Sorry guys another kind of rant. But i know your good at advise and views.
we have a best woman rather than a man.
we obv didn't include them in getting suits thinking they could get nice outfit themselves.
problem is now that they want to wear something that we don't think is suitable and wont match our day at all. Ive sent them pics of bridesmaid dresses and what our theme is but theve not taken hint. Now in worried that they are going to look stupid compared to rest of us and it will ruin photos etc.
what would you do? Get married in 1 month
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorSonya
What do they want to wear??
I would just be a little firmer and say you like what they want to wear (depending on what that is) but that it's not really what you had in mind and you want all the bridal party to somehow tie in
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorhis duck
They want to wear full on goth outfit complete with gothic makeup. Corsetted dress etc, which im not overly happy with, did think it was bride that was supposed to wear the big dress etc. I wouldn't mind but they arnt even a goth!
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Just tell them no
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorSonya
In that case I would say absolutely not!! Just tell them straight
I would tell them straight.. Exactly like lala. If they are true friends then they would understand xx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorkittyh
hold on...they aren't a goth...but they want to dress like one for your wedding?!?! WHY?? honestly some people make me die! im pretty laid back but if one of my friends or bridesmaids or ushers came out with that it wouldn't be hints i would be dropping...don't let it go any further you really have to bite the bullet and stop all this nonsense right away while there is still time for them to get something else to wear! xx
CommentAuthorhis duck
Ive done the hints, seem to have been ignored so other half has outright texted saying what you wearing and don't do Goth, they responded with a joke pic apparently. Glad to see they find it amusing. i know prob blowing out of proportion but when you've spent do much and put loads of effort in for well over a year to get theme right, plus all other sh1t have been thru with wedding etc for someone 4 weeks before wedding to do this ive had enough well n truly now, its going to look so ridiculous and people are going to wonder what f**k going on! all bridal party in nice light spring colours then a bloody emo on end- sorry its just really emotionally draining! Xxx
thank goodness in only doing thus once as its really shown people up for selfishness etc.
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorMrschapman2b.
edited
In this situation bride takes veto of this, tell her straight she's being disrespectful and it's distasteful you want her in x y or z. If she loves ur groom she will do it.
CommentAuthorclair
Defantly tell them straight! Tell then that u would live it if they could find a outfit to try and match your coular sceam. After all if it was a best man he would be matching the coular sceam. I hate upsetting people but ingave quickly learnt that if u fight upsett people I don't get what u want. It's your day u should get what u want! Xx
Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
CommentAuthorkittyh
sorry but i really don't think you are being unreasonable here...this is one of the most ridiculous things i have ever heard. in fact, are you sure she's actually doing it and its not just a joke?! i just don't get why someone who isn't a goth thinks it acceptable to dress like one for a WEDDING?? its a wedding not a fancy dress..its just weird! xx
CommentAuthorhis duck
Unfortunately its not a joke.
they have responded to other half saying that the Goth outfit will complement bride and groom. How exactly when neither of us are goths? The wedding is woodland theme with bridesmaids in light green?
in going to leave it until Sunday then say i want to see what she is wearing as put too much time and money into getting things right.
feel bad for oh as hes in middle a bit but i honestly thought best man would have brain in head to think that thus isn't their day and to fit in with what we are doing!
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorkittyh
WOW! some people are literally unfathomable...right well if it really isn't a joke then the woman is obviously out of her mind or had a bump on the head! when you speak to her try and be diplomatic, ask her why she thinks dressing up as a goth when she isn't one is appropriate for a wedding. suggest to er what you think is appropriate for the best (wo)man at a wedding. but you really have to be firm it sounds like you are too nice for your own good. Just say, i'm not a goth, oh is not a goth, you are not a goth, the theme of the wedding is not goth and therefore nobody will be dressed as a goth for the wedding. end of story. its not a fancy dress! i don't have anything against goths/goth style as long as that is your normal style but this just sounds like attention seeking to me...? I feel sorry for your oh too but he must see that its utterly ridiculous? xx
CommentAuthorLauraF89
I'm so confused...why does she want to wear goth clothes at a wedding and she's not even a goth? If everyone in the bridal party is in nice spring colours then why cant she do the same?
Let's be honest, if someone turned up to a wedding dressed as mortisha adams people are going to stare, ask questions about why she's dressed that way and the only thing they'll go away talking about is "that goth girl"...I'd get her told asap that she either plays ball or doesn't come. I know it's extreme to come to that ultimatum but i wouldn't risk someone ruining or taking the focus off me and my hubby on our big day.
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorhis duck
Oh i know, glad in not only one who think this, thought i may have been a bridezilla!
i just don't understand it
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
No way I would allow a goth outfit. Unless the bride and groom are themselves goths I think it's totally wrong. I wouldn't object to it from a guest, if they were more comfortable in that style. I think you need to insist that they wear something in the right colour.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
You need to be straight with them. You have every right to be frustrated, especially if they are going for a look they don't normally go towards.
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
CommentAuthorShowgirl
If it was a Halloween wedding with a goth style/theme then yes it would probably look great, but in this situation it sounds more like an attempt to upstage rather than fit in. Whenever I've been a bridesmaid I have only ever had an outfit that met the bride's approval. Even if I'm not in the bridal party and going as a guest I'll usually have a quick word with the bride to make sure the outfit won't match the bridesmaids or anything. I get you wanted to be laid back and let them pick out their own outfits but in my opinion I think it looks nice when the bridal party stand out fom the other guests by being in outfits that are either matching or complimentary to the theme, which should have been the case here but as its not you're going to have to put your foot down (which can be done without becoming a bridezilla). I think you need to sit down with her and perhaps say that although you had planned to let her choose her own dress you've been looking online quickly and have fallen in love with several outfits you think might look amazing on her for the wedding and so it would mean the world to you if she would be willing to go shopping with you to try on some of the outfits... you will obviously need to do a little research before hand, but you'll be able to gently steer her towards something more appropriate and whilst out for the day you have a little more time to chat about how stressful the whole wedding planning thing is (then hopefully she'll then take it all on board and be more compliant in the future), maybe she'll even open up about why she thought a goth look would compliment a springtime wedding - because the rest of us sure as hell can't understand it. Best of luck!
CommentAuthorLauraK7
I would tell her straight if it was a man you'd probably have selected his suit so she needs to listen It's your day and I'm sure you'd rather you were happy with her in a more appropriate outfit or ultimately without her if needs be that to look back at pictures and also be unhappy on the day
CommentAuthorZoeW1
If she was a best 'man' her outfit would be chosen for her. You have given her the freedom to choose sensibly for herself and she has gone mad by the sounds of it. Maybe both of you should sit down with her and explain your worries/opinions on her outfit and why it is not appropriate for you day. Showgirl had a good thought, suggesting outfits which would suit her and look better, flattery is always a great way to get around people ;)
Good luck with it. Must be very stressful for you.
CommentAuthorChanelP
The only way that I would try and solve this is by finding an outfit together with her. It is tricky because like you say it isn't just a suit but you need to be firm else she will look out of place. Like you say you want her to tie in so you need to tell her straight :)
XxX
CommentAuthorTori
She will look like she is attending a funeral rather than a wedding and perhaps appear if she is mourning a loss and as best woman she may appear as if she is mourning the loss of the groom now he is getting married. Tell h2b to let her know that she will come across as a little desperate to the other guests!
CommentAuthorhis duck
Eugh...
so all weekend ive been stressing. My oh actually rang her saying rather bluntly don't even think about it. But still they went shopping for a Goth dress. Also me n oh were going to get one of those theemed photoshoits where you dress up in vintage gear after we got married for bit of fun for album.....guess what they did this weekend! So we arnt doing that anymore or it will be like... Oh just like such n such pictures. Bit muffed about that!
anyway Sunday morning id had enough as they were sending pics to oh of them in full Goth so i sent links to 10 dresses all high street and gorgeous saying tell me your size and pick three in going to order them as they either suit bridesmaids, groom and match flowers we've spent fortune on and the theme which we've spent time on.
all i got was a don't worry ill get something.
later they sent pic to oh theve bought a dress. Its green which i spose fits with wedding bit in still not 100%. Also despite us saying bridal party all wearing dark grey suits etc they bought their oh a blue suit n bow tie??!!
i tell you ladies ill be so glad after wedding when i can tell these people to stuff off, all people who caused us grief etc.
if only id known then what i do now things would have been different!!!
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorAH86
I would honestly bit very peed off!
Just say something along the lines of I understand you are happy to get your own dress but We will be making the final choice as we have done with all of the other decisions surrounding OUR wedding day. Let me know which 3 you like and I will order and you can try on. If she kicks up a fuss then I would personally have to pull the plug, put my foot down and say if it's not sorted and in the way me and h2b want it within the next week then you will have to pull her from the role as you do not need to be worrying about this so close to your big day.
Grrrr she sounds so inconsiderate!
Friday 10th April 2015
Marrying my best friend
Not long now :D
CommentAuthorMrsH
I agree with Ali. Now is the tim eto be firm, tell her this is what is happening and if she doesn't like it then maybe she should just come as an ordinary guest, if one at all!
As awful as it sounds, sometimes you just have to cut people out for the better!
CommentAuthorhis duck
I really don't want to go down that route.
we've just said that we will be choosey with photographs.
they have fkd me off beyond belief. And if they turn up looking like clowns in just going to ignore them. Thing is shoeing off dressing like that surely will backfire as they will be getting stared at for wrong reasons!
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorAH86
edited
I really don't understand how you are being so nice about the situation in just sorting photos around them. It's not a birthday party, it's your wedding which you've probably spent years planning,saving for and a lot of money on! If I had a member of the bridal party act like her,I personally would seriously reconsider just how good a friend they were and whose best intentions they had at heart. If they had her attitude I would absolutely give them a piece of my mind and call them up on their selfish behaviour. It's 1 day to them, they should wear what they are told and just be honoured to be such a part of it because for you, it's the BIG day, it's your wedding day, the day you marry the person of your dreams. If they can't understand that, then they wouldn't be on the table plan let alone in the photos and definitely not behind the scenes!
I know everyone's different and it's your choice how you deal with the situation but I really don't think you would be in the wrong for going down that route. It's not being a bridezilla, it's being a bride!
Good luck xx
Friday 10th April 2015
Marrying my best friend
Not long now :D
CommentAuthorclair
Tbh I think u have just got to say NO! It is YOUR wedding day U should get what u want. I hate telling bieing firm with people and also hate upsetting people. But I have released quickly that to get what u want on your wedding day u have to be firm. If u don't like what they are wearing then tell them. Say that or though the dress is lovely u would rather they choose one that u sent them. It is suppose to be the best day of your life. U don't want to be looking at the picks and regretting not being firmer. Xx
Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
CommentAuthorMrsH
It's not even just 'being a bride' it's being human! Yes everybody has different tastes but if you have asked her to dress in a certain way she should respect your decision!
I was lucky, everyone was so cooperative, but if someone wasn't I had my speech all planned out! At the end of the day, the day belongs to you and your H2B and not some attention seeking 'friend'. If she was a truly good friend, she would understand and do what you want.
You really have to be firm and tell her or I'm afraid you might regret it! Upsetting a true friend should only last a short while, but your pictures are forever!
CommentAuthorclair
Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
CommentAuthorhis duck
Ffs its gone one step further now, two weeks to go an her hair has been dyed green. IM hoping its just for a party they are going to at weekend and it gets turned back for wedding!
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorShowgirl
LOL... well green is part of your colour scheme! Sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh but I can't help it, she has put you through more than enough stress already and to then pull this... I really can't figure out what is going on in her head
CommentAuthorMrsRMalone2b
edited
Are you sure she actually want to be part of the wedding party? It's almost like she's going out of her way to be relegated to guest..... Does she have to make a speech or anything that might be freaking her out? Is there no one else that can do it?
CommentAuthorAH86
Grrrr the sound of her makes me angry!
Friday 10th April 2015
Marrying my best friend
Not long now :D
CommentAuthorclair
It just makes me cross how selfish she is bieing. I would of demoted her my now! U need to be ferm or else u won't get the day u want Hun. X
Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
CommentAuthorLauraK7
I agree with ail I think you should just tell her you are choosing the dress or she will be just a guest
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I would definitely ask her about the hair. If she's planning on keeping it then that is your ultimatum. Either go back to the natural colour or don't be best women.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorVickiD69
sounds to me like she is trying to ruin your wedding, and because you have asked for green, shes died it green. You need to tell her shes not coming or who knows what she will try to do next! shes maliciously sabotaging your wedding and pretending its ok. Hope your day goes perfectly :)
CommentAuthorDanielleMystic
what an absolute b1tch!! i cant believe how rude she is being! she is obviously quite close to the groom hence why she was chosen for that role - does she not care about him or his feelings at all?! even if she has some unspoken problem with you its not jut your day she's ruining!! I really hope for your sake its sorted soon hun, this is not what you should be spending the last 2 week before your wedding doing xx
*What hasn't killed me has made me stronger!*
*Saved by her knight this Queen won't let them win!*
Am blessed to be loved by you and your father
CommentAuthorMrsRMalone2b
Hey Hun. How did your big day go?
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
Oh my god, I just read through all this and thought "what the hell?" if any of my ladies pulled any one of those stunts they would be axed no matter how much they mean to me. Genuinely sounded like she was trying sabotage something. I hope the day went well, she dyed her hair to something more sensible and also dressed in something she was suppose to be wearing and not trying to be the centre of attention on what should be your day.
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
CommentAuthorMrsRMalone2b
That or I hope they rugby tackled her and locked in a closet somewhere.....
CommentAuthorCJGroove
I want to know how this panned out! how was the beast woman...sorry BEST woman's outfit??
CommentAuthorShowgirl
Can't wait to hear about it as well... and definitely can't wait to see the pics! At a guess though I'd say the happy couple are probably on their honeymoon at the moment but we'll hopefully get an update soon.
