Church of England
A Christian Marriage
The marriage ceremony is basically the same whether it is held in a church or a Register Office. It is a public declaration of your love for each other and a statement of your commitment to an ongoing relationship. It will give you a new legal status as husband and wife and a new stability within which your relationship can grow and flourish.
But if you choose to be married in a church you are also saying that you want God to be a part of your relationship. The Bible is full of references to love and Christians believe that the love you have for each other is a reflection of God’s love for all his people on earth.
Including God in your marriage doesn’t mean that you will necessarily avoid all the ups and downs, but you will know that you can look to him for help and guidance and that his love will sustain you in the years to come. You will also have the support and encouragement of the Christian church family to rely on.
The Bible compares married love with the love Jesus had for his followers. He expressed his love by being prepared to sacrifice himself, even to die for the people he loved. This is an amazing example of unconditional love. Jesus never said “I love you, but...”. In our marriages we can try to follow his model by loving our partners in a self-sacrificial way, always putting their needs before our own.
At the moment, although feeling slightly nervous about making such a major decision, you are probably wonderfully happy. Your wedding day will be one of the most important days of your life and as you prepare for it you will be thrilled and excited, looking forward to a long and happy life together.
Of course sometimes things do go wrong in marriage. You may know someone whose marriage has not worked out or married people who are going through a hard time. Fortunately the wedding service is firmly grounded in reality. You probably know the phrase, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”. Nobody knows what the future will bring but in the promises that you will make to each other before God, you are saying that you will stick together, whatever happens. That’s quite a promise. What if one of you becomes seriously ill or disabled, or if the children you are both looking forward to don’t arrive?
You need to be as sure as you possibly can that you are both ready to marry. It is much better to delay the wedding than to go through with it if you are not 100% committed to each other. If you need to talk to someone about such concerns, your minister will be able to help you or put you in touch with someone who can.
Where can we be married?
You are entitled to be married in the church of the Church of England parish where either one of you lives. If you would like to have your wedding at a church which is not in your parish it may be possible, your minister will advise. The law says that you must both be at least 18 (or 16 if you have your parents’ consent). To make your church wedding legal you have to have either a Common Licence, an Archbishop’s Licence, or have your Banns read out in church for three consecutive Sundays during the three months preceding the wedding. Banns (an announcement of your intention to marry) have to be read in each parish in which you are resident as well as at the church in which you are to be married. Your local minister will advise you on this.
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- Need advice on getting organised for the big day, get some advice on our wedding plans.