Im having a problem trying to figure out what to do about an issue between my father and my mothers side of my family as id like them both to be at my wedding the problem is my mothers side of the family cant stand my dad and it always causes an argument between my mum and me if i metion him but ive never had a problem with him. The problem im having is if i have him there they wont show becouse of him but if i dont they will say horrible stuff about him behind his back and i want him to give me away. Please help as i dont want there to be a fight
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
If they really care about you they will be there and hold there tongue for the day so it does not get ruined for you, as its your day.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorLauraF89
Agree with Lana!
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
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CommentAuthorLauraY27
agree with Lana. They are adults and need to act that way and not like children in a playground x
CommentAuthorShowgirl
I would sit your family down and tell them that planning a wedding is stressful enough and can forsee potential issues that you want to nip in the bud now and that is its your intention to have your Dad give you away, explain that it is your wedding (therefore your decision) and you expect them to behave in an appropriate/civil way throughout for just this one day for your sake if no one else's.
Yeah I agree with the other ladies...at the end of the day its your day and if you want your dad there thats your right and they shouldn't make you feel guilty about it. Just tell them straight that he will be there and that its important to you that they are there too but you want them to understand and respect your decision now as there is going to be no further discussion on the subject. I think all parents with children who split up must have in their mind that the day will come when their child will get married and for that one special day they will have to put their feelings aside. 2 of my best friends parents had very acrimonious splits (cheating etc) but both their sets of parents are getting on with it for the sake of my friends. xx
CommentAuthorAprilS61
I had EXACTLY the same problem, but it was more than just my parents not being able to stand each other but where police have been involved. It's gone on since I was about 4 and I'm now 21. Each side said I had to choose and I refused for two months, causing endless tears and me feeling like not wanting to get married at all. I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle, but my sister and nieces to be bridesmaids, but of course if one went, the other wouldn't. In the end I just had to suck it up and I chose my dad. My mam, stepdad, sister and brother in law have now stopped talking to me (and my sister doesn't want me to see my nieces) and refusing to come to my wedding because I 'made the wrong choice' which is so upsetting, but if i chose my mam and sister's side it would be exactly the same outcome.
I just have to hope now that they see how ridiculous and selfish they are being, but have 11 months for them to get themselves together.
I hope you don't have to end up the same and that your parents can pull through for one day like I wish mine could, after all, any normal family would! x
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorAH86
Invite your dad! Your dream is for him to give you away after all.
Personally, if I was in your situation I wouldn't even consider the people threatening not to come because of it. It's YOUR day not theirs and if they are childish enough to sacrifice seeing someone they love and care for marry the man of their dreams then they are not worthy of an invite.
Have a chat with them and just tell them that he will be there end of. If they threaten not to come then just say that it shows a lot more about them than anyone else!
Best of luck chick x
Friday 10th April 2015
Marrying my best friend
Not long now :D
CommentAuthorHappyBunny
I have in laws that do not get on but are very willing to be around each other on the day. I hope things get sorted for you xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I agree with Lana.
Shame on them if they can't hold their tongues and be nice for one day for you xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorKatieW63
Thanx everyone this is putting my mund at rest.
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I agree with all the other ladies, it is your wedding day and if they cant hold their tongues for one day and just be civil to each other then they don't deserve to be there! It is your wedding day and if you want your dad to give you away then have that happen! xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
You definitely need your dad there ... Are the others adults or children spitting their dummies out? I don't think I'd even want those ppl there tbh if that's how they act x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I hope they can have the decency to respect you, your OH and your wedding day, it's just one day!
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
OMG they are behaving like 4yr olds .... " I'm not going if he's going "
Quite frankly their love of you should over ride any other feelings they have about anybody else and if they can't do that I don't think I'd want them there anyway
DO NOT GIVE IN TO EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
If anyone says anything you just need to say that you want them to share your day with you but it is up to them
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CommentAuthorAprilS61
No advertising
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorCarrieD26
Don't choose! Invite all and explain you really want them there but you want *insert family members name" there too and expect everyone to be civil.
It's down to them to decide then and no fault of yours.
They can be seated at opposite sides of the room to discourage any bad feeling or arguments and perhaps have an usher keep an eye out for any sign of arguments.
On this special day all that matters is your relationship with the people you invite. Not their relationships with one another and I would absolutely never choose between family members!
CommentAuthorZaraP84
edited
Sorry April - I didn't realise! Don't suppose it helps if it's for a good cause? :) Do you know if there is part of this site that might be more appropriate?
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CommentAuthorWhovianbride
edited
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Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
