Wedding Forum - Am i wrong?...

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Grooms > Stag Nights: am i wrong?

1 to 22 of 22

- CommentAuthorsusan1990
basically we left the best man (my future BIL) in charge of aranging the stag do, he works away at sea and has been away for last 2 months and doesnt get back until 12th september but he had plenty of time to arrange it before he went away which he wanted to do but we had one meeting with him before he went back to sea and we sorted a date -15th september which is 2 weeks before the wedding and we aranged for hen doo to be the weekend after which is a week before the wedding. we told friends andfamily when each event was and have booked andf planned things, today i get a text from FBIL saying that he might be back late he might not be back until a week later and he wants to change the date of the stag do and i have said no, where they are going they can only really go at the weekend as nothings open during the week. people have booked the time of work and things have been booked for both doo's and they cant go out on the same night as the girls as alot of people including myself have children. hes now mad at me because i wont change the date but theres not alot i can do. he went away without sorting anything out so i have had to do it myself arange there transport and get them deals to get in to the clubs, get all there shirts personalised for them and collect everyones money ect. told him that if he misses it he will just have to arrange a night in at my house when the girls go out but hes still not happy with it. im i realy being that harsh? what if he wasnt back in time for the wedding would he expect me to change the date of that aswel grrrr sorry for the rant x
- CommentAuthorShazk
No way are U in the wrong at all I would do and say the same, its his job to sort it and yes we all have work commitments but that isn't anyone roses fault.

Like U say if he not back he can just do something when ur out, U have done all the work so y should U now have to do any more work to sort what he should of etc!!

Stick to ur guns and keep it as it is x x

Away with the flutterbys xxx
- CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
Wow! I can kind of see why he would be upset about missing his brothers stag do, but no way should you change it just for him. It's not just you he would be messing around but everyone who is going to the stag, as they may not be able to make the new date and then what happens about the money they have payed etc? I dont see anything wrong with your suggestion of him having a lads night in when you have your hen. Don't let him work you down! It's not your fault he cant get back in time and he shouldn't be trying to make you feel guilty about it xxx

Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
- CommentAuthorHobbitBeth
Nope, i dont think you're in the wrong. As you said if he had enough time before he left then why didnt he plan it then, tough luck on him

x
- CommentAuthorsusan1990
thanks ladies, started doubting myself i no hes going to be pretty gutted missing his brothers stag if hes not back but its not my fault. my h2bs other brother isnt going on the stag either as he decided to go abroad for one of his mates stag doos aswel over his brothers :/ this family drives me up the wall why am i marrying in to it again? lol even his dad isnt going on the stag yet all 3 of my brothers, my dad, my grandad and my cousin are all going. it is a big if aswel so i could change everything and he could turn round last minuit and say ohactually i am going to be back so not even worth thinking about x

- CommentAuthorKarenB9
No i would of done the exact same given the same circumstances x
- CommentAuthorHa_x3
Your definatly not in the wrong, stand by your word hun xx

Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
- CommentAuthorTeganandRob
He should have organised it for a date before he went away. Surely he knows the nature of his work means he might have to stay longer so to ensure he could come he should have planned the date that wasn't so close to his work schedule. Why is he talking to you about it, it's his brothers stag do, surely they should sort it out between themselves.
- CommentAuthorLegoWife
You can't rearrange the whole thing for just one person. He didn't even bother to sort it out when it was his job to so you deffo shouldn't rearrange it just for him!

~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
- CommentAuthorsusan1990
teganandrob, h2b didnt want any part of planning it he wanted it to be a surprise and the rest of his mates are useless that why i ended up doing it when best man failed to do it :/ he wouldnt be having one if it wasnt for me :(
- CommentAuthorShelleyM46
ur not in the wrong at all i understand if he cant make it but he cant expect every 1 2 change there plans n u sorted it out any way id do exacly the same x

cant wait to marry the love of my life
my soul mate and my best friend
- CommentAuthorSam
Look at it from his point of view as best man and your OH's brother he should be an indispensable part of the stag do but because of the nature of his work he not only wasn't able to plan far in advance for the do, he also can't attend. He must be gutted.
- CommentAuthorMrsShaw
yeah but he chose to work in a job where he cant plan long term samantha. if he wanted a job where he knew what he'd be working all the time he had that choice.

stick by your word hun, he expects to not organize anything and let you sort it, yet wants you to jump when he clicks his fingers. dont think so.

xx
- CommentAuthorTeganandRob
Ah I see. I still don't think it's reasonable for him to ask to change the date, maybe if there were still a couple of months until the wedding but it's all very tight for time now. Could you get the boys to arrange an after wedding 2nd stag do that he could attend?
- CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
Tell him to take it as holidays! I can't believe it, he's you OH brother! If everything is booked then surely he must understand. I also think that he must be gutted so try not to fall out with him over it. Try a different approach maybe. Tell him you know how gutted he would be to be missing it and is there anything he can do at all? xx
- CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
personally I'd stick 2 your guns and not rearrange but is there anyway u can swap the hen and stag nights?

Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
- CommentAuthorsusan1990
we have already looked at mrs t, but people have booked the time off work already so if we were to swap the 2 dates alot of my guests wouldnt be able to go and alot of h2bs guests wouldnt be able to go so it would mean we are chaninging everything for one person and letting another like 10 people down when they have already paid for things aswel. and not to mention we have transport and venues and events booked for both it would mean changing everything. i no he will be gutted if he misses it but hes the one thats choosing to work, everyone else has booked the time of work and making sure that they are here x
- CommentAuthormrs clarke to be
its a difficult one as he works away , but u cant rearrange every obne else one person is fine but not 20 + people u will have to say he will have to try harder to come home or he will have to do a seperater thing with him on the night ur hen do is and pray u can get a baby sitter xxx
- CommentAuthorsusan1990
just been informed that he wont be home until the 25th...4 days before the wedding! so even if we did swap the hen and stag he wouldnt be here for it :/ x
- CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Coleman
ours is our 6 year anniversary :) cant wait xxx
- CommentAuthorsusan1990
think youve posted in the wrong thread mrs coleman :P x
- CommentAuthorSam
Maybe you could extend your sympathies to the fbil about missing the stag and suggest that he arrange a night out with his brother when he comes back? That would cost you nothing and go a long way in repairing the damage caused by this stag night rift.

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