I'd really appreciate some advice please. I am getting married soon and my mother has helped me with EVERYTHING,including paying for lots of things for my wedding. During our evening do, I'd like to thank my mother and my best friend and give them both a gift to show my appreciation as between them they are helping me pull everything together. However, my worry is that my fiance's mother hasn't helped at all, she hasn't even asked how the planning is going or anything. I would feel awful not thanking her/giving her a gift but realistically, we do not have anything to thank her for. My fiance agrees with me and he's a little annoyed at her lack of interest (She is very excited for the wedding, just not in the preparation). She is the type to probably feel very put out about not being thanked though and to be honest she often needs to be the centre of attention. What should I do? Present her with a gift like I'd like to with my mother, or not? Thanks all x
Sorrento Wedding July 2015!
CommentAuthorFlossie
I would still get her something as a token of thanks, not for the help she's put into the wedding but for the fact she is your OH's mum and she raised him to be the man you are marrying. It doesn't need to be anything huge, just a bouquet of flowers would suffice xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorNotLongToGo!"£$
Thanks Flossie,
That's a good idea. I wouldn't want to upset her.
I just feel a little disheartened that she hasn't shown much interest in our planning.
Sorrento Wedding July 2015!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Yep I would just get her a bunch of flowers, and the ones who have helped a nice keepsake.
I wouldn't leave her out as it may seem like a dig (I know that its not but especially if she that way inclined) why not get her a small gift.. a bouquet of flowers or something small that way she is acknowledged but you are giving more and a bigger thank you to your mom and friend.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
The saying "thank you" gifts are for your parents bringing you up and being a part of your journey in life and seeing you to this point. Not really about whether they have helped as some parents don't help for a variety of reasons. I personally haven't experience in this as my parents aren't in my life and OHs were happy to leave us to it as we are paying for our wedding completely on our own.
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
CommentAuthorCatherineR
If you are doing presents for both, why don't you do the customary bunch of flowers for both Mum's but then privately in the morning when you are getting ready with your Mum, give her a separate present away from your MIL so she doesn't get miffed so maybe give her a weekend voucher for a spa/hotel visit? x
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorFlossie
That's a nice idea from OATB :-)
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
Wow I could have written your exact post
We arent giving gifts in front of everyone but will say thanks during Ohs speech.
We have got MIL an engraved mug (Its naff but she loves her coffee).
My mum is getting an engraved vase, engraved compact mirror and a mother of the bride coaster as well as her robe and slipper for getting dressed in the morning. My parents haven't helped out financially but they have supported us in others ways not just in the run up to the wedding. MIL doesn't so much as txt to ask how oh and ds are and goes months without contacting us
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorsALLY
we are doing gifts in private that way no one feels left out and we will just say a big thank you to everyone in the speeches instead of individually. Both our families have contributed but they never ask how the plans are coming along (we don't live near them so don't see them aswell) my sister is very interested and always asking so that keeps it a little exciting still
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I'd get her a small bunch of flowers for"her love" and a nice keepsake something more special for your mum and friend x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i would thank your MIL for giving you the man you've just married
We are in same position except it's whole of oh family! To point I put a status up about just 1 year to go and not one of his family liked it yet they all been on book Face! And have seen it!!! Just really winds me up as your marrying a member of their family's yet they haven't the decency to be happy for you! I'd just get her some flowers that's what we r doing for my mil and for my parents I'my getting them a weekend away but will be telling them after the wedding rather than during speeches x
CommentAuthorAmyD532
Hi honey,
This is what you ought to do -
When giving out the gifts, you give the MIL hers first, flowers will be fine. Thank you for being here today / having a wonderful son etc.
Your mum, Prepare a lovely speech, nothing long but make sure she's recognised for her effort, pass over the flowers and maybe something a little extra.
If the MIL gets a bit 'hoity' leave her to it, what's she done to contribute? Besides, who has the patience to deal with a grown woman having a tantrum. Do what you feel is right and enjoy your day! Just make sure she hasn't paid for your honeymoon first! xx