my dads! 2- it's got nothing to do with anyone else :) just enjoy it x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  31.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We got engaged 5th November 2008 and finally got married on 25th April this year :) We would probably have got married earlier if other things, like buying a house, hadn't got in the way.
  32.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It's as long as you need it or want it to be.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  33.  
    • CommentAuthorYuliaP
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      edited
     
    POST DELETED FOR BREAKING FORUM RULES. LINKS AND SURVEYS ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THE FORUM. CONTINUED USE OF THE SITE WILL RESULT IN YOUR ACCOUNT BEING CLOSED AND YOU BEING BANNED FROM THE SITE. MODERATORS
  34.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We will have been together nearly 6.5 yrs when we get married, and engaged for a yr and 3/4. Its totally up to you but remember prices tend to go up year on year and having the people you love there is more important than a flashy mercedes to drive you there. X
  35.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    There's no such thing as too long. I've heard of couples who don't get engaged until they're ready to start planning and set their date, but I know for me I wanted to get engaged as soon as we both knew that we wanted to get married. As it happened we were ready to start planning pretty much straight away, but even if we hadn't been I still would have wanted to get engaged as soon as the decision was made.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  36.  
    • NaomiD23
      CommentAuthorNaomiD23
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I Think a long engagement is nice and it means taking your time to plan and also change your mind about things too. I got engaged 24/12/13 and get married 23/07/16. We have enjoyed it and the planning and yes been able to save up too.
  37.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We got engaged 06/09/2008. We still haven't set a date yet! By the time the date is set, everything will probably be sorted! I can't help looking at wedding stuff! The longest I've heard is 17 years. She must've been one patient gal!!!

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  38.  
    • LouiseS89
      CommentAuthorLouiseS89
      BadgeBadge
     
    I got engaged in 2010 and just set a date for next july so by the time we get married we would have been engaged for 6 years.
    We had a long engagement as we couldnt afford to get married straight away.
  39.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    we will have been engaged for 5 years before our wedding my parents never actually got engaged (they had a shotgun wedding cos my mum was pregnant) my dad bought my mum an engagement ring after they'd been married for 15 years they've now been married 30 so i think it all depends on you and the circumstances xx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

 

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